by Chris Widener
"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly." - Theodore Roosevelt
I Am - the Arena of Values
I Should – the Arena of Responsibility
I Could - the Arena of Possibility
I Would - the Arena of Negotiation
I Want To - the Arena of Vision
I Will - the Arena of Dedication
I Do - the Arena of Accomplishment
In this article we are going to be looking at the “Arenas” that every person, organization, or business can operate out of. They are Values, Responsibility, Possibility, Negotiation, Vision, Dedication, and Accomplishment. The degree of our success is directly related to the degree in which we excel in and balance these arenas. As you go through each segment, think practically, because these are intended to be more than intellectual ideas. They are intended to help you solidify them into your life and turn your potential into performance. Though this article is specific to business and industry, the principles here are easily translated into personal application.
I Am - The Arena of Values.
Every person, organization and business has values. They may not know what they are, or they may not be able to articulate what they are, but they have them. The values of a business are what they believe in. What do they think is important? What do they hold as dear to the organization? Customer satisfaction is a simple value that a business may hold, for example. What a company values will affect the way the business runs and the employees act and work, so it is important to know what your business values are. Here are some questions for you to ask. I would encourage you to involve as many top-level people in this process as possible, as well as others, even down to the lowest levels of the organization. What do we think is important? What do we hope to accomplish? What do we believe in as we go about our work? Another item to deal with is Values Dissonance. That is when you state your values and find that they are not in action in the company. This then, takes teamwork and leadership to make sure that everybody is on the same page with your corporate values. The first step in a successful organization, or for your own life for that matter, is to determine your values. I would encourage you to spend some time on this if you haven’t already. And if you have, continue to make sure that everybody in the organization knows and believes in them. Two excellent books on the subject are Leadership Jazz, and Leadership Is An Art, both by Max DuPree. Is there clear indication in your place or work that you are operating in the Arena of Values? Can you say without a doubt that “I Am,” or “We Are”? Hopefully you can, and if not, you can be, with a little work.
I Should – The Arena of Responsibility
I understand that responsibility is in some people’s minds a four-letter word, but not in those who want to achieve true, lasting success that benefits not only themselves, but a great number of people around them. Those who would lead the way to accomplishment must also understand that they have responsibilities. And the man or woman of honor, integrity, and success, lives up to those responsibilities. So what are these responsibilities that we must live by? While I want to encourage you to think about them specifically for your own life and business, there are a few that I believe are for all of us.
1. To be a person and company of high integrity.Ultimately, we are only a success to the degree that we are honorable people. This means that we are honest, hard working, and forthright. I don’t think it matters how much money one accumulates if the are not a person of integrity.
2. To live by the “golden rule.”And the golden rule isn’t what one of my best friends grew up thinking it was: He who has the gold, makes the rules! No, it is that we will treat others as we want to and expect to be treated.
3. To our families. Regardless of the work we do, it is of utmost importance that our families sit atop the priority list. Sometimes I think of all the people I help and work so hard for day by day and realize that none of them will be at my side when I breathe my last breath. My wife and children will fill those spots. Therefore, they get the most from me. I owe it to them. They are important to me and it is my responsibility to be there for them, no matter what my opportunities are elsewhere.
4. To give to charity.The more you hear from me, the more you will realize that I am big on the idea of charity. I think one of the things that rounds us out as healthy, successful people is to give away money, time, and possessions, free of all strings. Simply give it away to a cause that you believe in. Make it big. Make it a sacrifice. Instead of a $10 check every now and then, put it into your budget to give away a certain amount every month. At first you will think it is impossible but it will come around. And one of the great benefits to this is that at the end of your life, you will be able to look back and see the difference you have made. These are just a few areas, but they are the umbrellas that cover the rest of our lives. If we get these right, we are 95% there.
I Could – The Arena of Possibility
Now we cover the arena of possibility. It seems to me that many businesses, and schools and organizations often get so caught up in the day to day that they lose their zest for life. They get the nose to the grindstone, and may even be doing important work, but they forget to dream. They forget to think of what could be. (for more on achieving your dreams, see my article “Dare to Dream Again) How is your business in the arena of possibility? What would happen if at your next staff meeting, whether you have 30 people or it’s just you and your partner, you asked the question “What could we really do if we put it all together? If we really stretched ourselves as far as we could?” Or how about “What are the possibilities for this business to really do something great or dynamic?” I think that you would probably be astounded at what you would hear. People have great ideas, dreams, and possibilities inside of them. They just need someone to stop the treadmill and ask the question, surrounded by an atmosphere of acceptance. Here are some areas to think about possibilities in:
The office atmosphere
Customer relations
Customer satisfaction
Increased sales
Increased profit
Community service projects
I Would – the Arena of Negotiation
After you have recognized your corporate values, understood your responsibilities and then had your staff possibilities session, there comes a time of reflection upon those possibilities. Every possibility has a cost associated with it. At this point an organization not only says “we could” but they also need to determine what the cost will be and whether or not the successful implementation of the possibility is worth the cost. This is the arena of negotiation. It isn’t negotiation in the traditional sense of the word, such as negotiating a price with a client or vendor, but is primarily an internal negotiation. This is where you ask qualifying questions. “I would if…”
If this is to come about, what will the cost be? Is it worth it? If this comes about, what will the ramifications be in other areas of my business? What other adjustments would have to be made, and are they worth it? What would the reward have to be in order for me to pursue this possibility? How long will it take me to reach this possibility? In light of that, do I want to readjust the organization for that period of time? In other words, would the outcome be worth it? What trade-offs will I have to make with my time, finances, staff, customers, or family? Are these trade-offs worth it?
These are all examples of negotiation questions. You are negotiating internally, with yourself or your staff.
For example, you may find that your possibilities include substantially more profit for an extra five hours of your time per week. But your family life may be such that it wouldn’t be the overall best situation for you to increase your workload five more hours a week at this point in your life. Perhaps it is still a possibility, but should be delayed for a year or two You may see the possibility of giving better customer service by adding two new employees, to bring the ratio of employees to customers down. What would the cost be? What would the reward be? Perhaps you will find out that the reward, be it financial or otherwise, is more than sufficient in your mind to spur you on to pursue the possibility. You may want to get a comprehensive view of your current customers’ satisfaction. There is any number of ways to go about obtaining that information. Giving a response card to each person that visits. Calling past customers on the phone. Visiting each client personally. What are the costs of these? Which ones are right for you and your staff at the current time? Every possibility has a cost associated with it. Take some time this week to measure the costs of your possibilities. Then, when you find those that are good for you – go for it!
I Want To – The Arena of Vision
Sometimes one of the best ways to determine what you or your company or organization should do is what you want to do! Two sections back we asked what the possibilities were for your business. We decided to dream a little. Now, of those possibilities, what ones would you really like to do? The reason for this is simple:
Because those ideas that stir our passions for excellence become things that we can easily “see.” They can become our “vision.” Vision is a word that is used a lot in leadership development these days, and for a good reason. In order for something to happen, someone has to first see it happening long before it actually does. Sure, there are lots of things you could do (possibilities), but what do you want to do? What can you see yourself doing? If money, and time, were no object; if you knew that you couldn’t fail at your attempt; what would you want to try? Then, why not try? This can become your vision. And a vision is a powerful thing. Vision is what drives success and accomplishment. Just think of the great accomplishments of mankind and about what vision must have been behind them. So, what do you want to do in your life? What would you like to accomplish with your business or organization? Great things come when we dream, when we gain a vision of a better tomorrow. Vision drives us to attempt things far beyond where we are right now. Here is one of my favorite quotes from old Rough and Ready, Teddy Roosevelt. I hope it encourages you to stretch for greater things. “Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy, nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.”
I Will – The Arena of Dedication
They say that the three most important things in real estate are “location, location, location.” That may very well be true, but I have decided, after being involved in numerous start-up ventures (both for profit and non-profit) that the three most important things in work, especially during the start-up process, are “perseverance, perseverance, perseverance.” I have come to believe that much of what separates the successful from the unsuccessful is simply determination. The successful are not always the brightest, the best looking, or those with the most prestigious diplomas. Instead, they are the ones who say “I will do this!” and “Hardship will not deter me!” These people have entered into and continually live in the arena of dedication. Staying there long enough usually puts them on top. Dedication is a key to success. So far, we have had you determine your corporate values, and had you dream and think of the possibilities for your life, work, and organization. What now? Hard work! Once you and your staff have determined what your possibilities are, you should also spend some time to recognize all of the hard work that will be involved in achieving your dreams. Then spend some time preparing to meet the challenges. Here are some questions to help you get through the process, prepare yourself for the job ahead, and come out on the end of success.
1. What are the obstacles we will face?
2. How will we overcome those obstacles?
3. What kinds of attitudes and dedication will we need to exhibit when the time comes to face difficulties and up-hill battles?
4. What are the rewards our dedication will bring to us as individuals and corporately?
Focusing in on these questions will help you prepare for the times when you will need to show dedication, perseverance and inner fortitude. The mental preparation now will strengthen you to succeed later.
I Do – The Arena of Accomplishment
As we close this series, it is important to remember that these phases are all constantly rotating through different areas of our lives. In some areas we will be in the values formulating arena, others the dedication arena. And of course we will at times be in the accomplishment arena. It comes when the job is complete. What is important at this stage? Well, a few things actually.
1. A little rest. Notice I said a “little.” It isn’t time to sit back for good, but resting can be a much-needed reward for all of the hard work you have shown up until now. After the pace of pursuing your dreams, your body and mind need some well– deserved rest.
2. A little celebration. Celebrations are great for us. What is all the work for if one can’t enjoy the fruit of his labor? Maybe it is a small dinner out. Maybe it is a huge celebration like a party for a hundred of your closest friends and business associates. Maybe it is an exotic vacation?
3. A sense of fulfillment. The greatest reward is, as the old saying goes, “the satisfaction of a job well done.” Not many people make it to the accomplishment arena very often. Enjoy the satisfaction!
4. A new high bar. One of the great things about life is the challenge of new heights. You have accomplished your task, and that’s good, but…
Now, What’s Next?
Friday, December 19, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
A BETTER WAY TO BURN FAT!
Not that I have any FAT friends, or that any of my friends need the information in this article, but maybe some of my friends have friends that are FAT and might need this information. Get my drift? :)
by Sheila Mulrooney Eldred is a Minneapolis-based freelance writer.
It's not fair, you say: You're eating right and you're working out for hours every week, yet your unwanted fat is barely fazed – in fact, it's just plain ignoring you. What gives?
Well, it could be that you haven't yet trained your body to burn fat efficiently. Or it could be that you've adapted to your current program and, as a result, you're burning fewer calories than you were a few months ago.
Either way, stalled weight loss can be frustrating, but here's the good news: Using strategic heart-rate training, you can drop those stubborn pounds. Heart-rate training is a personalized form of cardiovascular training that serves more than weight-loss goals. It establishes optimal exercise intensities – or zones – based on your unique metabolism, heart rate, current level of fitness, and health or fitness goals. By strategically working out within these parameters, you encourage your cardiorespiratory system to become stronger and more efficient. This leads to improved athletic performance and a tendency for your body to use stored fat rather than its circulating and stored sugar (glucose and glycogen) for energetic fuel.
The bottom line? Regardless of why you undertake heart-rate training, you'll probably wind up burning more fat, more easily. And if you're trying to lose weight, that's probably especially sweet music to your ears.
Gauge Your Intensity Whether you run, swim or do step aerobics, you can use your heart rate to personalize your weight-loss program. The idea is to train at the right intensity for the right amount of time.
All you need is a heart-rate monitor or a keen sense of your exertion levels. This approach removes some of the traditional focus on "per-session caloric burn" and instead places it squarely on metabolic fitness. "Heart-rate training changes your physiological structure," says Kevin Steele, PhD, vice president of research and development at Life Time Fitness. "The goal is to improve cardiorespiratory strength, increase lean body mass and elevate metabolism in the process."You'll first need to determine your anaerobic threshold (AT), the heart rate at which your body transitions from burning primarily fat to using primarily carbohydrates (sugars) for energy. When your body kicks into sugar-burning gear, lactic acid begins to accumulate in the bloodstream faster than you can use it. While this intensity produces a high rate of caloric burn and significant fitness gains, it's difficult to maintain for long. Happily, you don't have to. By simply cycling your intensity up and down (interval training) so that your heart rate repeatedly approaches, crosses and then drops below your AT, you can achieve dramatic fat-burning results, both during exercise and while you're going about your daily business. Find Your Happy Place You can calculate your AT by taking a Metabolic Assessment Profile (MAP) test at your health club, or you can get a general sense of it by referencing the heart-rate-training chart at lifetimefitness.com/heart_rate.
The heart-rate training zones are based on your individual AT and form the backbone of your weight-loss program.
Zone 1.
Use this warm-up and active recovery zone to begin and end your workout, and when you're fatigued, sore or overtrained. Your heart rate is 60 to 70 percent of your AT, and you generally burn more fat calories than carbohydrates.
Zone 2.
In the aerobic development zone (70 to 90 percent of your AT), you build your aerobic base and efficiency, which improves your overall conditioning and endurance. In this zone, you are typically still burning more calories from fat than carbohydrates.
Zone 3.
Just below or at your AT (90 to 100 percent), the aerobic endurance zone is where your body begins to use an equal combination of fat and carbs as a fuel source and creates a higher caloric burn rate. This "hard" zone challenges your cardiovascular system and results in improved endurance and cardio efficiency.
Zone 4.
The anaerobic endurance zone (100 to 110 percent of AT) raises your AT and increases your tolerance to lactic acid, training the body to reuse it as an energy source. In this zone, your body primarily uses carbs for energy.
Zone 5.
In this zone – the most difficult of all – you pour on effort and intensity for short intervals that challenge your body to reach its full athletic potential. Carbs are nearly the sole fuel source. This level of exertion is extremely difficult to maintain for more than a few minutes (or for the untrained, seconds).
If your primary goal is weight loss, you can apply heart-rate training to your program by initially spending a significant portion of your workout in zones 2 and 3, which help you develop a solid aerobic base. Concentrating your efforts there allows you to exercise harder and longer while burning fat as the primary source of energy.
Once you've developed an aerobic base, you'll begin to exercise at intensities closer to your AT (the boundary which separates zones 3 and 4). You'll burn a greater number of calories, but more important, you'll teach your body how to shift between the aerobic and anaerobic energy systems, building your metabolic rate and encouraging your body to burn fat at increasing levels of intensity, thus improving your exercise endurance. (You'll recognize that you've built a solid aerobic base when you can spend time doing cardio exercise without experiencing the high fatigue level you felt when you first started the program.)
From Stalled to Stellar Caroline Connor, of Shelby Township, Mich., had just about given up on trying to lose weight when she learned about heart-rate training. Connor's fitness had stalled so much that she started to wonder if her body was actually immune to exercise. As a last resort, she decided to give Life Time Fitness's O2 heart-rate-training program a try. Twice a week with a trainer, Connor did group workouts based on her unique AT, exercising primarily in zones 1, 2 and 3. She also did similar workouts on her own twice a week. By the end of the six-week program, the 48-year-old nurse had dropped her body fat from 20 to 18 percent, and lowered her four-mile running time by more than four minutes.
Most people embarking on a heart-rate-training program for the first time see changes in as little as three to four weeks – provided they exercise three to four times per week in the zones appropriate for their current level of fitness.
The following changes will be evident in both your cardiovascular and musculature systems: Cardio. By introducing training stimuli, the heart becomes more efficient at working above its resting heart rate.
Translation: It becomes easier to work out harder for longer – thus you burn more calories with greater ease, and in less time. Your resting heart rate also decreases, meaning your heart is capable of pumping the same amount of blood with fewer beats. Ultimately, your cardiac output and efficiency improve.
The key to metabolic-training success, says Steele, is consistency and variety. Working in different zones helps boost your overall fitness level, increasing the range in which your body uses fat for fuel. It also helps maximize the number of calories you burn postworkout and encourages your body to store carbs as quicker-burning glycogen instead of fat. Musculature. Mitochondria, often referred to as "cellular power plants," are responsible for burning fat. Regular exercise increases the number of mitochondria in your cells. Thus, increasing mitochondria through exercise helps you burn more fat calories – not only when you're exercising, but also when you're at rest. By strategically working out in zones 2, 3 and 4, you can increase your mitochondrial count, build lean muscle mass and increase your metabolic rate, resulting in fat burning that extends hours beyond your workout.
Breaking Through Running 30 minutes at the same pace every day is great for general health, but over time, this type of repetitive workout is likely to lead to a fitness – and weight-loss – plateau. Heart-rate training helps you cleverly avoid this trap by empowering you to work out at an appropriate and constantly varying level of challenge – one that your unwanted fat can't possibly ignore.
by Sheila Mulrooney Eldred is a Minneapolis-based freelance writer.
It's not fair, you say: You're eating right and you're working out for hours every week, yet your unwanted fat is barely fazed – in fact, it's just plain ignoring you. What gives?
Well, it could be that you haven't yet trained your body to burn fat efficiently. Or it could be that you've adapted to your current program and, as a result, you're burning fewer calories than you were a few months ago.
Either way, stalled weight loss can be frustrating, but here's the good news: Using strategic heart-rate training, you can drop those stubborn pounds. Heart-rate training is a personalized form of cardiovascular training that serves more than weight-loss goals. It establishes optimal exercise intensities – or zones – based on your unique metabolism, heart rate, current level of fitness, and health or fitness goals. By strategically working out within these parameters, you encourage your cardiorespiratory system to become stronger and more efficient. This leads to improved athletic performance and a tendency for your body to use stored fat rather than its circulating and stored sugar (glucose and glycogen) for energetic fuel.
The bottom line? Regardless of why you undertake heart-rate training, you'll probably wind up burning more fat, more easily. And if you're trying to lose weight, that's probably especially sweet music to your ears.
Gauge Your Intensity Whether you run, swim or do step aerobics, you can use your heart rate to personalize your weight-loss program. The idea is to train at the right intensity for the right amount of time.
All you need is a heart-rate monitor or a keen sense of your exertion levels. This approach removes some of the traditional focus on "per-session caloric burn" and instead places it squarely on metabolic fitness. "Heart-rate training changes your physiological structure," says Kevin Steele, PhD, vice president of research and development at Life Time Fitness. "The goal is to improve cardiorespiratory strength, increase lean body mass and elevate metabolism in the process."You'll first need to determine your anaerobic threshold (AT), the heart rate at which your body transitions from burning primarily fat to using primarily carbohydrates (sugars) for energy. When your body kicks into sugar-burning gear, lactic acid begins to accumulate in the bloodstream faster than you can use it. While this intensity produces a high rate of caloric burn and significant fitness gains, it's difficult to maintain for long. Happily, you don't have to. By simply cycling your intensity up and down (interval training) so that your heart rate repeatedly approaches, crosses and then drops below your AT, you can achieve dramatic fat-burning results, both during exercise and while you're going about your daily business. Find Your Happy Place You can calculate your AT by taking a Metabolic Assessment Profile (MAP) test at your health club, or you can get a general sense of it by referencing the heart-rate-training chart at lifetimefitness.com/heart_rate.
The heart-rate training zones are based on your individual AT and form the backbone of your weight-loss program.
Zone 1.
Use this warm-up and active recovery zone to begin and end your workout, and when you're fatigued, sore or overtrained. Your heart rate is 60 to 70 percent of your AT, and you generally burn more fat calories than carbohydrates.
Zone 2.
In the aerobic development zone (70 to 90 percent of your AT), you build your aerobic base and efficiency, which improves your overall conditioning and endurance. In this zone, you are typically still burning more calories from fat than carbohydrates.
Zone 3.
Just below or at your AT (90 to 100 percent), the aerobic endurance zone is where your body begins to use an equal combination of fat and carbs as a fuel source and creates a higher caloric burn rate. This "hard" zone challenges your cardiovascular system and results in improved endurance and cardio efficiency.
Zone 4.
The anaerobic endurance zone (100 to 110 percent of AT) raises your AT and increases your tolerance to lactic acid, training the body to reuse it as an energy source. In this zone, your body primarily uses carbs for energy.
Zone 5.
In this zone – the most difficult of all – you pour on effort and intensity for short intervals that challenge your body to reach its full athletic potential. Carbs are nearly the sole fuel source. This level of exertion is extremely difficult to maintain for more than a few minutes (or for the untrained, seconds).
If your primary goal is weight loss, you can apply heart-rate training to your program by initially spending a significant portion of your workout in zones 2 and 3, which help you develop a solid aerobic base. Concentrating your efforts there allows you to exercise harder and longer while burning fat as the primary source of energy.
Once you've developed an aerobic base, you'll begin to exercise at intensities closer to your AT (the boundary which separates zones 3 and 4). You'll burn a greater number of calories, but more important, you'll teach your body how to shift between the aerobic and anaerobic energy systems, building your metabolic rate and encouraging your body to burn fat at increasing levels of intensity, thus improving your exercise endurance. (You'll recognize that you've built a solid aerobic base when you can spend time doing cardio exercise without experiencing the high fatigue level you felt when you first started the program.)
From Stalled to Stellar Caroline Connor, of Shelby Township, Mich., had just about given up on trying to lose weight when she learned about heart-rate training. Connor's fitness had stalled so much that she started to wonder if her body was actually immune to exercise. As a last resort, she decided to give Life Time Fitness's O2 heart-rate-training program a try. Twice a week with a trainer, Connor did group workouts based on her unique AT, exercising primarily in zones 1, 2 and 3. She also did similar workouts on her own twice a week. By the end of the six-week program, the 48-year-old nurse had dropped her body fat from 20 to 18 percent, and lowered her four-mile running time by more than four minutes.
Most people embarking on a heart-rate-training program for the first time see changes in as little as three to four weeks – provided they exercise three to four times per week in the zones appropriate for their current level of fitness.
The following changes will be evident in both your cardiovascular and musculature systems: Cardio. By introducing training stimuli, the heart becomes more efficient at working above its resting heart rate.
Translation: It becomes easier to work out harder for longer – thus you burn more calories with greater ease, and in less time. Your resting heart rate also decreases, meaning your heart is capable of pumping the same amount of blood with fewer beats. Ultimately, your cardiac output and efficiency improve.
The key to metabolic-training success, says Steele, is consistency and variety. Working in different zones helps boost your overall fitness level, increasing the range in which your body uses fat for fuel. It also helps maximize the number of calories you burn postworkout and encourages your body to store carbs as quicker-burning glycogen instead of fat. Musculature. Mitochondria, often referred to as "cellular power plants," are responsible for burning fat. Regular exercise increases the number of mitochondria in your cells. Thus, increasing mitochondria through exercise helps you burn more fat calories – not only when you're exercising, but also when you're at rest. By strategically working out in zones 2, 3 and 4, you can increase your mitochondrial count, build lean muscle mass and increase your metabolic rate, resulting in fat burning that extends hours beyond your workout.
Breaking Through Running 30 minutes at the same pace every day is great for general health, but over time, this type of repetitive workout is likely to lead to a fitness – and weight-loss – plateau. Heart-rate training helps you cleverly avoid this trap by empowering you to work out at an appropriate and constantly varying level of challenge – one that your unwanted fat can't possibly ignore.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Great Story!
This is a great story. Not sure if it's true, but that doesn't really matter. What matters is the message and it doesn't get any better than this. Please read carefully and feel free to share with family and friends! Enjoy!!
"I arrived at the address where someone had requested a taxi. I honked but no one came out. I honked again, nothing. So I walked to the door and knocked. 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.
After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, and then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated'.. 'Oh, you're such a good boy', she said.
When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, 'Could you drive through downtown?' 'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly. 'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice'. I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued. 'The doctor says I don't have very long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. 'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.
For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighbourhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing. As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired. Let's go now' We drove in silence to the address she had given me.
It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair. 'How much do I owe you?' she asked, reaching into her purse. 'Nothing,' I said 'You have to make a living,' she answered. 'There are other passengers,' I responded.
Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly. 'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said. 'Thank you.' I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light.
Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life. I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk.
What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?
On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.
We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.
But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID, BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.
You won't get any big surprise in 10 days if you send this to ten people. But, you might help make the world a little kinder and more compassionate by sending it on.
Thank you, my friend... Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance".
"I arrived at the address where someone had requested a taxi. I honked but no one came out. I honked again, nothing. So I walked to the door and knocked. 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.
After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, and then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated'.. 'Oh, you're such a good boy', she said.
When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, 'Could you drive through downtown?' 'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly. 'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice'. I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued. 'The doctor says I don't have very long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. 'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.
For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighbourhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing. As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired. Let's go now' We drove in silence to the address she had given me.
It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair. 'How much do I owe you?' she asked, reaching into her purse. 'Nothing,' I said 'You have to make a living,' she answered. 'There are other passengers,' I responded.
Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly. 'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said. 'Thank you.' I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light.
Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life. I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk.
What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?
On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.
We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.
But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID, BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.
You won't get any big surprise in 10 days if you send this to ten people. But, you might help make the world a little kinder and more compassionate by sending it on.
Thank you, my friend... Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance".
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
10 Principles of Motivation
by Nido R. Qubein
One of the questions I hear most often from executives is "How do I motivate my employees to do the things I want them to do?"
The answer is: You don't!
We can't motivate people. They are already motivated. But we can determine what motivates them and use this knowledge to channel their energies toward our company goals.
From my 20 years of helping executives solve their people challenges, I've learned a few basic principles about motivation.
Let me share them with you:
ALL PEOPLE ARE MOTIVATED.
Some people are like water in a faucet. They have the motivation; all you have to provide is the opportunity. The water is already motivated to flow. But it doesn't have the opportunity until you open the tap. Others are like mountain streams, which flow swiftly but follow their own channels. People, too, may move energetically, but toward their own goals. We in management should make it worth their while to channel their motivations toward the results management is seeking.
PEOPLE DO THINGS FOR THEIR REASONS; NOT FOR YOURS OR MINE.
We in management have to show employees what's in it for them when they follow behaviors that benefit the company. We can show them by using rewards and recognition, appealing to their sense of pride and achievement.
PEOPLE CHANGE BECAUSE OF PAIN.
When the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing, people will change. For example, Americans didn't start buying smaller, fuel-efficient automobiles until the pain of high gasoline prices became greater than the pain of switching to less roomy and less powerful cars.
THE KEY TO EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IS IDENTIFICATION.
When something becomes personal, it becomes important. When our clients or our employees begin to identify with who we are and what we are, good things begin to happen. Large corporations have discovered that. Prudential, for example, knows that its customers want to buy security. So it doesn't just sell insurance; it markets peace of mind by inviting all of us to buy "a piece of the rock." Kodak doesn't sell film; it invites its customers to "trust your memories to Kodak." AT&T doesn't tell us to make long-distance calls. It asks us to "reach out and touch someone." In dealing with employees, it isn't enough to appeal to them on the basis of loyalty to the company. They need personal reasons for showing this loyalty. Whether we're instituting a new educational program or undergoing a total restructuring, we can get our employees on board more readily if we show them how the change will affect them for the better. When my company sets out to lead corporate teams in developing their human-relations skills, we don't tell them what we're going to do for the company. We talk about what we're going to do for the individual. For example, in the introduction to one of our manuals, we tell supervisors: We've designed this complete educational system to help YOU master the skills of supervisory management and enjoy the rewards of leadership and career enhancement. From management's standpoint, the training was designed to increase the effectiveness of the organization. That's what sold the company on the program. But from the employee's standpoint, it was to upgrade the skills of the individual. That's what sold the employees on the program.
THE BEST WAY TO GET PEOPLE TO PAY ATTENTIONTO YOU IS TO PAY ATTENTION TO THEM.
That means listening to others and not just hearing them. Listening is active; hearing is passive. If you listen to individuals long enough, they'll tell you what their concerns and problems are. It's very important that executives listen to their staff and associates. We need to take the time to get to know them, not just by name, but also by their interests and aspirations. We should try not to come across as interrogators, but ask them friendly questions about how they are, what they did over the week-end, and what they're doing on vacation. Then listen. It's amazing what you'll learn.
PRIDE IS A POWERFUL MOTIVATOR.
Everybody is proud of something. If we find out what makes our people proud, we can use that insight to channel their motivation. Pride is tied closely to self-esteem. My friend, Robert W. Darvin, has founded several successful companies, including Scandinavian Design, Inc., and has often used our consulting services and invited me to speak to his people. His observations on self-esteem are worth repeating: There's only one thing that counts in a business: building the self-esteem of your employees. Nothing else matters, because what they feel about themselves is what they give to your customers. If an employee comes to work not liking his job, not feeling good about himself, you can be sure that your customers will go away not liking or feeling good about your company.
YOU CAN'T CHANGE PEOPLE; YOU CAN ONLYCHANGE THEIR BEHAVIORS.
To change behavior, you must change feelings and beliefs. This requires more than training. It requires education. When you train people, you just try to teach them a task; when you educate people you deal with them at a deeper level relative to behavior, feelings and beliefs.
THE EMPLOYEE'S PERCEPTION BECOMES THE EXECUTIVE'S REALITY.
This is a very important point. When we speak to employees, they don't respond to what we say; they respond to what they understand us to say. When employees observe our behavior, they respond to what they perceive us doing, and will try to emulate us. Suppose you send an employee to a developmental workshop or seminar and she comes back brimming with new ideas and information. But you haven't been exposed to all this stimulating stuff, so your behavior doesn't change. The employee realizes this and concludes that the behavior she observes in you is the behavior you want. This may not be the case at all. You may want the employee to implement all these new ideas, but your employee's perception is the reality you get.
YOU CONSISTENTLY GET THE BEHAVIORS YOU CONSISTENTLY EXPECT AND REINFORCE.
We should look for ways to reward employees for doing the things we want them to do. The reward may take the form of financial incentives, prizes, or simply public recognition of a job well done. Reinforcement can be positive or negative, as my Roundtable partner, Ken Blanchard, has taught us all. If employees learn that a certain type of behavior results in lower earnings, less favorable hours or less desirable territories, they'll adjust their behavioral patterns.
WE ALL JUDGE OURSELVES BY OUR MOTIVES;BUT WE JUDGE OTHERS BY THEIR ACTIONS.
Put another way, we're inclined to excuse in ourselves behavior that we find unacceptable in others. When our employees are late for work, it's because they're irresponsible and have no interest in their jobs. When we're late for work, it's because we were attending to necessary details that had to be taken care of. When employees engage in undesirable behavior, we shouldn't try to assess motives or change them. Just deal with the behavior. We can't change the motives of our employees, but through positive or negative reinforcement you can affect their actions. Follow these principles and you'll find yourself surrounded by motivated employees who are channeling their energies toward your corporate goals -- goals in which they have personal stakes.
One of the questions I hear most often from executives is "How do I motivate my employees to do the things I want them to do?"
The answer is: You don't!
We can't motivate people. They are already motivated. But we can determine what motivates them and use this knowledge to channel their energies toward our company goals.
From my 20 years of helping executives solve their people challenges, I've learned a few basic principles about motivation.
Let me share them with you:
ALL PEOPLE ARE MOTIVATED.
Some people are like water in a faucet. They have the motivation; all you have to provide is the opportunity. The water is already motivated to flow. But it doesn't have the opportunity until you open the tap. Others are like mountain streams, which flow swiftly but follow their own channels. People, too, may move energetically, but toward their own goals. We in management should make it worth their while to channel their motivations toward the results management is seeking.
PEOPLE DO THINGS FOR THEIR REASONS; NOT FOR YOURS OR MINE.
We in management have to show employees what's in it for them when they follow behaviors that benefit the company. We can show them by using rewards and recognition, appealing to their sense of pride and achievement.
PEOPLE CHANGE BECAUSE OF PAIN.
When the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing, people will change. For example, Americans didn't start buying smaller, fuel-efficient automobiles until the pain of high gasoline prices became greater than the pain of switching to less roomy and less powerful cars.
THE KEY TO EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IS IDENTIFICATION.
When something becomes personal, it becomes important. When our clients or our employees begin to identify with who we are and what we are, good things begin to happen. Large corporations have discovered that. Prudential, for example, knows that its customers want to buy security. So it doesn't just sell insurance; it markets peace of mind by inviting all of us to buy "a piece of the rock." Kodak doesn't sell film; it invites its customers to "trust your memories to Kodak." AT&T doesn't tell us to make long-distance calls. It asks us to "reach out and touch someone." In dealing with employees, it isn't enough to appeal to them on the basis of loyalty to the company. They need personal reasons for showing this loyalty. Whether we're instituting a new educational program or undergoing a total restructuring, we can get our employees on board more readily if we show them how the change will affect them for the better. When my company sets out to lead corporate teams in developing their human-relations skills, we don't tell them what we're going to do for the company. We talk about what we're going to do for the individual. For example, in the introduction to one of our manuals, we tell supervisors: We've designed this complete educational system to help YOU master the skills of supervisory management and enjoy the rewards of leadership and career enhancement. From management's standpoint, the training was designed to increase the effectiveness of the organization. That's what sold the company on the program. But from the employee's standpoint, it was to upgrade the skills of the individual. That's what sold the employees on the program.
THE BEST WAY TO GET PEOPLE TO PAY ATTENTIONTO YOU IS TO PAY ATTENTION TO THEM.
That means listening to others and not just hearing them. Listening is active; hearing is passive. If you listen to individuals long enough, they'll tell you what their concerns and problems are. It's very important that executives listen to their staff and associates. We need to take the time to get to know them, not just by name, but also by their interests and aspirations. We should try not to come across as interrogators, but ask them friendly questions about how they are, what they did over the week-end, and what they're doing on vacation. Then listen. It's amazing what you'll learn.
PRIDE IS A POWERFUL MOTIVATOR.
Everybody is proud of something. If we find out what makes our people proud, we can use that insight to channel their motivation. Pride is tied closely to self-esteem. My friend, Robert W. Darvin, has founded several successful companies, including Scandinavian Design, Inc., and has often used our consulting services and invited me to speak to his people. His observations on self-esteem are worth repeating: There's only one thing that counts in a business: building the self-esteem of your employees. Nothing else matters, because what they feel about themselves is what they give to your customers. If an employee comes to work not liking his job, not feeling good about himself, you can be sure that your customers will go away not liking or feeling good about your company.
YOU CAN'T CHANGE PEOPLE; YOU CAN ONLYCHANGE THEIR BEHAVIORS.
To change behavior, you must change feelings and beliefs. This requires more than training. It requires education. When you train people, you just try to teach them a task; when you educate people you deal with them at a deeper level relative to behavior, feelings and beliefs.
THE EMPLOYEE'S PERCEPTION BECOMES THE EXECUTIVE'S REALITY.
This is a very important point. When we speak to employees, they don't respond to what we say; they respond to what they understand us to say. When employees observe our behavior, they respond to what they perceive us doing, and will try to emulate us. Suppose you send an employee to a developmental workshop or seminar and she comes back brimming with new ideas and information. But you haven't been exposed to all this stimulating stuff, so your behavior doesn't change. The employee realizes this and concludes that the behavior she observes in you is the behavior you want. This may not be the case at all. You may want the employee to implement all these new ideas, but your employee's perception is the reality you get.
YOU CONSISTENTLY GET THE BEHAVIORS YOU CONSISTENTLY EXPECT AND REINFORCE.
We should look for ways to reward employees for doing the things we want them to do. The reward may take the form of financial incentives, prizes, or simply public recognition of a job well done. Reinforcement can be positive or negative, as my Roundtable partner, Ken Blanchard, has taught us all. If employees learn that a certain type of behavior results in lower earnings, less favorable hours or less desirable territories, they'll adjust their behavioral patterns.
WE ALL JUDGE OURSELVES BY OUR MOTIVES;BUT WE JUDGE OTHERS BY THEIR ACTIONS.
Put another way, we're inclined to excuse in ourselves behavior that we find unacceptable in others. When our employees are late for work, it's because they're irresponsible and have no interest in their jobs. When we're late for work, it's because we were attending to necessary details that had to be taken care of. When employees engage in undesirable behavior, we shouldn't try to assess motives or change them. Just deal with the behavior. We can't change the motives of our employees, but through positive or negative reinforcement you can affect their actions. Follow these principles and you'll find yourself surrounded by motivated employees who are channeling their energies toward your corporate goals -- goals in which they have personal stakes.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Secrets of Big Losers; How to Keep the Pounds Off
I have always struggled with my weight and therefore have an ongoing interest in weight control. There is some much out there on this subject that you have to do lots of reading to get to the heart/truth of the matter. This is a great artcile that I thought you guys would all enjoy! Stay healthy!
By Jay Dixit, PsychologyToday.com
There's no question that losing weight is hard and keeping it off even harder. But it's not impossible. The National Weight Control Registry lists thousands of people who have lost more than 50 pounds and kept it off more than five years. Here's how to do the same.
Make radical changes.
People think moderate dietary changes are easier to stick with. But as with quitting drug addiction, drastic changes are actually easier. "We don't tell heroin addicts if you stay clean all week, you can reward yourself by shooting up a small amount on the weekend," says Deirdre Barrett, a psychologist at Harvard Medical School and author of Waistland. "Sugar derails glucose metabolism in a similar way." She advises cutting out sugars, refined foods, simple carbohydrates, and trans fats.
Reprogram your brain.
Losing weight means developing new eating habits—like reaching for an orange instead of an Oreo. The hardest part is the first 72 hours, when eating right is an act of will. After two or three weeks of sticking to it, your hunger and cravings subside, and control over eating choices becomes more automatic. Voilà , your brain is rewired.
Eat breakfast.
Without breakfast, your body plunges into starvation mode, slowing your metabolism and tempting you to binge later. Over 78 percent of the registry's successful losers eat breakfast every day.
Exercise like you mean it.
An evening walk every other day isn't going to cut it. Ninety percent of registry participants exercised—for a full hour, on average, most days of the week.
Stretch your mind.
Stop living on autopilot. A study shows that people who push their comfort zones and try new things—like reading a different magazine or listening to a new radio station—lose weight and keep it off. Breaking out of your routine may make you more aware of your choices in general, and less likely to engage in mindless eating.
By Jay Dixit, PsychologyToday.com
There's no question that losing weight is hard and keeping it off even harder. But it's not impossible. The National Weight Control Registry lists thousands of people who have lost more than 50 pounds and kept it off more than five years. Here's how to do the same.
Make radical changes.
People think moderate dietary changes are easier to stick with. But as with quitting drug addiction, drastic changes are actually easier. "We don't tell heroin addicts if you stay clean all week, you can reward yourself by shooting up a small amount on the weekend," says Deirdre Barrett, a psychologist at Harvard Medical School and author of Waistland. "Sugar derails glucose metabolism in a similar way." She advises cutting out sugars, refined foods, simple carbohydrates, and trans fats.
Reprogram your brain.
Losing weight means developing new eating habits—like reaching for an orange instead of an Oreo. The hardest part is the first 72 hours, when eating right is an act of will. After two or three weeks of sticking to it, your hunger and cravings subside, and control over eating choices becomes more automatic. Voilà , your brain is rewired.
Eat breakfast.
Without breakfast, your body plunges into starvation mode, slowing your metabolism and tempting you to binge later. Over 78 percent of the registry's successful losers eat breakfast every day.
Exercise like you mean it.
An evening walk every other day isn't going to cut it. Ninety percent of registry participants exercised—for a full hour, on average, most days of the week.
Stretch your mind.
Stop living on autopilot. A study shows that people who push their comfort zones and try new things—like reading a different magazine or listening to a new radio station—lose weight and keep it off. Breaking out of your routine may make you more aware of your choices in general, and less likely to engage in mindless eating.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Observing Successful People!
We know this to be true, yet we don't seem to follow through with this concept. In all my readings on successful people this comes up time and time again. It's time to find the person you would most want to be like and "observe" their ways and actions!!
Chris Widener
I thought about my subscribers on Saturday night and realized that you can learn a lot from observation. Simple, right? Let me explain.
A good friend of mine bought, virtually on a whim, a new, nearly $3,000,000 home. I didn’t even know he had purchased it. They were “keeping it a secret.” Then he invited me over to play pool, billiards if you will, which we do quite regularly. But, of course he had to give me the new address.
It was stunning: 16 acres. 7500 square feet. Beautiful custom woodwork. Tens of thousands of square feet of outbuildings, including horse barns (though he is going to raise Yaks – don’t ask me why) and what is to become the new indoor basketball court. An indoor pool rounded out the best of the offerings. And, of course there was the billiards room. As we were going through the house I kept thinking, this would fit into most people’s dreams… including many of my subscribers.
And that got me to thinking. I really needed to step back a bit and look at my friend again. I mean, I know him too well. We play basketball together. We play pool together (He beats me at pool, I beat him at basketball). We have shared some of the very highest points of life and some of the lowest. We have laughed together and we have fought with each other.
But what is it that makes him tick and be able to become so successful financially? I had never thought about that before. As I did, I realized that you can learn a lot from observing successful people… if you do it.
A little about my friend: 40 years old. Runs 1/5th of one of America’s most well-known companies (you may even use them today). Married. 6 children.
But here is what I realize when I look at what makes him so successful:
Intense. One thing my friend is, is intense. Whatever it is that he is working on or doing, he puts every ounce of energy into it. It is all or nothing. This keeps him going when it gets hard.
Focused. Similar to intense, or perhaps going with it, is that my friend is extremely focused. When he sets his mind to something, he gets his eyes on it like a laser beam. This helps him achieve it.
Strategic. He “begins with the end in mind.” He tells me frequently that the day you start a company is the day you plan on selling it. Whether you agree with that or not, it does indicate that he is thinking well down the road, which is a lesson we could all learn. This helps him keep his mind on the big picture.
Hard working. My friend puts in long hours. In today’s get-rich-quick-without-much-work mentality it is easy to forget that most fortunes are made by plain old long hours. And most people just aren’t willing to do it. If I want to get a hold of my friend between 6 am and 6 pm, I call the office, because that’s where he’ll be. Just as a side note, he knows how to relax too: He just got back from a three week bicycling trip through Europe with his whole family, ending with a seven day cruise through the Mediterranean.
Competitive. When my friend gets in the game, he wants to win. He doesn’t play to lose or tie. He goes all out, within the rules as well as the spirit of the rules, and he doesn’t let up until the game is over. If he wins or if he loses, he is gracious. Well, okay, most of the time he’s gracious. Sometimes he rubs it in a little bit when he beats me!
Risk-taker. One of my favorite stories about my friend is how he went to his boss at his company and told them they should begin to develop a certain product because they would need it in a year or two. The boss told him it wasn’t in the cards. So my friend quit his job and went and started a company that produced that product. Guess who bought the company from him shortly thereafter for many, many dollars? Yep, his old company, where he now runs a huge part of the company.
Fun. When it comes right down to it, my friend is a lot of fun. He is never boring – that’s for sure. He and his family have 25 bikes and use them regularly and competitively. He loves sports and plays them well. He laughs, even when he loses. That helps him keep perspective and enjoy life.
My friend isn’t perfect. No, I have seen not only his best, but also his worst. He is, like the rest of us, making his way through life the best he can as a person who is not perfect. But he does have quite a few things down pat that you and I could learn from, lessons that would make us more successful in life and work.
So let me ask you:
Are you intense? Are you focused? Are you strategic? Are you hard working? Are you competitive? Are you risk taking? Are you fun?
These are the characteristics of successful people; people who achieve great things in this life and make a difference for their families and others as well.
Chris Widener
I thought about my subscribers on Saturday night and realized that you can learn a lot from observation. Simple, right? Let me explain.
A good friend of mine bought, virtually on a whim, a new, nearly $3,000,000 home. I didn’t even know he had purchased it. They were “keeping it a secret.” Then he invited me over to play pool, billiards if you will, which we do quite regularly. But, of course he had to give me the new address.
It was stunning: 16 acres. 7500 square feet. Beautiful custom woodwork. Tens of thousands of square feet of outbuildings, including horse barns (though he is going to raise Yaks – don’t ask me why) and what is to become the new indoor basketball court. An indoor pool rounded out the best of the offerings. And, of course there was the billiards room. As we were going through the house I kept thinking, this would fit into most people’s dreams… including many of my subscribers.
And that got me to thinking. I really needed to step back a bit and look at my friend again. I mean, I know him too well. We play basketball together. We play pool together (He beats me at pool, I beat him at basketball). We have shared some of the very highest points of life and some of the lowest. We have laughed together and we have fought with each other.
But what is it that makes him tick and be able to become so successful financially? I had never thought about that before. As I did, I realized that you can learn a lot from observing successful people… if you do it.
A little about my friend: 40 years old. Runs 1/5th of one of America’s most well-known companies (you may even use them today). Married. 6 children.
But here is what I realize when I look at what makes him so successful:
Intense. One thing my friend is, is intense. Whatever it is that he is working on or doing, he puts every ounce of energy into it. It is all or nothing. This keeps him going when it gets hard.
Focused. Similar to intense, or perhaps going with it, is that my friend is extremely focused. When he sets his mind to something, he gets his eyes on it like a laser beam. This helps him achieve it.
Strategic. He “begins with the end in mind.” He tells me frequently that the day you start a company is the day you plan on selling it. Whether you agree with that or not, it does indicate that he is thinking well down the road, which is a lesson we could all learn. This helps him keep his mind on the big picture.
Hard working. My friend puts in long hours. In today’s get-rich-quick-without-much-work mentality it is easy to forget that most fortunes are made by plain old long hours. And most people just aren’t willing to do it. If I want to get a hold of my friend between 6 am and 6 pm, I call the office, because that’s where he’ll be. Just as a side note, he knows how to relax too: He just got back from a three week bicycling trip through Europe with his whole family, ending with a seven day cruise through the Mediterranean.
Competitive. When my friend gets in the game, he wants to win. He doesn’t play to lose or tie. He goes all out, within the rules as well as the spirit of the rules, and he doesn’t let up until the game is over. If he wins or if he loses, he is gracious. Well, okay, most of the time he’s gracious. Sometimes he rubs it in a little bit when he beats me!
Risk-taker. One of my favorite stories about my friend is how he went to his boss at his company and told them they should begin to develop a certain product because they would need it in a year or two. The boss told him it wasn’t in the cards. So my friend quit his job and went and started a company that produced that product. Guess who bought the company from him shortly thereafter for many, many dollars? Yep, his old company, where he now runs a huge part of the company.
Fun. When it comes right down to it, my friend is a lot of fun. He is never boring – that’s for sure. He and his family have 25 bikes and use them regularly and competitively. He loves sports and plays them well. He laughs, even when he loses. That helps him keep perspective and enjoy life.
My friend isn’t perfect. No, I have seen not only his best, but also his worst. He is, like the rest of us, making his way through life the best he can as a person who is not perfect. But he does have quite a few things down pat that you and I could learn from, lessons that would make us more successful in life and work.
So let me ask you:
Are you intense? Are you focused? Are you strategic? Are you hard working? Are you competitive? Are you risk taking? Are you fun?
These are the characteristics of successful people; people who achieve great things in this life and make a difference for their families and others as well.
10 Things I Wish I Had Known Before I Went Into the Real World!
So how come no one told me about this before I went into the Real World!! - comment by MGL - Great article by Chris - very well done!
by Chris Widener
I must confess, I laughed when I saw that Maria Shriver has come out with a book called, “Ten Things I Wish I Had Known Before Going Into The Real World.” The real world? Come on, she grew up a Kennedy and married the biggest action movie star of all time! That aside, it got me to thinking: What are ten things I wish I would have known before going out into the real world? So, here they are…
1. Life isn’t fair. You know, your mother always told you this but as kids we never believe it. We think that somehow mom was two tacos short of a combo plate and that eventually we will go into the real world and show her how those who work hard and do right always do come out on top. Then after about five years we become disenchanted and start to smell the coffee. Life isn’t fair! Why didn’t anybody tell me that? I guess they did, didn’t they? Unfortunately, sometimes the bad guys wins. Sometimes people die early. We shouldn’t take this lightly, but we must be realists. While we accept what comes our way, we still strive to work hard, dream big, and do right.
2. People play favorites. It is true that it isn’t what you know but who you know that counts. This is because people play favorites. Sometimes it doesn’t matter that you are the best person or have the lowest bid. People will regularly cut deals with people they like or who can scratch their back in return. I guess the lesson to learn is that while we strive to achieve much and have excellent skills, we should also develop a strong network of healthy relationships.
3. People will let you down. Being a person who does what he says can be a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing because I am able to look at myself in the mirror each day. It is a curse because if you are like that, you will most likely expect that from others and yet they will regularly let you down. People can be bad at keeping their word or doing what is right. I could have relieved a lot of emotional stress if I would have known this one before getting out into the real world.
4. Not everybody wants to grow personally. I just assumed that everybody loved to learn and to grow. I thought everybody wanted to get better at what they did. The reality is, however, that most people do not. That is why there is something that we call “average.” Most people want to stay where they are. That is why they do. Those who strive to go forward will always be cutting against the grain and will often be resented, even if quietly, for it.
5. The stock market goes down sometimes. Some of you older folks knew this. But us young whippersnappers, we have been riding it high on the hog for a while. This is good in a sense, but unless you have some common sense of how financial markets work, you can get quite a shock from time to time. You see, before you get into the real world, everything gets handed to you and you really don’t have to work for much. Then you do and you think that every investment will turn out grand – whoops!
6. The older you get, the harder it is to lose weight. I was always a little “pudgy.” Nothing big, just not like the cover guys of Men’s Health Magazine (You know, the ones that say “Six-pack abs in 20 minutes a day.” I think that means they only eat twenty minutes a day, and it is usually stewed vegetables! But I digress…). If I would have known better, I would have worked harder when I was younger to keep the weight off so I wouldn’t have to work that much harder now!
7. Marriage is work. A good marriage is more work. When you are young you think, “I’ll find the girl of my dreams and we’ll live happily ever after.” Well, hello! You forget that your spouse is human and you are too, most of the time! To live under the same roof with someone and to work out likes and dislikes, personalities, and schedules, not to mention life goals and the like is HARD WORK! Not drudgery, just work. Yes, there will be plenty of bliss and joy, but marriage will make you work for it!
8. It takes longer to get out of debt than to get into it. I have never really had much debt. I did take out student loans to pay for school and wow, do they take a long time to get out of. Fortunately I have them paid off but for a while there, it was one of the big checks we wrote every month. Many people think credit cards are great because they can have what they want when they want it. Too bad they don’t realize that twenty minutes of shopping ecstasy will result in months or years of payments.
9. It doesn’t work to try to please others. I have always wanted people to like me. Many times, I wanted them to like me too much. That isn’t good. This doesn’t work because I realized that most of the time, people liking or disliking you has nothing to do whatsoever with rational thought. Some people will dislike you, no matter how well you have done, and others will love you, warts and all. So I do my best and let the chips fall where they may – now.
10. You need to tend to your spiritual, emotional, and physical health or you will crash hard. If you don’t take time for yourself, both inwardly and outwardly, your body will catch up with you. You can take time for yourself by choice or not. It is much more fun by choice! Life is hard and it can and will weigh you down. We need to tend the fires of spirit and mind while keeping our physical bodies tuned for success as well. If not, our bodies break down.
Bonus: In spite of the above, life is very much worth it! Some of the above may seem like bummers. They aren’t the “positive” things we like to focus on, but they are true. Being positive doesn’t mean sticking your head in the ground in order to avoid the negative of life. What it means is that we are realists who understand the negative aspects of life and choose to be optimists instead. We deal with the negative and pursue the positive. That is why I can say that life is worth living no matter how expensive or painful the lessons I have had to learn have been. Life is good and I can make it better!
So I had to learn some lessons AFTER I got into the real world. So what? At least I learned them and can live the rest of my life to the fullest from now on! I hope you can too!
by Chris Widener
I must confess, I laughed when I saw that Maria Shriver has come out with a book called, “Ten Things I Wish I Had Known Before Going Into The Real World.” The real world? Come on, she grew up a Kennedy and married the biggest action movie star of all time! That aside, it got me to thinking: What are ten things I wish I would have known before going out into the real world? So, here they are…
1. Life isn’t fair. You know, your mother always told you this but as kids we never believe it. We think that somehow mom was two tacos short of a combo plate and that eventually we will go into the real world and show her how those who work hard and do right always do come out on top. Then after about five years we become disenchanted and start to smell the coffee. Life isn’t fair! Why didn’t anybody tell me that? I guess they did, didn’t they? Unfortunately, sometimes the bad guys wins. Sometimes people die early. We shouldn’t take this lightly, but we must be realists. While we accept what comes our way, we still strive to work hard, dream big, and do right.
2. People play favorites. It is true that it isn’t what you know but who you know that counts. This is because people play favorites. Sometimes it doesn’t matter that you are the best person or have the lowest bid. People will regularly cut deals with people they like or who can scratch their back in return. I guess the lesson to learn is that while we strive to achieve much and have excellent skills, we should also develop a strong network of healthy relationships.
3. People will let you down. Being a person who does what he says can be a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing because I am able to look at myself in the mirror each day. It is a curse because if you are like that, you will most likely expect that from others and yet they will regularly let you down. People can be bad at keeping their word or doing what is right. I could have relieved a lot of emotional stress if I would have known this one before getting out into the real world.
4. Not everybody wants to grow personally. I just assumed that everybody loved to learn and to grow. I thought everybody wanted to get better at what they did. The reality is, however, that most people do not. That is why there is something that we call “average.” Most people want to stay where they are. That is why they do. Those who strive to go forward will always be cutting against the grain and will often be resented, even if quietly, for it.
5. The stock market goes down sometimes. Some of you older folks knew this. But us young whippersnappers, we have been riding it high on the hog for a while. This is good in a sense, but unless you have some common sense of how financial markets work, you can get quite a shock from time to time. You see, before you get into the real world, everything gets handed to you and you really don’t have to work for much. Then you do and you think that every investment will turn out grand – whoops!
6. The older you get, the harder it is to lose weight. I was always a little “pudgy.” Nothing big, just not like the cover guys of Men’s Health Magazine (You know, the ones that say “Six-pack abs in 20 minutes a day.” I think that means they only eat twenty minutes a day, and it is usually stewed vegetables! But I digress…). If I would have known better, I would have worked harder when I was younger to keep the weight off so I wouldn’t have to work that much harder now!
7. Marriage is work. A good marriage is more work. When you are young you think, “I’ll find the girl of my dreams and we’ll live happily ever after.” Well, hello! You forget that your spouse is human and you are too, most of the time! To live under the same roof with someone and to work out likes and dislikes, personalities, and schedules, not to mention life goals and the like is HARD WORK! Not drudgery, just work. Yes, there will be plenty of bliss and joy, but marriage will make you work for it!
8. It takes longer to get out of debt than to get into it. I have never really had much debt. I did take out student loans to pay for school and wow, do they take a long time to get out of. Fortunately I have them paid off but for a while there, it was one of the big checks we wrote every month. Many people think credit cards are great because they can have what they want when they want it. Too bad they don’t realize that twenty minutes of shopping ecstasy will result in months or years of payments.
9. It doesn’t work to try to please others. I have always wanted people to like me. Many times, I wanted them to like me too much. That isn’t good. This doesn’t work because I realized that most of the time, people liking or disliking you has nothing to do whatsoever with rational thought. Some people will dislike you, no matter how well you have done, and others will love you, warts and all. So I do my best and let the chips fall where they may – now.
10. You need to tend to your spiritual, emotional, and physical health or you will crash hard. If you don’t take time for yourself, both inwardly and outwardly, your body will catch up with you. You can take time for yourself by choice or not. It is much more fun by choice! Life is hard and it can and will weigh you down. We need to tend the fires of spirit and mind while keeping our physical bodies tuned for success as well. If not, our bodies break down.
Bonus: In spite of the above, life is very much worth it! Some of the above may seem like bummers. They aren’t the “positive” things we like to focus on, but they are true. Being positive doesn’t mean sticking your head in the ground in order to avoid the negative of life. What it means is that we are realists who understand the negative aspects of life and choose to be optimists instead. We deal with the negative and pursue the positive. That is why I can say that life is worth living no matter how expensive or painful the lessons I have had to learn have been. Life is good and I can make it better!
So I had to learn some lessons AFTER I got into the real world. So what? At least I learned them and can live the rest of my life to the fullest from now on! I hope you can too!
Friday, August 29, 2008
Changes Begins With Choice
by Jim Rohn
Any day we wish; we can discipline ourselves to change it all. Any day we wish; we can open the book that will open our mind to new knowledge. Any day we wish; we can start a new activity. Any day we wish; we can start the process of life change.
We can do it immediately, or next week, or next month, or next year.
We can also do nothing. We can pretend rather than perform. And if the idea of having to change ourselves makes us uncomfortable, we can remain as we are. We can choose rest over labor, entertainment over education, delusion over truth, and doubt over confidence. The choices are ours to make. But while we curse the effect, we continue to nourish the cause. As Shakespeare uniquely observed, "The fault is not in the stars, but in ourselves." We created our circumstances by our past choices. We have both the ability and the responsibility to make better choices beginning today.
Those who are in search of the good life do not need more answers or more time to think things over to reach better conclusions. They need the truth. They need the whole truth. And they need nothing but the truth.
We cannot allow our errors in judgment, repeated every day, to lead us down the wrong path. We must keep coming back to those basics that make the biggest difference in how our life works out. And then we must make the very choices that will bring life, happiness and joy into our daily lives.
And if I may be so bold to offer my last piece of advice for someone seeking and needing to make changes in their life - If you don't like how things are, change it! You're not a tree. You have the ability to totally transform every area in your life - and it all begins with your very own power of choice.
Any day we wish; we can discipline ourselves to change it all. Any day we wish; we can open the book that will open our mind to new knowledge. Any day we wish; we can start a new activity. Any day we wish; we can start the process of life change.
We can do it immediately, or next week, or next month, or next year.
We can also do nothing. We can pretend rather than perform. And if the idea of having to change ourselves makes us uncomfortable, we can remain as we are. We can choose rest over labor, entertainment over education, delusion over truth, and doubt over confidence. The choices are ours to make. But while we curse the effect, we continue to nourish the cause. As Shakespeare uniquely observed, "The fault is not in the stars, but in ourselves." We created our circumstances by our past choices. We have both the ability and the responsibility to make better choices beginning today.
Those who are in search of the good life do not need more answers or more time to think things over to reach better conclusions. They need the truth. They need the whole truth. And they need nothing but the truth.
We cannot allow our errors in judgment, repeated every day, to lead us down the wrong path. We must keep coming back to those basics that make the biggest difference in how our life works out. And then we must make the very choices that will bring life, happiness and joy into our daily lives.
And if I may be so bold to offer my last piece of advice for someone seeking and needing to make changes in their life - If you don't like how things are, change it! You're not a tree. You have the ability to totally transform every area in your life - and it all begins with your very own power of choice.
Staying in Touch
By Larry D. Schultz
This is a great little story about staying in touch with friends. I hope you get a chance to read this and stay in touch with us!
My usual routine on a Sunday morning is to go for bicycle ride. Today I wanted to do something different so I stopped at the cemetery where my grandparents are buried. I rode only a mile to where their headstone is and cleaned it up a little and reflected. I have only one memory from each of my grandparents that stands out. I remember my grandfather walking me to the corner store one morning for bread. He let me carry the money we were going to spend, and I even got to hand it to the clerk. My grandmother would often be found on the couch with her eyes closed as if she were sleeping. I asked one day why she always had her eyes closed, her response was that she was resting them. Nothing profound about either memory, but I am glad I have them.
As I continued around the cemetery I noticed small groups of people scattered throughout staring at the grave markers at their feet. I would imagine they too were reflecting.
One man bid me good morning as I rode by, so I stopped to wish him a good morning as well. He replied, 'yes it is a wonderful morning'. With that enthusiastic answer I felt an invitation to talk.
"Sir, I noticed you on the hill up the road, now you are down here. Can I ask you what you are doing?"
"Sure." He replied, as if he had something to tell me. "I come here every Sunday to visit my wife up on the hill, then I come down here to visit my life-long buddy. We were in three wars together you know." We talked for about 30 minutes, then I asked him. "John, (we exchanged names) what advice would you have to give people as we all grow old?"
"Well, Larry, we don't always have control over our health, or even our wealth. But we have control of keeping in touch with our friends. So, I say stay in touch. Whether you're sick or poor, healthy or wealthy, you can always stay in touch."
My eyes began to swell with tears as I looked at this old man and knew he was ri g ht. We talked a little longer then wished each other a good day, we shook hands and left.
My early morning bicycle ride made an impression on me today. I hope you got something out of this as well.
This is a great little story about staying in touch with friends. I hope you get a chance to read this and stay in touch with us!
My usual routine on a Sunday morning is to go for bicycle ride. Today I wanted to do something different so I stopped at the cemetery where my grandparents are buried. I rode only a mile to where their headstone is and cleaned it up a little and reflected. I have only one memory from each of my grandparents that stands out. I remember my grandfather walking me to the corner store one morning for bread. He let me carry the money we were going to spend, and I even got to hand it to the clerk. My grandmother would often be found on the couch with her eyes closed as if she were sleeping. I asked one day why she always had her eyes closed, her response was that she was resting them. Nothing profound about either memory, but I am glad I have them.
As I continued around the cemetery I noticed small groups of people scattered throughout staring at the grave markers at their feet. I would imagine they too were reflecting.
One man bid me good morning as I rode by, so I stopped to wish him a good morning as well. He replied, 'yes it is a wonderful morning'. With that enthusiastic answer I felt an invitation to talk.
"Sir, I noticed you on the hill up the road, now you are down here. Can I ask you what you are doing?"
"Sure." He replied, as if he had something to tell me. "I come here every Sunday to visit my wife up on the hill, then I come down here to visit my life-long buddy. We were in three wars together you know." We talked for about 30 minutes, then I asked him. "John, (we exchanged names) what advice would you have to give people as we all grow old?"
"Well, Larry, we don't always have control over our health, or even our wealth. But we have control of keeping in touch with our friends. So, I say stay in touch. Whether you're sick or poor, healthy or wealthy, you can always stay in touch."
My eyes began to swell with tears as I looked at this old man and knew he was ri g ht. We talked a little longer then wished each other a good day, we shook hands and left.
My early morning bicycle ride made an impression on me today. I hope you got something out of this as well.
Embracing Adversity
Embracing Adversity by Chris Widener
“Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I’ll show you someone who has overcome adversity.” Lou Holtz
Success in life depends upon being strong people with clear goals and indomitable spirits. Unfortunately most of us aren’t born that way. We grow that way. And that growth can either come from us entering willfully into situations that will cause us to grow, like subscribing to Made for Success, or from the way we react when circumstances come upon us without our consent. The latter is what we call adversity.
Most of us spend our lives trying to avoid adversity, and I guess that is just as well. We shouldn’t pursue adversity, but when she arrives, we should welcome her as a foe who, though our interaction with her, will make us into better people. Every contact we have with adversity gives us again the opportunity to grow personally and professionally and to forge our character into one that will achieve much later on.
With that in mind, here are some thoughts on adversity, and how it can help you to succeed in every area of your life and achieve your dreams.
Adversity brings out our resources.
Horace said “Adversity reveals genius, prosperity conceals it.” When everything is going well, we coast. There isn’t a lot of stress, and we don’t have to draw too much on the resources that reside within us. But when adversity comes we begin to draw upon each and every resource that we have in order to conquer the circumstances at hand. Adversity then, keeps us sharp. It keeps us using our personal muscle, if you will. That is a good thing because we grow through the use of our resources.
Adversity brings us together with others.
Sure a team can have their problems with each other, but when they step on the court, when they experience the adversity of facing another obstacle, they pull together. One for all and all for one, as they say. The next time you experience adversity of some kind, keep your eyes open for how it can bring you together with your family, your co-workers or your team. Then when you are through it, you will find a bond that was created that wasn’t there before. Adversity makes us better people with stronger characters. Never underestimate the power of adversity to shape us inwardly. How will courage, discipline and perseverance ever flourish if we are never tested? After adversity, we come out stronger people and able then to use our character and influence in an even greater way to lead those around us and to improve their lives as well as our own.
Adversity makes life interesting.
John Amatt said, “Without adversity, without change, life is boring.” How true. Have you noticed that while we are in the middle of adversity we only long to get out of it, but we then spend a lifetime recounting it to anyone who will listen? This is because it spices life up a little. Imagine how boring life would be if everything always went well, when there was never a mountain to be climbed.
Here are some questions for you to reflect upon before I close:
Q. If you are in the middle of some adversity right now, what resources are you drawing on? Who are you drawing closer to and working with? What part of your character is being tested, and built up? What can you do to view this adversity as one who will be better for it on the other side?
"Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit." – Napoleon Hill
“Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I’ll show you someone who has overcome adversity.” Lou Holtz
Success in life depends upon being strong people with clear goals and indomitable spirits. Unfortunately most of us aren’t born that way. We grow that way. And that growth can either come from us entering willfully into situations that will cause us to grow, like subscribing to Made for Success, or from the way we react when circumstances come upon us without our consent. The latter is what we call adversity.
Most of us spend our lives trying to avoid adversity, and I guess that is just as well. We shouldn’t pursue adversity, but when she arrives, we should welcome her as a foe who, though our interaction with her, will make us into better people. Every contact we have with adversity gives us again the opportunity to grow personally and professionally and to forge our character into one that will achieve much later on.
With that in mind, here are some thoughts on adversity, and how it can help you to succeed in every area of your life and achieve your dreams.
Adversity brings out our resources.
Horace said “Adversity reveals genius, prosperity conceals it.” When everything is going well, we coast. There isn’t a lot of stress, and we don’t have to draw too much on the resources that reside within us. But when adversity comes we begin to draw upon each and every resource that we have in order to conquer the circumstances at hand. Adversity then, keeps us sharp. It keeps us using our personal muscle, if you will. That is a good thing because we grow through the use of our resources.
Adversity brings us together with others.
Sure a team can have their problems with each other, but when they step on the court, when they experience the adversity of facing another obstacle, they pull together. One for all and all for one, as they say. The next time you experience adversity of some kind, keep your eyes open for how it can bring you together with your family, your co-workers or your team. Then when you are through it, you will find a bond that was created that wasn’t there before. Adversity makes us better people with stronger characters. Never underestimate the power of adversity to shape us inwardly. How will courage, discipline and perseverance ever flourish if we are never tested? After adversity, we come out stronger people and able then to use our character and influence in an even greater way to lead those around us and to improve their lives as well as our own.
Adversity makes life interesting.
John Amatt said, “Without adversity, without change, life is boring.” How true. Have you noticed that while we are in the middle of adversity we only long to get out of it, but we then spend a lifetime recounting it to anyone who will listen? This is because it spices life up a little. Imagine how boring life would be if everything always went well, when there was never a mountain to be climbed.
Here are some questions for you to reflect upon before I close:
Q. If you are in the middle of some adversity right now, what resources are you drawing on? Who are you drawing closer to and working with? What part of your character is being tested, and built up? What can you do to view this adversity as one who will be better for it on the other side?
"Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit." – Napoleon Hill
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
The 10 Most Common Traits of SUCCESSFUL People
1. How you think is everything. Always be positive. Think success, not failure. Beware of a negative environment.
2. Decide upon your true dreams and goals. Write down your specific goals and develop a plan to reach them.
3. Take action. Don't be afraid to get started, just do it.
4. Never stop learning. Go back to school or read books.
5. Be persistent and work hard. Success is a marathon, not a sprint. Never give up.
6. Learn to analyze details. Get all the facts, all the input you can. Learn from your mistakes.
7. Focus your time and money. Don't let other people or things distract you.
8. Don't be afraid to innovate. Be different. Following the herd is a sure way to mediocrity.
9. Deal and communicate with people effectively. No person is an island. Learn to understand and motivate others. Be Fair!
10. Be honest and dependable. Take responsibility. Otherwise, 1-9 won't matter.
2. Decide upon your true dreams and goals. Write down your specific goals and develop a plan to reach them.
3. Take action. Don't be afraid to get started, just do it.
4. Never stop learning. Go back to school or read books.
5. Be persistent and work hard. Success is a marathon, not a sprint. Never give up.
6. Learn to analyze details. Get all the facts, all the input you can. Learn from your mistakes.
7. Focus your time and money. Don't let other people or things distract you.
8. Don't be afraid to innovate. Be different. Following the herd is a sure way to mediocrity.
9. Deal and communicate with people effectively. No person is an island. Learn to understand and motivate others. Be Fair!
10. Be honest and dependable. Take responsibility. Otherwise, 1-9 won't matter.
Top 6 Ways to Stay MOTIVATED
Great Article by Chris Widener! Enjoy the read and take action - MGL!
I receive many emails from people that basically ask the same question: How can I keep myself motivated long term?
This seems to be quite a common dilemma for many people so I want to address it because it can be done!
Here are my tips for staying motivated:
Get motivated every day.
Zig Ziglar was once confronted about being a “motivational speaker.” The guy said to him, “You guys come and get people hyped up and then you leave and the motivation goes away. It doesn’t last, and then you have to get motivated again.” Zig reminded the gentleman that baths are the same way but we think it is a good idea to take a bath every day! It is true that motivation doesn’t last. We have to renew it each and every day. That is okay. It doesn’t make motivation a bad thing. We simply have to realize that if we want to stay motivated over the long term, it is something we will have to apply to ourselves each and every day.
Have a vision for your life.
The root word of motivation is “motive.” The definition of motive is, “A reason to act.” This is the cognitive or rational side of motivation. It is your vision. You have to have a vision that is big enough to motivate you. If you are making $50,000 a year, it isn’t going to motivate you to set your goal at $52,000 a year. You just won’t get motivated for that because the reward isn’t enough. Maybe $70,000 a year would work for you. Set out a vision and a strategy for getting there. Have a plan and work the plan.
Fuel your passion.
Much of motivation is emotional. I don’t know quite how it works but I do know THAT it works. Emotion is a powerful force in getting us going. Passion is an emotion, so fuel your passion. “Well, I like to work on logic,” you may say. Great, now work on your passion. Set yourself on a course to have a consuming desire for your goal, whatever it is. Do whatever you can to feel the emotion and use it to your advantage!
Work hard enough to get results.
You can build on your motivation by getting results. The harder you work, the more results you will get and the more results you get, the more you will be motivated to get more. These things all build on one another. If you want to lose weight, then lose the first few pounds. When the belt moves to the next notch you will get fired up to get it to the notch beyond that!
Put good materials into your mind.
I can’t say this enough – listen to tapes. I still listen to tapes regularly. I buy tape clubs from other speakers and I learn and grow. Their successes motivate me to get my own successes! Read good books. Read books that teach you new ideas and skills. Read books that tell the stories of successful people. Buy them, read them, and get motivated! Buy great music and listen to it. I just did a spinning class at the club today. Whenever a good song came on I was actually able to get motivated to ride faster! It gets you going and motivates you!
Ride the momentum when it comes.
Sometimes you will just be clicking and sometimes you won’t. That is okay. It is the cycle of life. When you aren’t clicking, plug away. When you are clicking, pour it on because momentum will help you get larger gains in a shorter period of time with less energy. That is the Momentum Equation! When you are feeling good about how your work is going, ride the momentum and get as much out of it as you can!
These are the top six ways to stay motivated:
Get motivated every day.
Have a vision for your life.
Fuel your passion.
Work hard enough to get results.
Put good materials into your mind.
Ride the momentum when it comes.
These are simple principles, that when you put them to work regularly, will change your life by keeping you motivated all the time! Get going!
I receive many emails from people that basically ask the same question: How can I keep myself motivated long term?
This seems to be quite a common dilemma for many people so I want to address it because it can be done!
Here are my tips for staying motivated:
Get motivated every day.
Zig Ziglar was once confronted about being a “motivational speaker.” The guy said to him, “You guys come and get people hyped up and then you leave and the motivation goes away. It doesn’t last, and then you have to get motivated again.” Zig reminded the gentleman that baths are the same way but we think it is a good idea to take a bath every day! It is true that motivation doesn’t last. We have to renew it each and every day. That is okay. It doesn’t make motivation a bad thing. We simply have to realize that if we want to stay motivated over the long term, it is something we will have to apply to ourselves each and every day.
Have a vision for your life.
The root word of motivation is “motive.” The definition of motive is, “A reason to act.” This is the cognitive or rational side of motivation. It is your vision. You have to have a vision that is big enough to motivate you. If you are making $50,000 a year, it isn’t going to motivate you to set your goal at $52,000 a year. You just won’t get motivated for that because the reward isn’t enough. Maybe $70,000 a year would work for you. Set out a vision and a strategy for getting there. Have a plan and work the plan.
Fuel your passion.
Much of motivation is emotional. I don’t know quite how it works but I do know THAT it works. Emotion is a powerful force in getting us going. Passion is an emotion, so fuel your passion. “Well, I like to work on logic,” you may say. Great, now work on your passion. Set yourself on a course to have a consuming desire for your goal, whatever it is. Do whatever you can to feel the emotion and use it to your advantage!
Work hard enough to get results.
You can build on your motivation by getting results. The harder you work, the more results you will get and the more results you get, the more you will be motivated to get more. These things all build on one another. If you want to lose weight, then lose the first few pounds. When the belt moves to the next notch you will get fired up to get it to the notch beyond that!
Put good materials into your mind.
I can’t say this enough – listen to tapes. I still listen to tapes regularly. I buy tape clubs from other speakers and I learn and grow. Their successes motivate me to get my own successes! Read good books. Read books that teach you new ideas and skills. Read books that tell the stories of successful people. Buy them, read them, and get motivated! Buy great music and listen to it. I just did a spinning class at the club today. Whenever a good song came on I was actually able to get motivated to ride faster! It gets you going and motivates you!
Ride the momentum when it comes.
Sometimes you will just be clicking and sometimes you won’t. That is okay. It is the cycle of life. When you aren’t clicking, plug away. When you are clicking, pour it on because momentum will help you get larger gains in a shorter period of time with less energy. That is the Momentum Equation! When you are feeling good about how your work is going, ride the momentum and get as much out of it as you can!
These are the top six ways to stay motivated:
Get motivated every day.
Have a vision for your life.
Fuel your passion.
Work hard enough to get results.
Put good materials into your mind.
Ride the momentum when it comes.
These are simple principles, that when you put them to work regularly, will change your life by keeping you motivated all the time! Get going!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Three-peating wasn't enough for Oerter
This is a story that I first heard from Stewart Banner when I was at Holiday Inn. Unfortunately, Al died last year at the age of 71. In his later years he was an accomplished artist.
by Ron Flatter, ESPN.com
Fortune Gordien. "Rink" Babka. Ludvik Danek. Jay Silvester. Between 1956 and 1968, they were supposed to win discus gold medals in the Olympics. Al Oerter overcame all of them.
Perhaps more impressive, Oerter overcame his own body telling him to stop. Instead, he won four consecutive gold medals, making him the first athlete to four-peat in any Olympic event.
Oerter's flair for the dramatic may not have been intentional. After all, who would want to go into the Olympics with rib trouble, a pulled thigh muscle or even an injury that required the wearing of a neck brace? Oerter won despite all these handicaps, twice on his last throw.
Then again, Oerter always set his goals high. After winning his first gold medal in 1956, the 20-year-old brashly vowed: "I'm not going to quit until I win five gold medals."
Alfred Oerter Jr. was born on Aug. 19, 1936, in Astoria, N.Y., to parents of German and Czech extraction. Growing up in New Hyde Park, Oerter showed he was a special athlete when he threw the lighter discus used in high school 184 feet, 2 inches, a national prep record at the time.
Oerter continued to make a national name for himself by setting an NCAA record early in his career at the University of Kansas. Still, he had never won a major international competition when he went to his first Olympics in Melbourne as a college sophomore in 1956.
Ranked only sixth in the world, Oerter unleashed a throw of 184-10 1/2, an Olympic record and a personal best, on his first toss in the finals. Everything else in the competition was academic, since no one came within five feet of that mark. Not even Gordien, the world-record holder. Oerter finished with the three best throws.
Less than a year later, Oerter's hopes for future gold or future anything almost ended in a near-fatal auto accident. But he recovered fully and was back in shape before long. While he made the 1960 Olympic team, he found himself in the shadow of another world-record holder -- American teammate Richard "Rink" Babka, who beat him at the Olympic Trials. That was Oerter's first defeat in more than two years.
Although he had one practice throw before the qualifying round that went beyond the world-record marker of 196-6, Oerter appeared headed for defeat when they started firing for real in the Rome Games. Headed into the last round of the finals, Babka led Oerter by 15 inches, 190-4 to 189-1. That lead might have held up had Babka not given Oerter some advice. Studying his teammate's technique, Babka noticed Oerter's left arm was out of position before he threw.
Oerter heeded Babka's suggestion, adjusted his windup and threw the discus 194-2 for another Olympic record and personal best. He thanked Babka and wished him luck on his last throw, but Babka's attempt came up short. Oerter had his second gold medal.
He did not set a world record until May 18, 1962, when his 200-5 mark in Los Angeles made him the first athlete to throw the discus more than 200 feet. He set three more world bests -- 204-10 1/2 later in 1962 at Chicago, 205-5 in 1963 at Walnut, Cal., and 206-6 again at Walnut in 1964, the year he and Vladimir Trusenyov of the Soviet Union traded the record back and forth over a 27-day period.
Six days before Oerter would compete in the 1964 Games in Tokyo, he suffered torn cartilage in his lower ribcage while practicing. Doctors advised him to wait six weeks before competing in order to avoid the risk of internal bleeding. But he ignored the medical warning. Danek, a Czechoslovakian who had won 45 consecutive meets, inherited the favorite's role when Oerter showed up for the Games covered with ice packs and bandages and shot full of pain killers. In the preliminary round, he set an Olympic round with a throw of 198-8. Before the competition, Oerter said, "If I don't do it on the first throw, I won't be able to do it at all." In the finals, Oerter was unable to make good on his own prediction when he didn't "do it" on the first throw. He was in third place going into his fifth throw, behind Danek and David Weill. Laboring and spinning more slowly than he had on his first four tries, Oerter somehow uncorked a throw of 200-1, two feet better than his previous best that day and, again, an Olympic record. Danek would wind up waiting eight more years for his gold medal.
With only one strong season in the next four years, Oerter was an underdog again when he went to the 1968 Games in Mexico City. Silvester finished first at the U.S. Olympic Trials and held the world record at 224-5. In the qualifying round, Silvester broke Oerter's Olympic record with a throw of 207-10, several inches better than Oerter's top heave. But Silvester was dogged by Oerter's mere presence, saying: "When you throw against Oerter, you don't expect to win. You just hope." Again, Oerter appeared in no shape to compete, let alone win. He had a pulled thigh muscle, and he wore a neck brace because of a chronic disc problem. Rain the day of the finals didn't help, either. After a bad throw and a foul, Oerter threw away the brace, as he put it, "to worry the opposition." On his next throw, Oerter set his fourth Olympic record -- 212-6. He beat both the competition and his previous personal best by more than five feet. He finished with the three best throws, adding tosses of 212-5 and 210-1. Silvester came in a disappointing fifth, at 202-8.
Oerter retired to family life after 1969. But by 1976, he was divorced, and his two daughters had grown up. At age 39, he plotted his comeback. In 1980, at age 43, he came up with a 227-10 1/2 throw, a personal best that made him a legitimate international challenger again. That was as close as Oerter would come to his "five gold medals." Finishing fourth at the national trials, he was an alternate on the 1980 U.S. team that boycotted the Moscow Olympics. A strained Achilles tendon prevented him from competing in the 1984 Olympic Trials at age 47.
Less than a year before, Oerter had a throw of 222-9, a mark that would have won him gold if he had been able to duplicate it at the Games in Los Angeles.
After serving as a computer specialist for Grumman Aircraft Corporation for 26 years, Oerter later worked for Reebok. Recently, he has split his time living on Long Island in the summer and Florida in the winter.
He has been inducted into the Olympic and U.S. Track and Field Halls of Fame. Reflecting on his four Olympic victories, the self-described "terrible technician" of discus said: "The first would be the most surprising, the second the most difficult, the third the most painful, the fourth the most satisfying."
The 3 Requisites
by Robert Collier from The Book of Life
Sometime today or tomorrow or next month, in practically every commercial office /sports team in the US, an important executive/coach will sit back in his or her chair and study a list of names on a sheet of white paper.
Your name may be on it.
A position of responsibility is open and they are face to face with the old, old problem - "Where can I find the right person?"
The faces, the words, the work, the impressions of various people will pass through their mind in quick review. What is the first question they will ask concerning each?
"Which person is strongest on initiative, which one can best assume responsibility?"
Other things being equal, that is the person who will get the job. For the first requisite in business/sport, as in social life is confidence in yourself - knowledge of your power and “god given” talents.
Given that, the second is easy - initiative or the courage to start things. Lots of people have ideas, but few have the confidence in themselves or the courage to start anything.
With belief and initiative, the third requisite follows almost as a matter of course - the faith to go ahead and do things in the face of all obstacles.
"Oh, God," said Leonardo da Vinci, "you sell us everything for the price of an effort."
Certainly no one had a better chance to know than he. An illegitimate son, brought up in the family of his father, the misfortune of his birth made him the source of constant derision. He had to do something to lift himself far above the crowd. And he did. "For the price of an effort" he became the greatest artist in Italy - probably the greatest in the world - in a day when Italy was famous for her artists. Kings and princes felt honored at being associated with this illegitimate boy. He made the name he had no right to, famous for his work alone.
"Work out your own salvation," said Paul. And the first requisite in working it out is a knowledge of your power. All the ages behind you have bequeathed you stores of abilities which you are allowing to lie latent. Those abilities are stored up in your sub-conscious mind. Call upon them. Use them. As Whittier put it - "All the good the past has had remains to make our own time glad."
Sometime today or tomorrow or next month, in practically every commercial office /sports team in the US, an important executive/coach will sit back in his or her chair and study a list of names on a sheet of white paper.
Your name may be on it.
A position of responsibility is open and they are face to face with the old, old problem - "Where can I find the right person?"
The faces, the words, the work, the impressions of various people will pass through their mind in quick review. What is the first question they will ask concerning each?
"Which person is strongest on initiative, which one can best assume responsibility?"
Other things being equal, that is the person who will get the job. For the first requisite in business/sport, as in social life is confidence in yourself - knowledge of your power and “god given” talents.
Given that, the second is easy - initiative or the courage to start things. Lots of people have ideas, but few have the confidence in themselves or the courage to start anything.
With belief and initiative, the third requisite follows almost as a matter of course - the faith to go ahead and do things in the face of all obstacles.
"Oh, God," said Leonardo da Vinci, "you sell us everything for the price of an effort."
Certainly no one had a better chance to know than he. An illegitimate son, brought up in the family of his father, the misfortune of his birth made him the source of constant derision. He had to do something to lift himself far above the crowd. And he did. "For the price of an effort" he became the greatest artist in Italy - probably the greatest in the world - in a day when Italy was famous for her artists. Kings and princes felt honored at being associated with this illegitimate boy. He made the name he had no right to, famous for his work alone.
"Work out your own salvation," said Paul. And the first requisite in working it out is a knowledge of your power. All the ages behind you have bequeathed you stores of abilities which you are allowing to lie latent. Those abilities are stored up in your sub-conscious mind. Call upon them. Use them. As Whittier put it - "All the good the past has had remains to make our own time glad."
Great Quote!!
by Ralph Waldo Emerson, 1803-1882, Poet and Essayist
"Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires...courage."
"Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires...courage."
Believe and Succeed
by Bob Proctor
You will agree, I am sure, that all thinking people have a sincere desire to succeed.
You want to win; I want to win. No one sets out to deliberately destroy themselves - although I must admit, at times it certainly appears as if some people do.
If everyone wants to win - why don't they? There are probably many answers to that question. After talking with hundreds of people who do not seem to be able to make it happen, I have come to the conclusion that the answer to success is locked up in a seven letter word - "Believe."
Losers do not believe they can win. Why don't they believe? I think there is an answer to that question and I'll get to it in a moment. If you are having difficulty making something big happen in your life, listen closely.
All the great religious leaders, philosophers and self-help gurus have told us to believe and succeed. "All things are possible for those who believe." William James said, "Believe and your belief will create the fact." I have found that our belief system is based on our evaluation of something. Frequently when we re-evaluate a situation our belief about that situation will change.
Half of my life was wasted. I never even tried to accomplish anything of any importance because I did not believe in myself. The truth was I knew very little about me. Many years ago I was encouraged to begin studying myself, re-evaluate myself. I began to gain an understanding of my marvelous mind. Every day I learned a little more and I suddenly began to believe in myself.
Today I have a number of companies around the world earning millions of dollars. We have a very successful year long coaching program... We teach people the laws of their mind. Long before the year's program is over we see marvelous things happen from more money to great loving relationships.
Re-evaluate yourself. There is a sleeping giant in you. Release it.
Believe in yourself.
You will agree, I am sure, that all thinking people have a sincere desire to succeed.
You want to win; I want to win. No one sets out to deliberately destroy themselves - although I must admit, at times it certainly appears as if some people do.
If everyone wants to win - why don't they? There are probably many answers to that question. After talking with hundreds of people who do not seem to be able to make it happen, I have come to the conclusion that the answer to success is locked up in a seven letter word - "Believe."
Losers do not believe they can win. Why don't they believe? I think there is an answer to that question and I'll get to it in a moment. If you are having difficulty making something big happen in your life, listen closely.
All the great religious leaders, philosophers and self-help gurus have told us to believe and succeed. "All things are possible for those who believe." William James said, "Believe and your belief will create the fact." I have found that our belief system is based on our evaluation of something. Frequently when we re-evaluate a situation our belief about that situation will change.
Half of my life was wasted. I never even tried to accomplish anything of any importance because I did not believe in myself. The truth was I knew very little about me. Many years ago I was encouraged to begin studying myself, re-evaluate myself. I began to gain an understanding of my marvelous mind. Every day I learned a little more and I suddenly began to believe in myself.
Today I have a number of companies around the world earning millions of dollars. We have a very successful year long coaching program... We teach people the laws of their mind. Long before the year's program is over we see marvelous things happen from more money to great loving relationships.
Re-evaluate yourself. There is a sleeping giant in you. Release it.
Believe in yourself.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
“How to be a Champion”
You wonder how they do it,
You look to see their knack
You watch the foot in action,
Or the shoulder or the back.
But when you spot the answer
Where the higher glamours lurk,
You’ll find in moving higher
Up the laurel-covered spire,
That most of it is practice,
All the rest of it is work!
By Grantland Rice
You look to see their knack
You watch the foot in action,
Or the shoulder or the back.
But when you spot the answer
Where the higher glamours lurk,
You’ll find in moving higher
Up the laurel-covered spire,
That most of it is practice,
All the rest of it is work!
By Grantland Rice
FRIENDS by the great Bobby Jones
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For all my real FRIENDS!! Enjoy!!
"Friends are a man’s priceless treasures, and a life rich in friendship is full indeed. When I say, with due regard for the meaning of the word, that I am your friend, I have pledged to you the ultimate in loyalty and devotion. In some respects friendship may even transcend love, for in true friendship there is no place for jealousy. When I say that you are my friends, it is possible that I am imposing upon you a greater burden than you are willing to assume. But when you have made me aware on many occasions that you have a kindly feeling toward me, and when you have honored me by every means at your command, then when I call you friend, I am at once affirming my high regard and affection for you and declaring my complete faith in you and trust in the sincerity of your expressions."
"Friends are a man’s priceless treasures, and a life rich in friendship is full indeed. When I say, with due regard for the meaning of the word, that I am your friend, I have pledged to you the ultimate in loyalty and devotion. In some respects friendship may even transcend love, for in true friendship there is no place for jealousy. When I say that you are my friends, it is possible that I am imposing upon you a greater burden than you are willing to assume. But when you have made me aware on many occasions that you have a kindly feeling toward me, and when you have honored me by every means at your command, then when I call you friend, I am at once affirming my high regard and affection for you and declaring my complete faith in you and trust in the sincerity of your expressions."
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Work Ethic!
Raising a Team Player: Teaching Kids Lasting Values on the Field, on the Court and on the Bench
by Harry Sheehy, Danny Peary
Youth sports have become a pressure cooker of expectations. Parents scream abuse at players, coaches, and referees. Coaches demand that their teams win, at any cost. Kids practice day and night. They face intense pressure to score, to win, to succeed. But is this the measure of success we want to impress upon our children?
In the complex world of today's youth athletic programs, parents face many challenging questions. What is a successful athletic experience? How can you help kids deal with pressure from coaches, players, and other parents? How do you encourage healthy competitiveness and discourage poor sportsmanship? Can you help your child develop a strong work ethic without becoming discouraged at the slow progress? How do you support a child who sits on the bench all year long? What's the best way to encourage your strong-willed all-star to support his teammates? How do you teach a child to accept criticism positively? Most important, how do you help your child absorb real core values from sports? How can you use sports as a vehicle to talk to kids about life's challenges?
In Raising a Team Player, Harry Sheehy answers these questions and more. Offering lessons and wisdom learned from more than seventeen years of working with elementary school children, high schoolers, and college players, Sheehy encourages parents to get involved in their kids' athletic experiences. He offers advice on how to praise, encourage, inspire, build, temper, support, and teach, working with children on everything from setting goals to teaching sportsmanship and humility to building character and a sense of self-worth. With direct, compelling words, Sheehy inspires in parents and coaches an attitude of self-realization, humor, confidence, and enthusiasm for both the successes and mistakes of young athletes.
My greatest joy as a coach was to teach kids who had so much passion for their sport that they were willing to work hard to get better. When I was recruiting high school seniors for my basketball team at Williams College, those were the kids I coveted. Quite often, beaming parents would come in with their sons and declare, "He loves basketball." But then I'd spend time with their boys and realize that they didn't love it at all. Mom and Dad may have seen Junior walking out the door with a basketball and assumed that he was working hard at the playground to improve his game. But he might have been the type to spend the day launching 25-foot hook shots and lazily walking after the ball. Or, if he had a baseball and a bat, he might have been interested only in seeing if he could reach the fences, swing after swing.
It's easy to mistake activity for passion. Anyone can participate in an activity, but without passion, a kid will not be motivated to work hard to become a better individual and team player. As a coach, I didn't want to recruit eighteen-year-olds whose parents or previous coaches hadn't already nurtured in them a passion for basketball and a work ethic to support it. I could enforce the rules of practice and make such players work hard, but would they have seen the inherent value of that work and adopted work ethic as one of their core values? By that age, it's usually too late. We develop our sense of character at a very young age, using the adults in our lives as models and mentors. If we don't learn a particular lesson when we're young, it's very difficult to learn it when we are older. That's why it's so important to start teaching values such as work ethic through youth athletic programs, while the kids are still young. Lessons learned early last a lifetime.
Most girls and boys in youth, high school, and college sports understand that it's the coach's job to inspire them, but they don't understand that inspiration is a two-way street. They don't realize that we coaches - just like teachers - put out our best effort when our kids work hard enough to inspire us. What my best teams at Williams had in common was that they worked so hard to get better that I couldn't wait to get down to the gym each afternoon to teach them. Those young men, none of whom were there on an athletic scholarship, gave me an incredible effort every day, while also carrying full course loads and, with my encouragement, having active social lives. Because they inspired me, I'd often stay up past midnight studying film for them. And if any of them wanted to work on rebounding, shooting, or defense after practice, I made myself available.
I told my players, "Guys, I want you to work so hard that you feel in your heart that you deserve to win." That's deserve to win, not will win. You can't promise a kid that he'll always succeed if he works hard, but you can promise him that if he doesn't work hard, he will almost certainly fail. My challenge was to get my players to understand the need to work hard every day, not just on game day.
I have always believed that games are won at practice. Each of our twenty-four games was like an exam. How well had we learned the lessons undertaken in practice over the previous days? We "studied" such topics as "How Our Offense Can Solve a Zone Defense" and "What Makes a Man-to-Man Pressure Defense Effective." I drilled and drilled my players, because I would accept nothing less than for them to play hard on every possession. Many times we were victorious because our team was more fit than the opposition; we simply wore them out. Such success helped me sell this message: A work ethic is the foundation on which you build the goals that you equate with success. Every worthwhile accomplishment, in sports and in life, is made possible by a strong work ethic.
I am living proof that a strong work ethic can produce good results. After all, I'd been a young boy with no discernible talents but a willingness to work hard, and I went on to play varsity basketball at Williams and then to play for years with Athletes-in-Action, one of the top amateur teams in the world. When anyone asks how I became so adamant about the value of a work ethic, I say, "Let me tell you about my friend Brian."
Brian and I grew up together on Long Island. By the sixth grade, he was already 6'2" and brawny, and - no kidding - with a heavy beard at five o'clock. I was just under 5', slight, and definitely without a beard. We both loved basketball and played for our school's team. I was small and not very good, and when the game started, my job was to walk over to the corner of the gym and keep score on a chalkboard. Brian was so big that he overpowered everyone, and he was the star of the team. I went to practice every day and worked hard, but I didn't play more than two minutes in a game all year long. But I was fortunate. My father, Harry Sheehy Jr., who had played and coached both basketball and baseball, continued to encourage me. So rather than quitting, as many youngsters are apt to do when they aren't supported by coaches or parents, I went to work that summer to improve my game.
I asked my father to devise a workout plan for me. Then every day, without exception, I walked the twenty blocks to a small park that had hoops and worked hard on my game for a couple of hours. Meanwhile, my good friend Brian went to the beach. Every day.
In the fall, Brian and I both made the seventh grade team. Brian was still bigger and stronger than everyone else and was the best scorer and rebounder in the entire league. I went to practice every day and worked hard, but I still sat on the bench, despite having made some improvements. That next summer, and the following summer, too, I continued my workout plan at the park, and Brian continued to go to the beach. When it was 90 degrees and muggy and I was working, working, working, I thought of Brian at the beach, enjoying the sun and the sand, and I was envious.
I vividly recall the scorching day when my father came down to see how I was doing. It was about three o'clock in the afternoon, and the blacktop court was radiating heat. I just wanted to put down my ball and go to the pool or even join Brian at the beach. When my father was ready to leave, I said, "Dad, hold on. I'll take five more shots and go home with you." But that didn't sit well with him, and he gave me some advice he'd heard from Bill Bradley, who was then a Princeton basketball star and would someday become a United States senator: "Why don't you work ten more minutes," my father said, in a tone that made it clear his words were less a question than an order. "When Bradley was ready to quit his workouts, he always continued for ten more minutes because someone, somewhere else, had stopped. He figured that if he worked ten minutes extra every day, he'd win the contest between them if they ever competed." Dad's words made sense, and from that day on, first as a player and then as a coach, I always have said at the end of a day: "When you're ready to quit, work just ten more minutes. Work ten more minutes because someone, somewhere else, is quitting."
Ten minutes may not sound like much, but multiply ten minutes by hundreds of practices. How much progress could you make if you worked just that much more? I believe those ten extra minutes that summer paid dividends, because that fall I made the freshman team at Garden City High School. I was still small - I tipped the scales at a mere 90 pounds and didn't crack the 5-foot barrier until halfway through ninth grade - but I could see my skills were improving, the result of countless hours spent on the court. Brian was still the star, but I actually got to play a little. And a lot of the other guys were starting to catch up with Brian physically.
By the tenth grade, I had grown a little, and my skills had started to sharpen to the point where I made the varsity team. Brian stayed on the junior varsity team. In the eleventh grade, we both made the varsity team, but I was a starter and Brian sat the bench. From beach to bench. After all those years, all those hot summers when I worked and he went to the beach, our roles had flip-flopped. Halfway through the year, he quit the team, frustrated that everyone was better than he was.
As I told my players, Brian was clearly good enough, strong enough, and skilled enough at an early age to have gone on to become a standout high school player. But he was already so much better than everyone else that he never thought he had to work on improving his skills. When everyone caught up to him physically, skills became the divider. By the eleventh grade, it was several years too late to start working hard.
No kid should be complacent about his or her skill level. Instead, as demonstrated by Cal Ripken Jr., the Baltimore Orioles shortstop famed for playing a record-setting 2,632 consecutive games, you must work every day to improve rather than have your skills diminish. And if you're big when young, you had better pay extra attention to skills because most kids who are big at an early age don't end up being 7 feet tall. Brian was 6'2" in sixth grade and never grew another inch. I was 5 feet tall and ended up 6'5" with skills.
Young players who see success early may think, "I'm already the best. Why do I need to be better?" Unless their coaches or parents encourage them, they see no need to work hard. But when you're not working, someone else is. And sooner or later, the two of you will come face to face.
Some people are incredible athletes, while others have not one speck of athletic ability. Most people, however, fall somewhere in the middle, and eventually it's skill that separates them. That's where work ethic becomes so important. I believe that work ethic itself should be considered a talent. It helps many athletes - Larry Bird immediately comes to mind - overcome shortcomings in other skills, such as lack of quickness and speed. And work ethic is a talent that carries over into all other areas of life. You may hear a kid say of another student, "She got an A on that test, but she isn't that smart. She just works hard." Well, that's a skill! It should be commended.
Our children often hear from their peers that it's not "cool" to work hard. So it is imperative that parents and coaches show children - through their words, actions, and examples - that the ability to work hard is a fantastic talent to have. The earlier you can impress this upon a child, the better.
Of course, hard work for young kids isn't the same as it is for high school and college athletes. Coaching eight-, nine-, and ten-year-olds should be about encouraging passion for the sport, not about weeding out kids who aren't as good as the others. You want to help the eight-year-old understand why he has to work harder, but you don't want to turn him off to the game. Passion and excitement come first. Work ethic will follow.
Sometimes parents - who, as working adults, are accustomed to measuring the value of performance, not effort - are overbearing. But you must understand that if your nine-year-old is just a benchwarmer on a school or youth team, this doesn't mean that he won't become a terrific college player in that sport. It also doesn't mean that he won't enjoy and learn from his experience on the team. Some parents might say, "Well, if my child is not good enough to play on an all-star team in youth football, I will take him out of that sport and have him play soccer instead." If my parents had thought that way, I never would have played college basketball. I would have been pushed into another sport instead of being encouraged to work harder and realize my potential in the sport I loved.
I am gravely concerned by the earlier and earlier ages at which we expect results - victories, awards, trophies, and so on - from our children. What are the values we really want to teach? If there is not an encouraging adult around, be it a parent or a coach, to make kids understand what hard work and core values are, the sport they are playing may lose them before they have the chance to grow physically and develop their skills. We lose kids in the classroom, in music, in dance - everywhere - for the same reason. If they aren't taught with patience, enthusiasm, and the understanding that work ethic counts just as much as natural talent, the late bloomers will never bloom.
Too often, youth athletic programs are seen as a vehicle for getting children into college. We often overlook their true purpose: to provide kids with an opportunity to have fun while also building character and learning a number of lessons that will benefit them in every aspect of life. That's why some parents insist, "My boy should play," and blame the coach who doesn't agree. Wouldn't it be more helpful to the child if his parents said to the coach, "My kid needs a positive sports experience, and I really don't care how much you play him. He'll be at every practice, and he'll work hard." And wouldn't it be great for the youngster, when he came home, if his parents didn't say in one breath, "Did you win? That coach who doesn't like you - did he finally play you?" What if, instead, they said, "It's great that you're part of the team. Work hard so you'll be ready when you get a chance." Parents often believe that their child will become upset and disheartened if he doesn't get much playing time, and they think this is unfair. But they should understand that whatever role on the team the youngster's hard work creates is valuable, even if he's a substitute. It's a fact: For the majority of players, hard work will lead to a role on their team, not All-City, All-State, or All-American status.
If a player works hard only because he thinks he can become a star, he's doing it for the wrong reason. Some day, somewhere, some time, he'll be disappointed with his achievements. He'll end up saying, "Well, I think I should be starting, and my dad thinks I should be starting. But Coach won't start me, so I don't think it's worth working so hard anymore." But if that player has developed a work ethic, he will understand the value of working every day. He will find that it helps him at every turn, in every challenge, for his entire life.
One player who found his niche on my team at Williams College was a young man named Seth Mehr. He had been on the junior varsity team as a freshman and tried out for the varsity the next year. My assistant coach said, "You've got to cut him." But I liked that he had a ball with him all the time, and that when I'd go up to the gym, I'd find him there working endlessly. Finally I said, "You know, I believe there is a role for a kid who works that hard." Seth created a role for himself; his hard work convinced me to keep him. In time, he became the captain of a team that went to the Division III Sweet Sixteen, and he played 10 to 12 minutes a game. He made a real contribution in practice and in games. After graduation, Seth went on to medical school and became a doctor. He wrote me once to say, "Coach, Williams was a great experience for me. Medical school is hard, but what prepared me for it the most, even more than my organic chemistry lab, was the basketball program." That's the kind of letter I live for.
Aaron Dupuis was another bench player with a tremendous work ethic. When I recruited him, I said, "You have to worry about two things. You might be a step slow. And you're a local kid, so you'll be watched closely by everyone in town." Undaunted, he came in and worked his rear end off, and he improved vastly, although he never played much in games. Aaron said, "I want to make the team better on Saturday night, so I'm going to work hard on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday." And that's what he did. Every day he walked into the locker room and pulled on his shorts and shirt, knowing he was going to go out there for two hours to compete. He understood his role and knew his value to the team. He made our reserves a competitive group by the sheer force of his will. When Aaron wasn't there, it showed. Once he was hurt for about two weeks, and the intensity of our practices took a nosedive. I told the other players, "If we have to have Aaron on the court for you to be competitive, then we have a problem. Because he can't do it for you right now." I'm sure that it meant a lot to Aaron to have me say that in front of the entire team and coaching staff. He was one of the most respected players on our team, and his ex-teammates hold him in high regard to this day.
Many coaches are fixated on results. The basic mistake most make in regard to work ethic is not recognizing the contributions of nonstarters like Seth and Aaron in front of their teammates. In a basketball game, not every player plays; not every player is on the floor when it counts, when there are people in the stands, when there is noise in the gym, when there is an excitement he wants to be a part of. These players don't hear their names shouted by the fans; they won't see their achievements written up in the papers. But some of these kids make tremendous contributions to the team. So as the coach, you have to acknowledge these players, in a way that really means something to them. Take the time to stop practice and recognize their hard work in front of their teammates and coaches. It's the most important recognition they can get. Their teammates are their brothers, their fraternity. And if a player gets positive feedback from a group he really cares about, he will do almost anything for them.
When I was in high school, a boy named Bobby Galvin lived down the street from me. He was a couple of years younger than me, and when I started making a name for myself on the basketball team, he started gravitating toward me because he wanted to be a player, too. He figured that if I could succeed through hard work, anybody could. When I was hired as athletic director at Williams College in 2000, Bobby heard about it, and he dropped me a note. He congratulated me and recalled our time spent in the park together, working on our game. I was sad to learn that he had never had success in the sport and had given it up, but he wrote something really perceptive about that: "Harry, I didn't need to become a great basketball player. I just needed to be there, practicing. I learned that there is something innately valuable about working hard. At that time in my youth, it was important to have that discipline."
We must often remind parents and coaches that their kids are playing games, not performing brain surgery. But as Bobby said, there is a certain time in a young person's life when there is something extremely valuable about working hard in order to stretch and achieve some level of self-fulfillment. It has been my experience that kids who accomplish something they are proud of through hard work adopt work ethic as one of their core values. And a work ethic can carry a young person a good long way through life.
by Harry Sheehy, Danny Peary
Youth sports have become a pressure cooker of expectations. Parents scream abuse at players, coaches, and referees. Coaches demand that their teams win, at any cost. Kids practice day and night. They face intense pressure to score, to win, to succeed. But is this the measure of success we want to impress upon our children?
In the complex world of today's youth athletic programs, parents face many challenging questions. What is a successful athletic experience? How can you help kids deal with pressure from coaches, players, and other parents? How do you encourage healthy competitiveness and discourage poor sportsmanship? Can you help your child develop a strong work ethic without becoming discouraged at the slow progress? How do you support a child who sits on the bench all year long? What's the best way to encourage your strong-willed all-star to support his teammates? How do you teach a child to accept criticism positively? Most important, how do you help your child absorb real core values from sports? How can you use sports as a vehicle to talk to kids about life's challenges?
In Raising a Team Player, Harry Sheehy answers these questions and more. Offering lessons and wisdom learned from more than seventeen years of working with elementary school children, high schoolers, and college players, Sheehy encourages parents to get involved in their kids' athletic experiences. He offers advice on how to praise, encourage, inspire, build, temper, support, and teach, working with children on everything from setting goals to teaching sportsmanship and humility to building character and a sense of self-worth. With direct, compelling words, Sheehy inspires in parents and coaches an attitude of self-realization, humor, confidence, and enthusiasm for both the successes and mistakes of young athletes.
My greatest joy as a coach was to teach kids who had so much passion for their sport that they were willing to work hard to get better. When I was recruiting high school seniors for my basketball team at Williams College, those were the kids I coveted. Quite often, beaming parents would come in with their sons and declare, "He loves basketball." But then I'd spend time with their boys and realize that they didn't love it at all. Mom and Dad may have seen Junior walking out the door with a basketball and assumed that he was working hard at the playground to improve his game. But he might have been the type to spend the day launching 25-foot hook shots and lazily walking after the ball. Or, if he had a baseball and a bat, he might have been interested only in seeing if he could reach the fences, swing after swing.
It's easy to mistake activity for passion. Anyone can participate in an activity, but without passion, a kid will not be motivated to work hard to become a better individual and team player. As a coach, I didn't want to recruit eighteen-year-olds whose parents or previous coaches hadn't already nurtured in them a passion for basketball and a work ethic to support it. I could enforce the rules of practice and make such players work hard, but would they have seen the inherent value of that work and adopted work ethic as one of their core values? By that age, it's usually too late. We develop our sense of character at a very young age, using the adults in our lives as models and mentors. If we don't learn a particular lesson when we're young, it's very difficult to learn it when we are older. That's why it's so important to start teaching values such as work ethic through youth athletic programs, while the kids are still young. Lessons learned early last a lifetime.
Most girls and boys in youth, high school, and college sports understand that it's the coach's job to inspire them, but they don't understand that inspiration is a two-way street. They don't realize that we coaches - just like teachers - put out our best effort when our kids work hard enough to inspire us. What my best teams at Williams had in common was that they worked so hard to get better that I couldn't wait to get down to the gym each afternoon to teach them. Those young men, none of whom were there on an athletic scholarship, gave me an incredible effort every day, while also carrying full course loads and, with my encouragement, having active social lives. Because they inspired me, I'd often stay up past midnight studying film for them. And if any of them wanted to work on rebounding, shooting, or defense after practice, I made myself available.
I told my players, "Guys, I want you to work so hard that you feel in your heart that you deserve to win." That's deserve to win, not will win. You can't promise a kid that he'll always succeed if he works hard, but you can promise him that if he doesn't work hard, he will almost certainly fail. My challenge was to get my players to understand the need to work hard every day, not just on game day.
I have always believed that games are won at practice. Each of our twenty-four games was like an exam. How well had we learned the lessons undertaken in practice over the previous days? We "studied" such topics as "How Our Offense Can Solve a Zone Defense" and "What Makes a Man-to-Man Pressure Defense Effective." I drilled and drilled my players, because I would accept nothing less than for them to play hard on every possession. Many times we were victorious because our team was more fit than the opposition; we simply wore them out. Such success helped me sell this message: A work ethic is the foundation on which you build the goals that you equate with success. Every worthwhile accomplishment, in sports and in life, is made possible by a strong work ethic.
I am living proof that a strong work ethic can produce good results. After all, I'd been a young boy with no discernible talents but a willingness to work hard, and I went on to play varsity basketball at Williams and then to play for years with Athletes-in-Action, one of the top amateur teams in the world. When anyone asks how I became so adamant about the value of a work ethic, I say, "Let me tell you about my friend Brian."
Brian and I grew up together on Long Island. By the sixth grade, he was already 6'2" and brawny, and - no kidding - with a heavy beard at five o'clock. I was just under 5', slight, and definitely without a beard. We both loved basketball and played for our school's team. I was small and not very good, and when the game started, my job was to walk over to the corner of the gym and keep score on a chalkboard. Brian was so big that he overpowered everyone, and he was the star of the team. I went to practice every day and worked hard, but I didn't play more than two minutes in a game all year long. But I was fortunate. My father, Harry Sheehy Jr., who had played and coached both basketball and baseball, continued to encourage me. So rather than quitting, as many youngsters are apt to do when they aren't supported by coaches or parents, I went to work that summer to improve my game.
I asked my father to devise a workout plan for me. Then every day, without exception, I walked the twenty blocks to a small park that had hoops and worked hard on my game for a couple of hours. Meanwhile, my good friend Brian went to the beach. Every day.
In the fall, Brian and I both made the seventh grade team. Brian was still bigger and stronger than everyone else and was the best scorer and rebounder in the entire league. I went to practice every day and worked hard, but I still sat on the bench, despite having made some improvements. That next summer, and the following summer, too, I continued my workout plan at the park, and Brian continued to go to the beach. When it was 90 degrees and muggy and I was working, working, working, I thought of Brian at the beach, enjoying the sun and the sand, and I was envious.
I vividly recall the scorching day when my father came down to see how I was doing. It was about three o'clock in the afternoon, and the blacktop court was radiating heat. I just wanted to put down my ball and go to the pool or even join Brian at the beach. When my father was ready to leave, I said, "Dad, hold on. I'll take five more shots and go home with you." But that didn't sit well with him, and he gave me some advice he'd heard from Bill Bradley, who was then a Princeton basketball star and would someday become a United States senator: "Why don't you work ten more minutes," my father said, in a tone that made it clear his words were less a question than an order. "When Bradley was ready to quit his workouts, he always continued for ten more minutes because someone, somewhere else, had stopped. He figured that if he worked ten minutes extra every day, he'd win the contest between them if they ever competed." Dad's words made sense, and from that day on, first as a player and then as a coach, I always have said at the end of a day: "When you're ready to quit, work just ten more minutes. Work ten more minutes because someone, somewhere else, is quitting."
Ten minutes may not sound like much, but multiply ten minutes by hundreds of practices. How much progress could you make if you worked just that much more? I believe those ten extra minutes that summer paid dividends, because that fall I made the freshman team at Garden City High School. I was still small - I tipped the scales at a mere 90 pounds and didn't crack the 5-foot barrier until halfway through ninth grade - but I could see my skills were improving, the result of countless hours spent on the court. Brian was still the star, but I actually got to play a little. And a lot of the other guys were starting to catch up with Brian physically.
By the tenth grade, I had grown a little, and my skills had started to sharpen to the point where I made the varsity team. Brian stayed on the junior varsity team. In the eleventh grade, we both made the varsity team, but I was a starter and Brian sat the bench. From beach to bench. After all those years, all those hot summers when I worked and he went to the beach, our roles had flip-flopped. Halfway through the year, he quit the team, frustrated that everyone was better than he was.
As I told my players, Brian was clearly good enough, strong enough, and skilled enough at an early age to have gone on to become a standout high school player. But he was already so much better than everyone else that he never thought he had to work on improving his skills. When everyone caught up to him physically, skills became the divider. By the eleventh grade, it was several years too late to start working hard.
No kid should be complacent about his or her skill level. Instead, as demonstrated by Cal Ripken Jr., the Baltimore Orioles shortstop famed for playing a record-setting 2,632 consecutive games, you must work every day to improve rather than have your skills diminish. And if you're big when young, you had better pay extra attention to skills because most kids who are big at an early age don't end up being 7 feet tall. Brian was 6'2" in sixth grade and never grew another inch. I was 5 feet tall and ended up 6'5" with skills.
Young players who see success early may think, "I'm already the best. Why do I need to be better?" Unless their coaches or parents encourage them, they see no need to work hard. But when you're not working, someone else is. And sooner or later, the two of you will come face to face.
Some people are incredible athletes, while others have not one speck of athletic ability. Most people, however, fall somewhere in the middle, and eventually it's skill that separates them. That's where work ethic becomes so important. I believe that work ethic itself should be considered a talent. It helps many athletes - Larry Bird immediately comes to mind - overcome shortcomings in other skills, such as lack of quickness and speed. And work ethic is a talent that carries over into all other areas of life. You may hear a kid say of another student, "She got an A on that test, but she isn't that smart. She just works hard." Well, that's a skill! It should be commended.
Our children often hear from their peers that it's not "cool" to work hard. So it is imperative that parents and coaches show children - through their words, actions, and examples - that the ability to work hard is a fantastic talent to have. The earlier you can impress this upon a child, the better.
Of course, hard work for young kids isn't the same as it is for high school and college athletes. Coaching eight-, nine-, and ten-year-olds should be about encouraging passion for the sport, not about weeding out kids who aren't as good as the others. You want to help the eight-year-old understand why he has to work harder, but you don't want to turn him off to the game. Passion and excitement come first. Work ethic will follow.
Sometimes parents - who, as working adults, are accustomed to measuring the value of performance, not effort - are overbearing. But you must understand that if your nine-year-old is just a benchwarmer on a school or youth team, this doesn't mean that he won't become a terrific college player in that sport. It also doesn't mean that he won't enjoy and learn from his experience on the team. Some parents might say, "Well, if my child is not good enough to play on an all-star team in youth football, I will take him out of that sport and have him play soccer instead." If my parents had thought that way, I never would have played college basketball. I would have been pushed into another sport instead of being encouraged to work harder and realize my potential in the sport I loved.
I am gravely concerned by the earlier and earlier ages at which we expect results - victories, awards, trophies, and so on - from our children. What are the values we really want to teach? If there is not an encouraging adult around, be it a parent or a coach, to make kids understand what hard work and core values are, the sport they are playing may lose them before they have the chance to grow physically and develop their skills. We lose kids in the classroom, in music, in dance - everywhere - for the same reason. If they aren't taught with patience, enthusiasm, and the understanding that work ethic counts just as much as natural talent, the late bloomers will never bloom.
Too often, youth athletic programs are seen as a vehicle for getting children into college. We often overlook their true purpose: to provide kids with an opportunity to have fun while also building character and learning a number of lessons that will benefit them in every aspect of life. That's why some parents insist, "My boy should play," and blame the coach who doesn't agree. Wouldn't it be more helpful to the child if his parents said to the coach, "My kid needs a positive sports experience, and I really don't care how much you play him. He'll be at every practice, and he'll work hard." And wouldn't it be great for the youngster, when he came home, if his parents didn't say in one breath, "Did you win? That coach who doesn't like you - did he finally play you?" What if, instead, they said, "It's great that you're part of the team. Work hard so you'll be ready when you get a chance." Parents often believe that their child will become upset and disheartened if he doesn't get much playing time, and they think this is unfair. But they should understand that whatever role on the team the youngster's hard work creates is valuable, even if he's a substitute. It's a fact: For the majority of players, hard work will lead to a role on their team, not All-City, All-State, or All-American status.
If a player works hard only because he thinks he can become a star, he's doing it for the wrong reason. Some day, somewhere, some time, he'll be disappointed with his achievements. He'll end up saying, "Well, I think I should be starting, and my dad thinks I should be starting. But Coach won't start me, so I don't think it's worth working so hard anymore." But if that player has developed a work ethic, he will understand the value of working every day. He will find that it helps him at every turn, in every challenge, for his entire life.
One player who found his niche on my team at Williams College was a young man named Seth Mehr. He had been on the junior varsity team as a freshman and tried out for the varsity the next year. My assistant coach said, "You've got to cut him." But I liked that he had a ball with him all the time, and that when I'd go up to the gym, I'd find him there working endlessly. Finally I said, "You know, I believe there is a role for a kid who works that hard." Seth created a role for himself; his hard work convinced me to keep him. In time, he became the captain of a team that went to the Division III Sweet Sixteen, and he played 10 to 12 minutes a game. He made a real contribution in practice and in games. After graduation, Seth went on to medical school and became a doctor. He wrote me once to say, "Coach, Williams was a great experience for me. Medical school is hard, but what prepared me for it the most, even more than my organic chemistry lab, was the basketball program." That's the kind of letter I live for.
Aaron Dupuis was another bench player with a tremendous work ethic. When I recruited him, I said, "You have to worry about two things. You might be a step slow. And you're a local kid, so you'll be watched closely by everyone in town." Undaunted, he came in and worked his rear end off, and he improved vastly, although he never played much in games. Aaron said, "I want to make the team better on Saturday night, so I'm going to work hard on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday." And that's what he did. Every day he walked into the locker room and pulled on his shorts and shirt, knowing he was going to go out there for two hours to compete. He understood his role and knew his value to the team. He made our reserves a competitive group by the sheer force of his will. When Aaron wasn't there, it showed. Once he was hurt for about two weeks, and the intensity of our practices took a nosedive. I told the other players, "If we have to have Aaron on the court for you to be competitive, then we have a problem. Because he can't do it for you right now." I'm sure that it meant a lot to Aaron to have me say that in front of the entire team and coaching staff. He was one of the most respected players on our team, and his ex-teammates hold him in high regard to this day.
Many coaches are fixated on results. The basic mistake most make in regard to work ethic is not recognizing the contributions of nonstarters like Seth and Aaron in front of their teammates. In a basketball game, not every player plays; not every player is on the floor when it counts, when there are people in the stands, when there is noise in the gym, when there is an excitement he wants to be a part of. These players don't hear their names shouted by the fans; they won't see their achievements written up in the papers. But some of these kids make tremendous contributions to the team. So as the coach, you have to acknowledge these players, in a way that really means something to them. Take the time to stop practice and recognize their hard work in front of their teammates and coaches. It's the most important recognition they can get. Their teammates are their brothers, their fraternity. And if a player gets positive feedback from a group he really cares about, he will do almost anything for them.
When I was in high school, a boy named Bobby Galvin lived down the street from me. He was a couple of years younger than me, and when I started making a name for myself on the basketball team, he started gravitating toward me because he wanted to be a player, too. He figured that if I could succeed through hard work, anybody could. When I was hired as athletic director at Williams College in 2000, Bobby heard about it, and he dropped me a note. He congratulated me and recalled our time spent in the park together, working on our game. I was sad to learn that he had never had success in the sport and had given it up, but he wrote something really perceptive about that: "Harry, I didn't need to become a great basketball player. I just needed to be there, practicing. I learned that there is something innately valuable about working hard. At that time in my youth, it was important to have that discipline."
We must often remind parents and coaches that their kids are playing games, not performing brain surgery. But as Bobby said, there is a certain time in a young person's life when there is something extremely valuable about working hard in order to stretch and achieve some level of self-fulfillment. It has been my experience that kids who accomplish something they are proud of through hard work adopt work ethic as one of their core values. And a work ethic can carry a young person a good long way through life.
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