Survivors and Thrivers!

Another great article by Chris Widener!! Enjoy!!

One of the most watched television show today is Survivor. We admire those who survive! We tune in every week to see who makes it next. But even better than being a survivor is to be one who thrives!


What are the differences between someone who survives and someone who thrives? Here are a few:

A survivor gets by, a thriver gets ahead. Do you feel like you are just getting by? You don’t have to. You can actually get ahead! You can be out front! You can thrive!

A survivor is tired at the end, a thriver feels full of energy. When you are finished do you feel tired? You can thrive and be filled with energy! You can thrive!

A survivor has barely enough, a thriver has an abundance. Do you have more month left over at the end of your money? You can have more money left over at the end of your month! You can thrive financially!

A survivor is always on the edge, a thriver is on firm ground. Do you feel like you could fall over the edge at any time? You can get back on solid footing! You can feel firm about where you are. You can thrive!

So how do we shift from being a survivor to becoming a thriver? Here are a few steps to put you on your way!

First, start with some good input. Subscribe to as many good magazines and Ezines that will change your outlook and inspire you to thrive! And don’t just subscribe to them – read them. Devour them. Get great audios and videos and listen to them and watch them. The principle here is to renew your mind to become a person whose mindset is one of a person who thrives.

Second, get around people who are thriving. Join clubs and groups filled with people who are already thrivers. Develop friendships with them; take them to lunch or coffee. Pick their brains and learn from them. Mimic their habits of thriving.

As you commit to these first two, you will see the time you spend watching and listening to junk go out the door. You will see that you are spending less and less time with those kinds of people who just want to survive. This will be the launching pad for your success.

Third, make a personal evaluation of your skills. What areas do you need to grow in? Now, get to work on those skills. Skills are what take you to the top. An old quote says that the race isn’t always won by the fast or the strong, but that’s the way to bet! I’ll take the person with skills to be the one who thrives every time. It won’t work like that every time, but it will most of the time.

Fourth, make a commitment to a long-term, tenacious outlook. We have to do this in order to turn the ship around. If you are just a survivor, you can be a thriver, but it may take some time. Remember, this is for the rest of your life. There will be times of weakness. There will be times of hardship. If you are tenacious, you can, and will, thrive!

Fifth, understand that thrivers are almost always people of methodical discipline and order. They know that they have to have order in their lives and the order is what produces the ability to thrive. They thrive financially because they discipline themselves to save and invest rather than spend. They thrive physically because they are disciplined in what they eat and in how they exercise. Discipline will make you thrive!

Yes, you can THRIVE! Take the above and get to work. Make these principles a part of your life and they will create in you an ability to thrive in everything that you do. You will no longer just survive. Instead, you will thrive! And that is going to feel great!

Who's Pulling You Down?

I had the pleasure of listening to Fred speak the other day and he was fantastic! I had him come and speak to all our senior staff at Congressional CC in March this year. What an incredible person and a real motivation to all of us. One who leads by example! Enjoy his article.

A Bucket of Crabs

Have you ever seen a bucket full of crabs? They pinch and pull as they struggle to climb over one another to reach the top of the bucket – to freedom. Ask any fisherman and they'll tell you that a bucket full of crabs doesn't need a lid – they simply won't escape.

Why? Well, it's not impossible for a crab to climb to the top, and really if they worked together it would be quite easy. But crabs don't work together...

Instinctively crabs pull each other down-literally.

When one crab breaks away from the pack, reaching its pinchers toward the top of the bucket, the others promptly grab onto the escapee's leg, pulling him back down. That crab is then pushed to the bottom of the pile and his dream of freedom is crushed.

People have a way of acting just like a bucket of crabs. Have you ever decided on a personal goal only to have someone in your life talk you out of it?

Do you have crabs in your life? A crab is...

• The person who discourages you from going to the gym

• The person who scoffs when you mention your goals

• The person who snickers when you choose salad over pizza

The crab mentality says "If I can't have it, then neither can you." When you decide to do something different, to reach for a goal and to improve yourself, the crabs in your life will do their best to hold you back.

Keep Crabs at Bay: When crabs come snapping, remember the following:

1. Ignore them: When someone in your life begins to pull you down with discouraging words, remember that you don't have to listen. Don't let them get into your head. Mentally tune them out or politely remove yourself from the situation. Who are they to tell you what you can or can't achieve?

2. Understand them: Ouch! Insults and put-downs hurt, especially when they come from people that we care about. So what is the deal? Why do your friends, co-workers and even your spouse turn into crabs when you decide to improve your life? Do they really hope that you don't succeed? The truth is that crabs are thinking about themselves-not about you. They see you attempting to better yourself and to change your life. Whether they realize it or not, this scares them. If you better yourself will you still like them? Or will you leave them behind?

3. You hold the power: Even the most persuasive crab doesn't hold a candle to your iron will. When you are ready to change, and you've made up your mind without an inkling of doubt, then 90% of the work is done. Your mind is the most powerful tool at your disposal-don't let a wimpy crab rob it from you.

Are you ready to make a positive change in your life? Don't wait any longer. And don't let a single crab talk you out of it!

No Excuses!

Another great article by Chris. Enjoy!

Don’t you just hate it when people make excuses for their failures? So do I. But do you know what I hate even more? Finding myself making excuses for my failures! I have a policy that I try to live by: No excuses.

Here are some thoughts on a “No Excuses” policy.

People will respect you. When you say that there are no excuses, that you blew it, and that you take full responsibility to make the situation right, people will be astounded (since very few people make no excuses) and they will come to a greater respect of you.

You will find yourself taking greater responsibility. When you know that your policy is to have no excuses, there will be less room for error because you will be doing everything that you can to make sure the job gets done!

You will become the “go to” person. When someone wants something done, they will turn to you because they know that they can count on you to perform. And they know they won’t get any excuses! This will improve your level of success, and that is exactly what you are aiming for, right?

Practice up: “You’re right. There is no excuse for that. I will fix it immediately.” Refreshing!

How to Reach Your Goals

By Carol Sorgen

Great article! Experts describe strategies for setting goals -- and making sure you achieve them. To achieve and be succesful in LIFE, you need to set GOALS! Period!

We all have goals. What are yours? To lose 20 pounds? Get in shape? Buy a new house? Make more money? Having a goal is the easy part. Reaching it? Well, that's something else entirely. If you're frustrated because you feel like you keep coming up short when it comes to realizing your dreams, maybe it's time to try a different approach.

When setting a goal, ask yourself first of all if your goals are realistic and if you are really ready to make the changes in your life necessary to reach those goals.

"Most people don't take into consideration whether they're ready to do what it takes to achieve their goals," says Steven Rosenberg, PhD. Rosenberg is a behavior therapist, the team psychotherapist for the Philadelphia Flyers hockey team, and author of I Hope the Hell I WIN! Turning Hope into Reality…How Winners Win! If you're going through a stressful time at work, for example, this may not be the best time to start a weight loss program; maybe you'd do better to wait a few months and start on, say, your birthday.

Be realistic as well, says Rosenberg. You can't lose 40 pounds in two weeks, or even a month. Set an achievable objective, such as 1 to 2 pounds a week; by the end of the year, you will have lost the 40 pounds.

Be Committed

"Goals that get reached are those that are firm, well-defined, and to which the individual is truly and completely committed," says Susan Schachterle, director of the Denver-based Ahimsa Group, which provides consulting and coaching services to individuals and organizations worldwide. "Without that commitment, trying to reach goals is like grabbing Jell-O -- you think maybe you have it, but there's really nothing to hang on to."

Schachterle suggests that you check your commitment. Ask yourself why you want to achieve that particular goal. What will that do for you? Why is it important? What will your life be like when you have reached it? How will achieving your goal change things for you?
"If you're having trouble making a strong commitment," says Schachterle, "make sure it's the right goal and the right time for you."

The Art of Saying 'No'

Another reason many people don't reach their goals is that they just can't say no -- to everyone else. "Many of us, especially women, put other things and people first," says Susan Newman, PhD, a social psychologist at Rutgers University and author of The Book of NO: 250 Ways to Say It-and Mean It and Stop People-Pleasing Forever. We're unable to refuse when asked for our time, our talent, our expertise, or merely our presence.

"Saying yes is a habit we're not even aware of," says Newman. "Think 'no' before you think 'yes' (not the other way around). By adding the word 'no' to your vocabulary, you open up vistas of time, not only to work toward a goal but also to think about how to reach it," Newman says. "In short, you put boundaries in place and establish priorities in the correct order [for you]."

If you haven't mastered the art of saying "no" and you think that's derailing your efforts to reach your goals, Newman suggests taking these steps:

• Make a list of how many times a day you say 'yes.' "You'll be startled," says Newman.
• Pay attention to how you parcel out your time. "For most of us, it just disappears. … Who's monopolizing the time you could otherwise spend on reaching your goals?"
• Set priorities. Who has first dibs on you and your time?
• Look at your limitations. When do you start to lose your stamina? "Don't keep pushing until you run out of steam and collapse altogether," Newman advises.
• Let go of control. You don't have to do it all yourself. "If you're doing everything else, there's no time for you to get back to your goal."
  

Be Specific

There are two tricks to properly setting your goals, says University of Alabama at Birmingham clinical psychologist Joshua Klapow, PhD. Klapow is co-author of Stop Telling Me What-Tell Me How: The Simple Answer to Better Health.

First, turn goals into specific behaviors, says Klapow. "To say that you are going to exercise doesn't tell you which exercise to do, for how long and how frequently. If you don't know what to do, you are less likely to do the behavior. Be specific. Saying that you plan to walk five minutes a day -- and increase the time by one minute each week until you are walking 30 minutes per day -- is better than just saying that you plan to exercise."

Klapow's second tip is to make sure you are successful at reaching your goals right from the start. "Resolutions need to be things you can actually do," he says. "This is important because you are more likely to repeat the behaviors in which you are successful. Set short- and long-term target goals and make the short-term goals easy to reach."

At this time of year, when many of us are making New Year's resolutions, Klapow reminds us that resolutions are basically a set of new behaviors. Because the behaviors are new, and not learned habits, we have a tendency to slip back into our old behavior patterns.

"The best way to keep track of what you are doing every day," says Klapow, "is to get a calendar and write down every time you perform your new habit. Don't leave it up to your mind because your mind can play tricks on you. Three days without performing your new habit is your sign that you may be slipping."

The Benefits of Intuition

Using your intuition can also help you reach your goals, says Lynn A. Robinson, MEd, author of Real Prosperity: Using the Power of Intuition to Create Financial and Spiritual Abundance. Robinson offers three tips for achieving a specific goal:

• Stay focused on the positive. Pay attention to what is working, not what isn't. Perhaps a friend called to cheer you up, or your child got off to school this morning without a major tantrum, or you had a really nice lunch with a colleague. "Find those precious slivers of appreciation in each day."
• Take small steps. There is a two-part trick of working toward a goal: No. 1, just begin, and No. 2, start small. Take a first step toward what you feel excited about and then take another one, and then another one. "Remain centered in the present."
• Make your intuition your ally. Intuition is "quick and ready insight" and it's one of the most helpful tools to use when faced with any kind of decision making. It's also a skill that can be developed. The more you practice it the better you get at it. How does your intuition speak to you? Do you receive information in words, feelings, a flash of insight, a body sensation? Do you just know? "Intuition is the secret weapon of many successful people who describe it as knowing something directly without going through a long analytical process," says Robinson.

Getting your friends and family involved can also help you reach your goals, says Sandra Beckwith, leader of "Finding the Courage to Change" workshops. "You need someone who will reject your usual excuses -- 'I can't afford it,' 'I don't know how,' etc. -- and help you see that there's a way around every obstacle," says Beckwith. "He or she can brainstorm with you. … This allows you to see a situation from a different perspective, through fresh eyes."
Actually seeing your goal written down can also help you keep it in the forefront of your mind, adds Newman. "Tape reminders all over the house so your goal will always be in front of you -- literally."

Be Positive

Visualization and mindfulness (including approaches such as meditation and hypnosis) are also ways to help you achieve your goals. Mindfulness trainer Maya Talisman Frost explains that goal-setting is only one aspect of getting what you want. "It's the intention that gets us where we want to go," says Frost.

Goals tend to be arbitrary and number-oriented, says Frost, such as the number of pounds lost, amount of money earned, number of hours spent in the gym, and so on. Intentions, on the other hand, are "big-picture" statements about what fulfills you.

Yes, your goal is to lose 20 pounds in six months, but what's your intention? How about, "I feel strong, healthy, fit, confident, attractive, and sexy," says Frost. "The number on the scale isn't what matters most -- it's how you feel each day."

Positive thinking is often more effective than negative thinking when it comes to changing health behaviors. For example, people quit smoking more readily when the positive aspects of health are emphasized, rather than the negative side.

"Intentions allow us to picture ourselves -- and how we'll feel -- when we are successful," says Frost. "There's no room for failure in the picture. We focus on the positive and powerful feelings we'll have."

Picturing Success

The most effective way to change our beliefs is to create a mental story of success, Frost says. We need to picture ourselves as we want to be, and we need to talk about it. Her basic formula: See it. Say it. Hear it.

• See yourself in the circumstances you desire. Picture it perfectly.
• Craft a one-sentence story that you would like to be true, and say it in the present tense, as though you are describing your life right now.
• Keep repeating yourself. Demand to hear that same story every night before you go to sleep.

"When it comes to achieving your goals, being positive is so important," agrees Rosenberg. "When you see in your mind's eye what you want to achieve, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy."

To Resolve or Not too Resolve

by Laura M. Stack, MBA, CSP, is “The Productivity PRO,"® helping people leave the office earlier, with less stress, and more to show for it. She presents keynotes and seminars on time management, information overload, and personal productivity. Contact her at 303-471-7401 or visit her website at www.TheProductivityPro.com.


I'm not a big believer in New Year's resolutions. Frustrated by bad habits like smoking, overeating, being disorganized, or not exercising, many of us vow to change and make a New Year's resolution. "This year, I'll walk on my treadmill three times a week," we pledge, and by May, it's gathering dust down in the basement. Defeated, many people give up further attempts to change.

Most of us don't have a clue how to make a reasonable resolution, which is why most of us fail to keep the ones we make. We set high goals for ourselves, and then wonder why we never attain them. So we either stop setting goals (never a good choice), or make resolutions that are ridiculously easy to keep.

Making a decision to change just because it's New Year's Day isn't enough to keep you motivated for *long.* Lasting change means being prepared to make sacrifices. Are you truly willing to make the effort to kick a bad habit and start a healthy one? If so, you'll need to develop a plan of action and make that plan a priority.

Here are a few tips to get you started:

Conduct an "annual review" before the end of this month to determine the things that you meant to do, change, or accomplish by the end of 2002 that didn't get done. After you've completed the review, take a moment to pause, step back, and appreciate all the things you *have* accomplished in 2002, and my hope is that this will motivate you to aspire higher in 2003.

Select a *few* (two or three) things that you'd like to change or accomplish in 2003.
Word your goals carefully. Let's say your resolution is to relax more in the coming year. Try not to think of it as "This year I am going to relax." That's a stress-inducer waiting to happen! It forces you into thinking of the resolution as something you must do, not something you want to do. Try to make it sound a little gentler: "This year I'm going to explore different ways of relaxing." It also suggests more of a plan—you'll fulfill the resolution by experimenting with relaxation techniques. The first resolution sounds as if you're going to force yourself to relax by sheer willpower.

Write your list and put "due dates" next to each. Then break them down by the month that you will begin working on them. If you wish to start an exercise program, plan what kind of exercise you will do, when, and how often.

Transfer your due dates to your daily plan or calendar, making that "appointment" with yourself just as important as one with another person. Aren't your needs just as, if not more, important than others?

Create reminder cards you can post around the house, on your bathroom mirror, on your dashboard in your car, etc., to continually remind yourself about your goals.

Take small steps toward your goals, every day or week. If you can do just a little bit to get going, soon you'll feel the positive effects of the change. And that little bit of change can lead to long-term healthy habits that last far beyond New Year's Day.

How To Set and Accomplish Any Goal, Even When You Hit a Dead End

By Ted Charles


Nothing is more unfortunate than the saddening fact that most people will never ever make it in life. What a bitter pill to swallow? Most people have no focus, no direction and no course of action! Simply speaking, we barely know what we want. Add to this, most of us don’t have a clue where we are going?

Think of an aimless wanderer venturing into the unknown. Borne out by research, the statistics are out and the results are nothing short of disheartening. The experts are telling us that an estimated 5-10% of all humanity seldom think of their goals. Out of this, only a paltry 1-3% have clear written goals. It pains the heart when you think what happens to the remaining 90%! With an estimated global population of six billion souls and counting, you do the math.

People with clear goals always succeed because they know where they are going. Goal setting isn’t exactly rocket science. The sooner you get started, the better. Avoid the temptation to go hog wild with a mere wish list instead of practical goals. Why not give these few pointers a spin, and set of your life kicking into high gear.

First and Foremost, write your goals on paper! This simple task is so priceless yet it hardly crosses our minds. Charting a clear road map to your success makes the difference between living the high life and languishing from hand to mouth. Whatever you want to achieve, just grab a pen and paper or switch to your computer and write down those goals. It doesn’t matter. Even your New Year’s resolutions. Just list them down.

Start Small. You never climb from the top. Goals don’t always have to be big. Begin with something realistic. Most important of all, they should be challenging but achievable. When you set the bar too high, you are already laying down the path for setbacks, failure and heartbreak.

By now, you should differentiate between goals, wishes and dreams. When you ask people what their goals are, they give vague statements like “I want to be rich”, “I want to be successful”, “I want a good job”, “I want to be healthy”, “I want this and that” and so forth. For crying out loud, be specific! Remember the rule of SMART goals? Set your goals complete with date and time. Break them down into small, manageable units.

You can’t bite more than you can chew. As the adage goes, “By the yard it’s hard, but inch by inch it’s a cinch!”.

It’s no secret, the path to realizing your goals is filled with all kinds of challenges and endless distractions. What sets you apart from the rest is your commitment to concentrate and focus your time, energy and resources on one single objective. This is no time to get excited chasing trivial pursuits or getting carried away by aimless distractions. Everybody is desperately trying to accomplish so much, in such short time. And when everything comes a cropper, they call it quits. To get to the promised land, you need to set careful targets and avoid losing sight of your destination.

Nothing comes on a silver platter. Not even for the super achievers. No major accomplishment was realized without wading through a myriad of obstacles and failures! How do you keep the faith when your patience and fighting spirit takes a serious beating? A story is told of Thomas Edison when he was working on the world’s first light bulb. After countless hours of failure after failure, it took him over three thousand attempts before discovering how to make the light bulb work. Without unwavering faith, your goals are doomed to fail.

So how does one cultivate motivation and persistence? The answer lies in asking yourself the big “WHY?”. Get this and you got everything wrapped up in no time flat. We are not sure what Edison had in mind. Only Edison himself knew exactly “WHY” he so desperately wanted to make that light bulb work.

Ask yourself WHY? You will be surprised at the hurdles you can overcome. Why do I want to build a dream house? Why do I want better education? Why do I want to buy a car? Why do I want to lose weight? Why or why do I want to take my family to Disneyland next summer? With a whole bunch of big enough “Whys”, the target remains within your reach no matter what resistance comes your way.

Feelings of self-doubt will start to creep in and probably grind you to a halt. How do you know whether you will succeed or ruin everything? In addition to this is the fear of friends, co-workers and even family laughing at if you fail. Never mind. These nay sayers might come in handy if only to stretch you to the max. Don’t let them put you down.

Truth is, many of these fears are absolutely unfounded. In spite of the difficulties, learning not to let mere words bring you down is a must. Reason with your fears and more often than not, you will realize there’s no reason to be fearful in the first place. Don’t under-estimate yourself. Avoid the urge to slack off. When faced with these kinds of criticisms, just laugh them off. Take it from me, it truly helps.

Lastly, Procrastination is the thief of time. Time wastage and putting off things to a “later” date can go down in the annals of history as one of mankind’s greatest cardinal sins. What do you think would have happened had the Wright brothers put off tinkering with their ground-breaking invention for another time? Some lucky soul would have jumped at the opportunity, perfected the flying machine and gone down in history as the pioneer of Aviation industry. It’s about time to get out of your comfort zones and flush this procrastination bug down the toilet. So how do you rid this monster? Start by setting a strict schedule and stick to it to the very end. Time and tide surely waits for no man.

The road map to success is no bed of roses. Everybody gets spanked along the way. It doesn’t matter a lick if you get beaten. What counts is how you handle defeat and whether you have the nerve to keep fighting. Think of goal setting as muscle building. The more muscle you use, the stronger it gets.

Without a shadow of doubt, having rock-hard abs and that six-pack or sporting an attractive figure is the stuff of dreams. You don’t just rush to bench press hefty weights the first time you hit the gym. Building muscle is a gradual process. With time, the muscles acquire strength and the ability to withstand pain. And so is goal setting. Once you are ready to handle resistance, you can take on bigger pursuits. Get started with a few “warm-up” goals. Sooner than later, you will be schmoozing to mighty high success of epic proportions.

Happy New Year - 2009

It's January 1, 2009 and it's time to reflect on all that we are blessed with in this life. I am thankful for my family, my friends, my work colleagues, my job and our good health. Even though we don't all get to see each other as much as we used to, today's technology has allowed us to communicate as if we were sitting right next to each other!

I am committing to being a better communicator this year; better with my wife Dale; my kids Matt and Josh; my family in SA; all my friends around the world and my work colleagues that Ideal with every day.

I am committing to a healthier lifestyle. Eating better, working out more and doing the right things that will allow me to extend the length and quality of my life. This will allow me to spend more time with all the people that I care about as well as preventing me being a burden on these people before my time.

I am committing to doing at least one marathon in 2009.

I am committing to a stretching program to allow me to be as flexible as possible as I age.

I am committing to working out everyday, using a combination of cardio (machines and classes), weight training and stretching to meet my "life" goals.

I am commiting to keep a daily journal, documenting my year as CMAA President.

I am committing to update my website and my blog page at least once a week (on a Monday)

More commitments to follow ....