Another great article by John C. Maxwell. Good stuff!
How did James Cameron direct a movie as incredible as Titanic or Avatar? How is Alicia Keys able to write world-class music in an era when few elite performers pen their own lyrics? How does Pixar keep churning out animated blockbusters?
The answers all involve vision. The best leaders are able to see a vision and then activate it by stepping forward. In addition, they're willing to sacrifice to see the vision come to fruition. Finally, they realize the importance of surrounding themselves and their vision with an incredible team.
See the Vision
Many people don't jumpstart their lives because they don't have anything to jump to! They plod along through life with little more than survival in mind. Visionaries dare to dream. They peer into the future and generate possibilities in their mind's eye.
The legendary sculptor, Michelangelo claimed that as he looked into the stone, "I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free." His imagination had already created his masterpieces before his hands did the work.
Step Toward the Vision
Some people see the vision, but they never step toward it. They cannot seem to summon the courage to overcome their fear, or they cannot find the passion to get past their apathy. As a consequence, their vision sits on the shelf until it spoils, or until someone else takes initiative to claim it.
More than two months before Alexander Graham Bell submitted his patent for the telegraph, Elisha Gray had already arrived at the conclusion that voice could be transmitted over a telegraph wire. Why, then, is Elisha Gray anonymous and Alexander Graham a celebrated inventor? Because Gray procrastinated two months before putting his vision on paper. Then, when he finally finished his sketch, Gray delayed another four days before taking it to the patent office. When he finally made up his mind to go, he arrived two hours too late. Bell had already secured the patent, and Gray's idea was worthless.
Sacrifice for the Vision
Visionaries give up to go up. They bypass good to gain at shot at being great. If they fail, at least they go out swinging. Visionaries don't fear failure; they only fear losing out on opportunity.
In an effort to break into the U.S. market, Cirque Du Soleil founder, Guy Laliberte, took his entire troupe from Montreal to Los Angeles. At the time, Cirque was a budding act that was barely breaking even. As legend has it, the circus did not even have gas money to return home if the show flopped. Laliberte had leveraged every resource at his disposal for the opportunity to achieve his vision of striking it rich in the United States. Thankfully for everyone involved, the show was a smash hit. Cirque Du Soleil's success catapulted it forward in terms of recognition on the entertainment scene.
Seek Help for the Vision
Teamwork makes the dream work. If you can achieve your vision by flying solo, then chances are you're not doing anything worthwhile. A big dream requires a talented team in order to take root in reality.
Wilt Chamberlain was one of the most gifted athletes to ever set foot on a basketball court. He holds the NBA record for most points in a game (100), most rebounds in a game (55), and the highest scoring average for a season (50.4 points per game). However, Wilt was so talented that he had trouble meshing with his teammates. At one point, coaches even advised him to shoot less so that other players could be involved. Despite his prodigious abilities, Wilt never won a championship while the star player of his team. However, he did eventually learn to become an unselfish player. As his point totals declined, he became better and better at setting up teammates to score. Well past the prime of his career, Wilt finally won achieved his vision of winning a title. As a role player for the Los Angeles Lakers, he captured two NBA championships. His growth as a teammate made him an invaluable asset even though his athleticism had diminished from its peak.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Great Expectations!
Great article by Roger Maxwell, one of the experts on Leadership! Enjoy!
A primary responsibility of leadership is to communicate expectations, both with words and actions. When leaders carefully and consistently set expectations, they engineer a flourishing work environment. However, when leaders abdicate their duty to communication expectations, chaos ensues. Here are six rules of thumb to follow as you set expectations in your organization.
1) Set them for yourself first
Leaders must set the bar the highest for themselves. They must go first and give the most. Leaders who demand more of their people than they do of themselves quickly lose credibility with followers. However, leaders who commit to taking the first step demonstrate their belief in the vision, and they earn the right to ask others to follow.
2) Set them early
Have you ever boarded a train without being entirely sure if it was the correct one? If so, then you probably didn't feel at ease until the conductor announced its destination. Once you knew the route, you could relax and enjoy the ride. Uncertainty causes anxiety. People have an innate need to know where they're headed. They want goals to guide them and targets to hit. By communicating expectations early, leaders provide direction. People feel secure when they know the plan and have a good idea of what the future holds.
3) Set them clearly
Confusion breeds frustration. When a leader fails to communicate clear expectations, people must guess at what he or she wants. Oftentimes those assumptions do not line up with the leader's desires, causing followers to misspend time or squander energy. Clearly communicated expectations spell out a leader's vision and define everyone's roles and responsibilities. Unambiguous expectations also align activity, provide structure, and promote harmony. Serving as a reference point, clear expectations allow people to evaluate their performance and gauge whether or not they succeeding.
4) Set them optimistically
People generally perform in a way that's consistent with our expectations of them. That's why it's important to believe the best about those around you. When we give others a worthwhile reputation to uphold, they will stretch to meet our expectations. However, if we view others negatively, then we're likely to treat them without respect. In turn, sensing we dislike them, people are apt to put in minimum effort and to confirm our suspicions of them.
5) Set them realistically
Inexperienced leaders have a nasty habit of offering more than they, or their teams, can give. In doing so, they damage their character, sever relationships with customers, and discourage those they lead. In making exaggerated claims to gain business, they actually lose business in the long run after failing to come through. Under promise and over deliver. Be sensible about your commitments, and diligently follow through on them. You don't get credit for intentions, only for accomplishment. Set your people up for success by setting aggressive but attainable goals for them.
6) Exceed them consistently
Go above and beyond what others expect from you as a leader. People expect you to be fair, but be generous as well. People expect you to respect them, but show you care for them, too. People expect you to be judicious when you exercise authority, but be willing to serve also. Over time, as you exceed expectations, talented people will flock to your organization. Everyone wants to work for a leader who has his or her best interests in mind and leads with excellence on a consistent basis.
A primary responsibility of leadership is to communicate expectations, both with words and actions. When leaders carefully and consistently set expectations, they engineer a flourishing work environment. However, when leaders abdicate their duty to communication expectations, chaos ensues. Here are six rules of thumb to follow as you set expectations in your organization.
1) Set them for yourself first
Leaders must set the bar the highest for themselves. They must go first and give the most. Leaders who demand more of their people than they do of themselves quickly lose credibility with followers. However, leaders who commit to taking the first step demonstrate their belief in the vision, and they earn the right to ask others to follow.
2) Set them early
Have you ever boarded a train without being entirely sure if it was the correct one? If so, then you probably didn't feel at ease until the conductor announced its destination. Once you knew the route, you could relax and enjoy the ride. Uncertainty causes anxiety. People have an innate need to know where they're headed. They want goals to guide them and targets to hit. By communicating expectations early, leaders provide direction. People feel secure when they know the plan and have a good idea of what the future holds.
3) Set them clearly
Confusion breeds frustration. When a leader fails to communicate clear expectations, people must guess at what he or she wants. Oftentimes those assumptions do not line up with the leader's desires, causing followers to misspend time or squander energy. Clearly communicated expectations spell out a leader's vision and define everyone's roles and responsibilities. Unambiguous expectations also align activity, provide structure, and promote harmony. Serving as a reference point, clear expectations allow people to evaluate their performance and gauge whether or not they succeeding.
4) Set them optimistically
People generally perform in a way that's consistent with our expectations of them. That's why it's important to believe the best about those around you. When we give others a worthwhile reputation to uphold, they will stretch to meet our expectations. However, if we view others negatively, then we're likely to treat them without respect. In turn, sensing we dislike them, people are apt to put in minimum effort and to confirm our suspicions of them.
5) Set them realistically
Inexperienced leaders have a nasty habit of offering more than they, or their teams, can give. In doing so, they damage their character, sever relationships with customers, and discourage those they lead. In making exaggerated claims to gain business, they actually lose business in the long run after failing to come through. Under promise and over deliver. Be sensible about your commitments, and diligently follow through on them. You don't get credit for intentions, only for accomplishment. Set your people up for success by setting aggressive but attainable goals for them.
6) Exceed them consistently
Go above and beyond what others expect from you as a leader. People expect you to be fair, but be generous as well. People expect you to respect them, but show you care for them, too. People expect you to be judicious when you exercise authority, but be willing to serve also. Over time, as you exceed expectations, talented people will flock to your organization. Everyone wants to work for a leader who has his or her best interests in mind and leads with excellence on a consistent basis.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Words to my All Time Favorite Song!!
"Have a Little Faith in Me" written by John Hiatt
When the road gets dark
And you can no longer see
Just let my love throw a spark
And have a little faith in me
And when the tears you cry
Are all you can believe
Just give these loving arms a try
And have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
And when your secret heart
Cannot speak so easily
Come here darling, from a whisper start
And have a little faith in me
And when your backs against the wall
Just turn around and you, you will see
I will catch you, I will catch your fall
Just have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Cause I’ve been loving you, for such a long, long time
Expecting nothing in return
Just for you to have a little faith in me
You see time, time is our friend
Cause for us, there is no end
And all you gotta do, is have a little faith in me
I will hold you up, I will hold you up
And your love, gives me strength enough to
Have a little faith in me
Hey hey
All you gotta do for me girl
Is have a little faith in me
When the road gets dark
And you can no longer see
Just let my love throw a spark
And have a little faith in me
And when the tears you cry
Are all you can believe
Just give these loving arms a try
And have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
And when your secret heart
Cannot speak so easily
Come here darling, from a whisper start
And have a little faith in me
And when your backs against the wall
Just turn around and you, you will see
I will catch you, I will catch your fall
Just have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Cause I’ve been loving you, for such a long, long time
Expecting nothing in return
Just for you to have a little faith in me
You see time, time is our friend
Cause for us, there is no end
And all you gotta do, is have a little faith in me
I will hold you up, I will hold you up
And your love, gives me strength enough to
Have a little faith in me
Hey hey
All you gotta do for me girl
Is have a little faith in me
Who's Pulling You Down?
I had the pleasure of listening to Fred speak the other day and he was fantastic! I had him come and speak to all our senior staff at Congressional CC in March this year. What an incredible person and a real motivation to all of us. One who leads by example! Enjoy his article.
A Bucket of Crabs
Have you ever seen a bucket full of crabs? They pinch and pull as they struggle to climb over one another to reach the top of the bucket – to freedom. Ask any fisherman and they'll tell you that a bucket full of crabs doesn't need a lid – they simply won't escape.
Why? Well, it's not impossible for a crab to climb to the top, and really if they worked together it would be quite easy. But crabs don't work together...
Instinctively crabs pull each other down-literally.
When one crab breaks away from the pack, reaching its pinchers toward the top of the bucket, the others promptly grab onto the escapee's leg, pulling him back down. That crab is then pushed to the bottom of the pile and his dream of freedom is crushed.
People have a way of acting just like a bucket of crabs. Have you ever decided on a personal goal only to have someone in your life talk you out of it?
Do you have crabs in your life? A crab is...
• The person who discourages you from going to the gym
• The person who scoffs when you mention your goals
• The person who snickers when you choose salad over pizza
The crab mentality says "If I can't have it, then neither can you." When you decide to do something different, to reach for a goal and to improve yourself, the crabs in your life will do their best to hold you back.
Keep Crabs at Bay: When crabs come snapping, remember the following:
1. Ignore them: When someone in your life begins to pull you down with discouraging words, remember that you don't have to listen. Don't let them get into your head. Mentally tune them out or politely remove yourself from the situation. Who are they to tell you what you can or can't achieve?
2. Understand them: Ouch! Insults and put-downs hurt, especially when they come from people that we care about. So what is the deal? Why do your friends, co-workers and even your spouse turn into crabs when you decide to improve your life? Do they really hope that you don't succeed? The truth is that crabs are thinking about themselves-not about you. They see you attempting to better yourself and to change your life. Whether they realize it or not, this scares them. If you better yourself will you still like them? Or will you leave them behind?
3. You hold the power: Even the most persuasive crab doesn't hold a candle to your iron will. When you are ready to change, and you've made up your mind without an inkling of doubt, then 90% of the work is done. Your mind is the most powerful tool at your disposal-don't let a wimpy crab rob it from you.
Are you ready to make a positive change in your life? Don't wait any longer. And don't let a single crab talk you out of it!
A Bucket of Crabs
Have you ever seen a bucket full of crabs? They pinch and pull as they struggle to climb over one another to reach the top of the bucket – to freedom. Ask any fisherman and they'll tell you that a bucket full of crabs doesn't need a lid – they simply won't escape.
Why? Well, it's not impossible for a crab to climb to the top, and really if they worked together it would be quite easy. But crabs don't work together...
Instinctively crabs pull each other down-literally.
When one crab breaks away from the pack, reaching its pinchers toward the top of the bucket, the others promptly grab onto the escapee's leg, pulling him back down. That crab is then pushed to the bottom of the pile and his dream of freedom is crushed.
People have a way of acting just like a bucket of crabs. Have you ever decided on a personal goal only to have someone in your life talk you out of it?
Do you have crabs in your life? A crab is...
• The person who discourages you from going to the gym
• The person who scoffs when you mention your goals
• The person who snickers when you choose salad over pizza
The crab mentality says "If I can't have it, then neither can you." When you decide to do something different, to reach for a goal and to improve yourself, the crabs in your life will do their best to hold you back.
Keep Crabs at Bay: When crabs come snapping, remember the following:
1. Ignore them: When someone in your life begins to pull you down with discouraging words, remember that you don't have to listen. Don't let them get into your head. Mentally tune them out or politely remove yourself from the situation. Who are they to tell you what you can or can't achieve?
2. Understand them: Ouch! Insults and put-downs hurt, especially when they come from people that we care about. So what is the deal? Why do your friends, co-workers and even your spouse turn into crabs when you decide to improve your life? Do they really hope that you don't succeed? The truth is that crabs are thinking about themselves-not about you. They see you attempting to better yourself and to change your life. Whether they realize it or not, this scares them. If you better yourself will you still like them? Or will you leave them behind?
3. You hold the power: Even the most persuasive crab doesn't hold a candle to your iron will. When you are ready to change, and you've made up your mind without an inkling of doubt, then 90% of the work is done. Your mind is the most powerful tool at your disposal-don't let a wimpy crab rob it from you.
Are you ready to make a positive change in your life? Don't wait any longer. And don't let a single crab talk you out of it!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Why do I love South Africa?
Great poem by Ian Macdonald! Enjoy!! Got to LOVE South Africa!!
I love her for the perfection of her days
The crisp Karoo morning
The Joburg winter noon
The late summer Cape Town sunset
The star-filled Free State night
I love her for her people
For our warm smiles
For our resilience
For our I-am-because-we-are
I love her because she delights my senses
Highveld thunderbolts
Jacarandas in bloom
Sunday braais
African sun
Icy sea
I love her raw power, her intensity, her strength
I love her because of how she makes me feel
Sometimes angry, sometimes joyous
Sometimes fearful, sometimes love-filled
Sometimes frustrated, sometimes hopeful
Always alive
I love her because she intrigues me
And challenges me
The Chinese have a curse: "May you live in interesting times"
I see it as a blessing
I love her because she helps me keep things in perspective
By reminding me how privileged I am
Every day
I love her for being a microcosm of the world
A world in one country
For what we can teach the world
About compromise
And sharing
And forgiveness
And tolerance
And hope
I love her because she's imperfect
And full of opportunity
And potential unfulfilled
I love her because she has come so far
And has so much further to go
And whether we ever get there
Will all depend on us
I love her because she's been so good to me
And she inspires me to return the favour
I love her because she's my country
No matter what
I love her because she's my home
And where my soul is at rest
I love her for the perfection of her days
The crisp Karoo morning
The Joburg winter noon
The late summer Cape Town sunset
The star-filled Free State night
I love her for her people
For our warm smiles
For our resilience
For our I-am-because-we-are
I love her because she delights my senses
Highveld thunderbolts
Jacarandas in bloom
Sunday braais
African sun
Icy sea
I love her raw power, her intensity, her strength
I love her because of how she makes me feel
Sometimes angry, sometimes joyous
Sometimes fearful, sometimes love-filled
Sometimes frustrated, sometimes hopeful
Always alive
I love her because she intrigues me
And challenges me
The Chinese have a curse: "May you live in interesting times"
I see it as a blessing
I love her because she helps me keep things in perspective
By reminding me how privileged I am
Every day
I love her for being a microcosm of the world
A world in one country
For what we can teach the world
About compromise
And sharing
And forgiveness
And tolerance
And hope
I love her because she's imperfect
And full of opportunity
And potential unfulfilled
I love her because she has come so far
And has so much further to go
And whether we ever get there
Will all depend on us
I love her because she's been so good to me
And she inspires me to return the favour
I love her because she's my country
No matter what
I love her because she's my home
And where my soul is at rest
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
The 11 Keys to Success
By Julie Jansen, author of "I Don't Know What I Want, But I Know It's Not This"
Great article! Always looking for those traits that one can identify and work on to help you be more successful in life!
In his best-selling book "Emotional Intelligence," Daniel Goleman writes, "There are widespread exceptions to the rule that IQ predicts success ... at best, IQ contributes about 20 percent to the factors that determine life success, which leaves 80 percent to other forces."
Goleman goes on to explain, "These other characteristics are called emotional intelligence: abilities such as being able to motivate oneself and persist in the face of frustrations; to control impulse and delay gratification; to regulate one's moods and keep distress from swamping the ability to think; to empathize and to hope."
This book is full of assessments, tools, resources and how-tos to help guide you in finding new work that will better meet your personal and financial needs. No matter which category you fit in, however, unless you are able to demonstrate and master a specific set of life skills and traits, you will find it difficult to find the work you want.
Observing people in the workplace has yielded 11 keys to success. Time and again, it is apparent that those individuals who exhibit these 11 keys and use them most productively are consistently the most successful and well-liked individuals overall. The good news is that most people are born with at least some of these keys or learned them at a very young age, and all of these keys can be developed or learned later in life.
These are the 11 keys to success:
1. Confidence: an unshakable belief in oneself based on a realistic understanding of one's circumstances; a trait that most people admire in others and strive to acquire themselves.
2. Curiosity: being eager to know and learn; always showing interest and giving special attention to the less obvious; always being the person who says, "I want to know more about . . . ."
3. Decisiveness: arriving at a final conclusion or making a choice and taking action; making decisions with determination even when you don't have all the information you think you need.
4. Empathy: demonstrating caring and understanding of someone else's situation, feelings and motives; always thinking about what it's like to walk in someone else's shoes.
5. Flexibility: being capable of change; responding positively to change; being pliable, adaptable, nonrigid and able to deal with ambiguity.
6. Humor: viewing yourself and the world with enjoyment; not taking life or yourself too seriously; being amusing, amused and, at times, even comical.
7. Intelligence: thinking and working smartly and cleverly; being sharp in your dealings; "not reinventing the wheel"; planning before acting; working efficiently and focusing on quality over quantity. (Important note: This is different from IQ, the common abbreviation for intelligence quotient.)
8. Optimism: expecting the best possible outcome and dwelling on the most hopeful or positive aspects of a situation; believing that the glass is half full rather than half empty.
9. Perseverance: having passion, energy, focus and the desire to get results. Motivation, persistence and hard work are all aspects of perseverance.
10. Respect: remembering that it is just as easy to be nice; protecting another person's self-esteem; treating others in a considerate and courteous manner.
11. Self-awareness: a sophisticated form of consciousness that enables you to regulate yourself by monitoring yourself, observing yourself and changing your thought processes and behaviors.
Which of these keys are among your strengths? Which of the 11 are among your weaknesses? Self-awareness, the 11th key, is really the foundation for understanding yourself. If you are not sure how self-aware you are, ask several people whom you trust which of these 11 keys they believe are your strengths and which are not. Again, while no one person possesses all of these keys in equal amounts, each of them can be developed and improved.
Julie Jansen is the author of "I Don't Know What I Want, But I Know It's Not This." She is a career coach and consultant who is also a frequent speaker at both nonprofit groups and corporations through the United States.
Great article! Always looking for those traits that one can identify and work on to help you be more successful in life!
In his best-selling book "Emotional Intelligence," Daniel Goleman writes, "There are widespread exceptions to the rule that IQ predicts success ... at best, IQ contributes about 20 percent to the factors that determine life success, which leaves 80 percent to other forces."
Goleman goes on to explain, "These other characteristics are called emotional intelligence: abilities such as being able to motivate oneself and persist in the face of frustrations; to control impulse and delay gratification; to regulate one's moods and keep distress from swamping the ability to think; to empathize and to hope."
This book is full of assessments, tools, resources and how-tos to help guide you in finding new work that will better meet your personal and financial needs. No matter which category you fit in, however, unless you are able to demonstrate and master a specific set of life skills and traits, you will find it difficult to find the work you want.
Observing people in the workplace has yielded 11 keys to success. Time and again, it is apparent that those individuals who exhibit these 11 keys and use them most productively are consistently the most successful and well-liked individuals overall. The good news is that most people are born with at least some of these keys or learned them at a very young age, and all of these keys can be developed or learned later in life.
These are the 11 keys to success:
1. Confidence: an unshakable belief in oneself based on a realistic understanding of one's circumstances; a trait that most people admire in others and strive to acquire themselves.
2. Curiosity: being eager to know and learn; always showing interest and giving special attention to the less obvious; always being the person who says, "I want to know more about . . . ."
3. Decisiveness: arriving at a final conclusion or making a choice and taking action; making decisions with determination even when you don't have all the information you think you need.
4. Empathy: demonstrating caring and understanding of someone else's situation, feelings and motives; always thinking about what it's like to walk in someone else's shoes.
5. Flexibility: being capable of change; responding positively to change; being pliable, adaptable, nonrigid and able to deal with ambiguity.
6. Humor: viewing yourself and the world with enjoyment; not taking life or yourself too seriously; being amusing, amused and, at times, even comical.
7. Intelligence: thinking and working smartly and cleverly; being sharp in your dealings; "not reinventing the wheel"; planning before acting; working efficiently and focusing on quality over quantity. (Important note: This is different from IQ, the common abbreviation for intelligence quotient.)
8. Optimism: expecting the best possible outcome and dwelling on the most hopeful or positive aspects of a situation; believing that the glass is half full rather than half empty.
9. Perseverance: having passion, energy, focus and the desire to get results. Motivation, persistence and hard work are all aspects of perseverance.
10. Respect: remembering that it is just as easy to be nice; protecting another person's self-esteem; treating others in a considerate and courteous manner.
11. Self-awareness: a sophisticated form of consciousness that enables you to regulate yourself by monitoring yourself, observing yourself and changing your thought processes and behaviors.
Which of these keys are among your strengths? Which of the 11 are among your weaknesses? Self-awareness, the 11th key, is really the foundation for understanding yourself. If you are not sure how self-aware you are, ask several people whom you trust which of these 11 keys they believe are your strengths and which are not. Again, while no one person possesses all of these keys in equal amounts, each of them can be developed and improved.
Julie Jansen is the author of "I Don't Know What I Want, But I Know It's Not This." She is a career coach and consultant who is also a frequent speaker at both nonprofit groups and corporations through the United States.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Rejections and Reactions
Great article by Rubel Shelly. Definately worth reading. Very insightful!!
Rejection takes many forms. You didn't make the team. The college you want to attend turns you down. The woman you asked out said no. You didn't get the job. You were passed over for a promotion. Your husband left you.
Whatever form it takes, being rejected hurts. It is a blow to your ego and challenges your ability to cope. It makes you question yourself. It makes you angry. In its most extreme and painful forms, it generates self-destructive thoughts and behaviors - ranging from rage to drinking binges to suicide.
The tricky thing about rejection, though, is not to avoid it but to choose a positive way of reacting to it. After all, everybody suffers rejection. That is not meant to minimize anyone's pain at being let go or turned down; it is simply to say that you aren't alone. Others have lived through similar - or worse - things. The only way to avoid the risk of rejection is to fail to live, dream, or dare! And that is a far worse thing than being courageous enough to apply for the position, to accept a leadership challenge, or to invest your heart and getting turned down.
In a recent interview reported in the Wall Street Journal, Warren Buffett spoke of his rejection by Harvard Business School at 19. "The truth is, everything that has happened in my life . . . that I thought was a crushing event at the time, has turned out for the better," he said. With the exception of health problems, he continued, life's setbacks teach "lessons that carry you along. You learn that a temporary defeat is not a permanent one. In the end it can be an opportunity."
In Buffett's case, a second-choice application to Columbia put him under the tutelage of two professor-mentors who taught him the essentials he has used in a successful investment career. More important still, the disappointment he thought his father would feel over his failure turned into a positive expression of "unconditional love" and "unconditional belief in me."
Rejection is the challenge to find a new way, a better path. Rather than curse the job you didn't get or the person who didn't hire you, rethink your skills and find another venue for their use. Instead of hiding from life because a relationship has ended and your heart is broken, learn something about yourself from what has happened and know there is someone who needs what you have to give. Temporary setbacks become permanent defeats only if you allow it.
It isn't rejection that determines the outcome. It is your reaction to it.
Rejection takes many forms. You didn't make the team. The college you want to attend turns you down. The woman you asked out said no. You didn't get the job. You were passed over for a promotion. Your husband left you.
Whatever form it takes, being rejected hurts. It is a blow to your ego and challenges your ability to cope. It makes you question yourself. It makes you angry. In its most extreme and painful forms, it generates self-destructive thoughts and behaviors - ranging from rage to drinking binges to suicide.
The tricky thing about rejection, though, is not to avoid it but to choose a positive way of reacting to it. After all, everybody suffers rejection. That is not meant to minimize anyone's pain at being let go or turned down; it is simply to say that you aren't alone. Others have lived through similar - or worse - things. The only way to avoid the risk of rejection is to fail to live, dream, or dare! And that is a far worse thing than being courageous enough to apply for the position, to accept a leadership challenge, or to invest your heart and getting turned down.
In a recent interview reported in the Wall Street Journal, Warren Buffett spoke of his rejection by Harvard Business School at 19. "The truth is, everything that has happened in my life . . . that I thought was a crushing event at the time, has turned out for the better," he said. With the exception of health problems, he continued, life's setbacks teach "lessons that carry you along. You learn that a temporary defeat is not a permanent one. In the end it can be an opportunity."
In Buffett's case, a second-choice application to Columbia put him under the tutelage of two professor-mentors who taught him the essentials he has used in a successful investment career. More important still, the disappointment he thought his father would feel over his failure turned into a positive expression of "unconditional love" and "unconditional belief in me."
Rejection is the challenge to find a new way, a better path. Rather than curse the job you didn't get or the person who didn't hire you, rethink your skills and find another venue for their use. Instead of hiding from life because a relationship has ended and your heart is broken, learn something about yourself from what has happened and know there is someone who needs what you have to give. Temporary setbacks become permanent defeats only if you allow it.
It isn't rejection that determines the outcome. It is your reaction to it.
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