5 secrets to climbing the ladder faster

Really good article for all of us but especially good for young adults getting into the workforce!! Enjoy!!

CEOs and other top execs share tips for getting where you want to be

By Beth Braccio Hering, Special to CareerBuilder

Sometimes getting from where you are to where you'd like to be careerwise can seem like a daunting task. While time and experience help, other actions can speed the process along. Here, executives in a variety of fields share their tips on how to move up the ladder a bit faster.


Accumulate knowledge

"Knowledge is power," says Linda Matzigkeit, senior vice president of strategic planning and human resources for Children's Healthcare of Atlanta. "You need to read about your industry, know what people are doing and keep your edge on innovation."

Anthony Leone, founder of Energy Kitchen, a restaurant franchise based in New York City, agrees. "Learn as much as you possibly can in your chosen field. Become such an asset to your company that the owners tell themselves, 'We cannot live without this person.'" He further suggests asking your boss what skills would most benefit the company, then going out and learning them "to the point that they just roll off your tongue, like your phone number."

Know how to ask questions

Armed with a solid understanding of their field, workers who gain attention are ones who know how to ask appropriate questions.

"Asking good questions is an art," says Elizabeth Sobol, managing director of IMG Artists, North America, which offers management services to performing artists. "I will be much more impressed if you ask me good ones than if you talk over me, trying to show me how much you know."

Employees should not worry that asking questions is a sign of ineptitude. "Do not be afraid to admit that you do not understand something," says Robert Stack, president and CEO of Community Options Inc., a national nonprofit organization that develops homes and employment for people with disabilities. "There is nothing wrong with not knowing; it is not asking or pretending to understand that always seems to have negative ramifications."

Think outside yourself

People who move up quickly are often ones who are good at examining the needs and goals of the company as a whole, not just in their own particular niche. Matzigkeit says that because her field (health care) is very specialized, it is easy to get deep in your own area. "In order to advance and truly identify ways you can have continued impact in an organization, you need to get connected to the big picture. Only then can you develop your skills, broaden your exposure and find ways to apply your transferable skills."

For managers looking to advance, Randy Murphy, president and CEO of the restaurant franchise Mama Fu's Asian House, suggests wandering around. "Have a presence in your store, and always know what is going on with your guests, employees and overall operations." He also notes that ambitious employees should always be looking for their own replacement. "Develop and train those under you so the team overall does better and so that you have a quality replacement to free you up for promotion to the next level."

Give it your all

Of course, one of the best ways to gain notice is to be a solid performer. "If you execute flawlessly, you will have a solid reputation, which will allow you to network into the right circles," says Brian Curin, president of the footwear chain Flip Flop Shops.

"Go beyond the job description," Stack adds. If you feel you are a person who is supposed to help people with disabilities find jobs, Stark suggests you work extra hours and get creative. "If you are supposed to help with fundraising, go out of your way to ask someone you do not know for support. Always be a little early, and always ask you manager what you can do that means a little extra."

Let your passion shine through

Doing all of these things, from learning as much as possible about a field to regularly giving 100 percent, can involve a great deal of time and effort. Some employees will look at these challenges as obstacles to overcome in order to get ahead. Others will view them with enthusiasm because they truly have a passion for their field. Guess who usually moves up faster?

Sobol says that she is impressed by people "who are fascinated by our business and are clearly always trying to learn and understand more about it. It is not hard to glean who is doing it out of genuine interest and who is not, so don't try to fake it."

For those who lack that passion, maybe it's time to consider looking for a new ladder to climb. The rungs might not seem so hard to navigate when the journey upward is enjoyable.

Daring to Take Risks

Nice little article by Rubel Shelly that is so true! Enjoy!

The first time anything new and creative is proposed, it gets labeled. And the label put on these novel things is likely to be "risky." Can't you just hear it?


"Let me get this straight, Orville. You and Wilbur are building a machine that will do what? Heavier-than-air flying machines are the riskiest hoax anybody ever palmed off on two gullible boys like you Wrights. Get a real job!"

Or maybe it was somebody's harebrained idea of talking pictures, black and white children attending the same school, or people walking on the moon. More than one person was berated simply for giving voice to such "silly" ideas.

It turns out that some of the people who dared to propose such outlandish possibilities are now regarded as geniuses - revolutionaries - heroes. And it was only because they dared to question others and to question themselves. They challenged the limitations others were willing to take for granted.

There is something in your profession or business, your family or church that could be done better. A situation could be more productive. A relationship could be healthier. An objective could be clarified. Some lofty ideal to which all in the group give lip service could actually be implemented. But I warn you up front: Like restoring a car or house, it will take twice as long as you thought, cost far more than you anticipated, and strain every important relationship in your life!

Only you can decide if it will be worth it to undertake something so ambitious and costly. There will be false starts. There will be embarrassing mistakes along the way. But the potential outcome could be as important to your personal situation as the achievements of the Wright brothers, Rosa Parks, and Neil Armstrong were to their time and place.

The problem with our world is not that there are no more frontiers to challenge and conquer. It's that there are too few explorers. There are too few people willing to ask the obvious questions and challenge the traditional wisdom. In a word, too few of us want to take the risks that could make us look stupid.

If you are fortunate enough to have a dream in your heart, be willing to make mistakes in pursuit of it. Be a risk-taker. You just might change the world.

Great Quote

"Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not; it is the first lesson that ought to be learned; and however early a man's training begins, it is probably the last lesson that he learns thoroughly." - Thomas H. Huxley, 1825-1895, Biologist

Want a Great Team? 5 Questions to Ask Yourself

Great article by William C. Taylor. Enjoy!!

Last week, in the spirit of a season in which most of us look at the end of one year, and the start of a New Year, as an opportunity to reflect on our jobs, I offered a set of questions to help you figure out whether it was time to move to a new company or even a new career. This week, in that same spirit, I’d like to address myself to leaders at every level of the organization who want to keep their best people and get the best effort out of them.

Here, then, are five make-or-break questions for leaders who want to make a fresh start for the New Year.

1. Why should great people want to work with you? The best leaders understand that the most talented performers aren’t motivated primarily by money or status. Great people want to work on exciting projects. Great people want to feel like impact players. Put simply, great people want to feel like they’re part of something greater than themselves. It’s the leader’s job to keep everyone energized and determined in a business environment that remains lackluster and uncertain.

2. Do you know a great person when you see one? It’s a lot easier to be the right kind of leader if you’re running a team or department filled with the right kind of people. Indeed, as I reflect on the best workplaces I’ve visited, I’ve come to appreciate how much time and energy leaders spend on who gets to be there. These workplaces may feel different, but the organizing principle is the same: When it comes to evaluating talent, character counts for as much as credentials. Do you know what makes your star performers tick–and how to find more performers who share those attributes?

3. Can you find great people who aren’t looking for you? It’s a common-sense insight that’s commonly forgotten: The most talented performers tend to be in jobs they like, working with people they enjoy, on projects that keep them challenged. The trick is to win over these so-called “passive” job seekers. These people may be outside your company, or they may be in a different department from inside your company, but they won’t work for you unless you work hard to persuade them to join.

4. Are you great at teaching great people how your team or company works and wins? Even the most highly focused specialists (software programmers, graphic designers, marketing wizards) are at their best when they appreciate how the whole organization operates. That’s partly a matter of sharing financial statements: Can every person learn how to think like a businessperson? But it’s mainly a matter of shared understanding: Can smart people work on making everyone else in the organization smarter about the business?

5. Are you as tough on yourself as you are on your people? There’s no question that talented and ambitious people have high expectations–for themselves, for their team or company, for their colleagues. Which is why they can be so tough on their leaders. The ultimate test for people in positions of authority is to demonstrate the same values, attitudes, and mindsets they want to see from the people who report to them.

In other words, as we approach a New Year filled with new worries, problems, and difficulties, the biggest question is the one it’s always been: Are you the kind of leader you’d want to work for?

The Two Choices We Face

Nice article by Jim Rohn. Enjoy!!

Each of us has two distinct choices to make about what we will do with our lives.

The first choice we can make is to be less than we have the capacity to be. To earn less. To have less. To read less and think less. To try less and discipline ourselves less. These are the choices that lead to an empty life. These are the choices that, once made, lead to a life of constant apprehension instead of a life of wondrous anticipation.

And the second choice? To do it all! To become all that we can possibly be. To read every book that we possibly can. To earn as much as we possibly can. To give and share as much as we possibly can. To strive and produce and accomplish as much as we possibly can. All of us have the choice.

To do or not to do. To be or not to be. To be all or to be less or to be nothing
at all.

Like the tree, it would be a worthy challenge for us all to stretch upward and outward
to the full measure of our capabilities. Why not do all that we can, every moment
that we can, the best that we can, for as long as we can?

Our ultimate life objective should be to create as much as our talent and ability
and desire will permit. To settle for doing less than we could do is to fail in
this worthiest of undertakings.

Results are the best measurement of human progress. Not conversation. Not explanation. Not justification. Results! And if our results are less than our potential suggests that they should be, then we must strive to become more today than we were the day before. The greatest rewards are always reserved for those who bring great value to themselves and the world around them as a result of who and what they have become.

10 HARD Ways to Make Your Life Better

Not sure of the author but a great piece. How many of the 10 things listed have you done? Enjoy!!

Some of the most worthwhile things in life aren’t easy. One of the things I dislike most about “power of positive thinking”-style personal development philosophies (such as “The Secret”) is the implication that if you just have the right attitude and the right state of mind, the rest will just fall into place. I think it causes a lot of hurt and disappointment in people who invest their time, effort, and of course, money into these systems and find themselves, one or two or five years down the line, exactly where they were before.


“You must not have wanted it badly enough,” the authors of these philosophies seem to be saying. “There must still be something wrong with you.”

I don’t think that, ultimately, God or the Spirits or the Universe or the world “provides”. I think a lot of times the world puts obstacles in our way, and no amount of positive thinking makes them go away. And I think that a lot of the people who are “successful”, by whatever standard you want to use, have as much “wrong” with them as a lot of the ones who aren’t successful. Maybe more.

In any case, wherever the motivation comes from, the things that really make our lives worth living can be quite difficult. (And who knows, maybe thinking positively helps take some of the edge off of doing the hard stuff?) What’s more, they can take a lot of time to do, and even more time to get right. But I think that doing is the important thing, not the result — throwing yourself into something with all your heart, mind, and soul is the success, not the “growing rich” part.

Here, then, are ten things that are really hard to do but which have an incredible power to make your life better.

1. Start a business

My dad, who has been self-employed almost all his life, used to tell me that “Only jerks work for jerks.” Working for someone else puts you at their mercy and subjects you to their whims — and often their poor management skills. Not only that, but the profit of your labor goes into their pockets.

Starting a business puts you in control of your work life, and your money. It’s hard — small businesses fail every day. But the rewards of even a failed venture can far outweigh the risk. Just knowing that your failure was the result of your own choices — instead of a decision made at a corporate office a thousand miles away — can be liberating.

2. Organize a group

What makes you passionate? Chances are, being around other people who are passionate about the same thing would make you even more passionate about it. Often the only thing keeping you and them from coming together is that nobody’s put out a sign saying “Come and talk!” Getting a group going is a tremendous challenge, and very often the personality of the founder leaves a tremendous mark on the group as a whole. Seeing a group grow and take off can be tremendously awarding — but even failing can teach you important things about leadership.

3. Volunteer

I don’t mean spend Thanksgiving at a soup kitchen, though that can often be challenging enough. What I mean, though, is to make a long-term investment in your community by joining school committees, donating three hours a week in a shelter, hosting a monthly read-along at the library, tutoring at-risk children after school, teaching adult literacy classes at a local prison, or any of a million ways to play a role in the lives of people who need you. Perhaps the most pressing need in our society is for people to take an interest in and engage with their communities.

4. Take an active role in your children’s’ activities

Pick one thing your child does and commit yourself to it. Coach their team, become a Brownie leader, spend a weekend day in the workshop with them, buy a bike and ride along with them — make their passions your own. Don’t crowd them — especially if you have teenagers — but show them that you value something they do by giving them your time and interest.

5. Start a family

I don’t mean have kids. That can be all too easy! Make the decision to have a family, which means to give of yourself fully to another person or several people. Risk being vulnerable by sharing your fears, quirks, and failures with someone else; you might find it makes you stronger than ever before.

This transcends marriage and parenthood. There are lots of people who can’t marry because the law prevents it. There are people who can’t have children. These are not the essential ingredients of family. The essential ingredients are love, mutual respect, trust, and open giving. Find (or make) someone you can share that with.

6. Write a book

It feels really, really good to see your name on a book cover, but it feels even better to know that someone, somewhere, might find his or her life changed by something you’ve written. Share your particular expertise, whether it’s story-telling or woodworking, with the world — or just your family. Time isn’t the big issue (though it is an issue — don’t let the positive thinkists tell you otherwise!) but if you commit yourself to a page a day — a couple hundred words — within a year you’ll have a pretty decent-sized manuscript. That’s something to work with!

7. Learn an art

Take painting lessons, a pottery workshop, a music class, whatever — learn to express yourself and you might find a self worth expressing. Don’t settle for being a “Sunday painter” — devote yourself to an art and master it.

8. Run for office

The world needs smart, dedicated, and upright people to take care of all the fiddly details of making things run. As it happens, running for local office isn’t as challenging as you’d think (which isn’t to say it’s easy) — Michael Moore, the filmmaker, ran for school board while he was still in high school. Just for kicks. And won! It’s fine to have your heart set on the White House or Capital Hill, but try your hand at city councilperson, county registrar, or something closer to home first. And be clean — run for the experience of putting your community on a better path, and not for the power.

9. Take up a sport

Enough with the working out already! Sure, you want to be healthy, but the whole treadmill-running, iPod-listening, 45-minutes-after-work thing is a little anti-social, don’t you think? OK, you want some solitude once in a while — fine. But at least add a sport, something you do with other people. You’ll be spending time interacting with others, while also developing team-building and leadership skills. And, you might learn something from your fellow players.

10. Set an outrageous goal — and achieve it!

The nine tips above are only a handful of ideas about how to make your life better. Maybe you want to record an album, climb a mountain, make the Hajj (the pilgrimage to Mecca), see 20 countries — don’t just settle for tiny goals, push yourself all the way to the edge and figure out how to make the craziest thing you can think of happen. Yes, you’ll have to learn a lot along the way, and plan months or even years in advance — that’s what makes outlandish goals worthwhile.

I don’t want to suggest that you need to do all these things to be happy — doing just one is quite a handful! But if you’re unhappy with your life, if you want to make a change for the better, you need to think big and you need to be ready to put in the work to make it happen. It’s easy to “visualize success” and to “think positively”; it’s not so easy to throw yourself into the unknown and make it work. But if you can make it work, you’ll gain far more than you can imagine.

A MESSAGE FROM TENZIN GYATSO – THE 14TH DALAI LAMA

This came to me from my good friend Dennis Bruyns in South Africa. Pretty special. Enjoy!!!

When I was a boy in Tibet, I felt that my own Buddhist religion must be the best — and that other faiths were somehow inferior. Now I see how naïve I was, and how dangerous the extremes of religious intolerance can be today.

Although intolerance may be as old as religion itself, we still see vigorous signs of its virulence. In Europe, there are intense debates about newcomers wearing veils or wanting to erect minarets and episodes of violence against Muslim immigrants. Radical atheists issue blanket condemnations of those who hold to religious beliefs. In the Middle East, the flames of war are fanned by hatred of those who adhere to a different faith.

Such tensions are likely to increase as the world becomes more interconnected and cultures, peoples and religions become ever more entwined. The pressure this creates tests more than our tolerance — it demands that we promote peaceful coexistence and understanding across boundaries.

Granted, every religion has a sense of exclusivity as part of its core identity. Even so, I believe there is genuine potential for mutual understanding. While preserving faith toward one’s own tradition, one can respect, admire and appreciate other traditions.

An early eye-opener for me was my meeting with the Trappist monk Thomas Merton in India shortly before his untimely death in 1968. Merton told me he could be perfectly faithful to Christianity, yet learn in depth from other religions like Buddhism. The same is true for me as an ardent Buddhist learning from the world’s other great religions.

A main point in my discussion with Merton was how central compassion was to the message of both Christianity and Buddhism. In my readings of the New Testament, I find myself inspired by Jesus’ acts of compassion. His miracle of the loaves and fishes, his healing and his teaching are all motivated by the desire to relieve suffering.

I’m a firm believer in the power of personal contact to bridge differences, so I’ve long been drawn to dialogues with people of other religious outlooks. The focus on compassion that Merton and I observed in our two religions strikes me as a strong unifying thread among all the major faiths. And these days we need to highlight what unifies us.

Take Judaism, for instance. I first visited a synagogue in Cochin, India, in 1965, and have met with many rabbis over the years. I remember vividly the rabbi in the Netherlands who told me about the Holocaust with such intensity that we were both in tears. And I’ve learned how the Talmud and the Bible repeat the theme of compassion, as in the passage in Leviticus that admonishes, “Love your neighbour as yourself.”

In my many encounters with Hindu scholars in India, I’ve come to see the centrality of selfless compassion in Hinduism too — as expressed, for instance, in the Bhagavad Gita, which praises those who “delight in the welfare of all beings.” I’m moved by the ways this value has been expressed in the life of great beings like Mahatma Gandhi, or the lesser-known Baba Amte, who founded a leper colony not far from a Tibetan settlement in Maharashtra State in India. There he fed and sheltered lepers who were otherwise shunned. When I received my Nobel Peace Prize, I made a donation to his colony.

Compassion is equally important in Islam — and recognizing that has become crucial in the years since Sept. 11, especially in answering those who paint Islam as a militant faith. On the first anniversary of 9/11, I spoke at the National Cathedral in Washington, pleading that we not blindly follow the lead of some in the news media and let the violent acts of a few individuals define an entire religion.

Let me tell you about the Islam I know. Tibet has had an Islamic community for around 400 years, although my richest contacts with Islam have been in India, which has the world’s second-largest Muslim population. An imam in Ladakh once told me that a true Muslim should love and respect all of Allah’s creatures. And in my understanding, Islam enshrines compassion as a core spiritual principle, reflected in the very name of God, the “Compassionate and Merciful,” that appears at the beginning of virtually each chapter of the Koran.

Finding common ground among faiths can help us bridge needless divides at a time when unified action is more crucial than ever. As a species, we must embrace the oneness of humanity as we face global issues like pandemics, economic crises and ecological disaster. At that scale, our response must be as one.

Harmony among the major faiths has become an essential ingredient of peaceful coexistence in our world. From this perspective, mutual understanding among these traditions is not merely the business of religious believers — it matters for the welfare of humanity as a whole.

Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama, is the author, most recently, of “Toward a True Kinship of Faiths: How the World’s Religions Can Come Together.”

Putting a Bow on 2010: A Proper Perspective

Great article by one of my favorite authors, John Maxwell. Enjoy and here's to 2011!!

At this stage, the punctuation you put on 2010 will not depend as much on what you do but on your point of view. As you look back on the past year, you likely experienced highs and lows, encountered blessings and victories alongside hardship and heartache. As you wrap up 2010, be sure your attitude toward the last twelve months is providing you with the healthy perspective needed to finish strong.


Here are three suggestions to help you adopt a mindset that makes the most of 2010.

1) See the lessons in every setback.

Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out. ~ John Wooden

As you think back on the past year, don't be ashamed by the mistakes you made. Failures are stepping-stones to success, not proof of inadequacy. If you're not stumbling from time to time, then chances are you're not going anywhere worthwhile.

Failures are not fun, but neither are they fruitless. Opportunities to learn and grow are embedded in every setback we undergo. Instead of dwelling on the disappointment of things going wrong, seize the insights of the experience. By doing so, you'll emerge as a stronger person.

2) Show gratitude for the blessings you've received.

Gratitude is not only the greatest of all virtues but the mother of all the rest.~ Cicero

To cultivate gratitude, Oprah recommends keeping a gratitude journal:

"Every night, list five things that happened this day that you are grateful for. What it will begin to do is change your perspective of your day and your life. If you can learn to focus on what you have, you will always see that the universe is abundant; you will have more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never have enough."

In addition to writing down what you're thankful for, take action to show gratitude to the people who have helped you over the course of the past year. Expressing thankfulness to others encourages them, strengthens your relationship with them, and positions you to receive their goodwill again in the future.

3) Turn the page on the past and take joy in today.

Hoping to get a glimpse into history, an interviewer asked an 87-year old woman, "What was the world like back in your day?" "Hmph!" she responded, "This is my day!" I love her attitude. Instead of being wistful about the years behind her, the elderly lady's mindset was on making the most of the day in front of her.

The close of the calendar year can be a time of reflection. We think back to the happenings of 2010 and assess where we are in life. Although life can only be understood looking backwards, it can only be lived moving forward. No matter what has transpired this past year, today is a blank slate. So set aside any regrets you may have about 2010, enjoy the holiday season, and look forward to a fresh new year.

How to Fulfill Your Second Half Career Dream

Great article for all of you who are considering a second career! Well done Steve - great article!! Enjoy!

By Steve Tobak

December 1, 2010

About ten years ago I was having lunch with a long-time business friend. It was a sunny day in the Bay Area so we sat outside on the patio. I happen to think that el fresco dining - or working outside in general, for that matter - leads to inspired thinking, but that’s just me.

Anyway, I somehow got to spilling some of my crazy ideas of what to do next. You know, what to do after getting fed up, fired, or otherwise burned out at the company I was with at the time. My friend just smiled and said, “Oh, you mean your second half plan.”

“What do you mean, second half plan?” I asked, puzzled.

“You know, you work for 20 or 25 years in the same industry, pretty much doing the same sort of thing, and if you’re lucky enough to be reasonably successful at it, you get to try a different game plan in the second half,” he said. “Maybe something you’re more passionate about.”

It sounded so obvious coming out of his mouth, I wondered why I hadn’t thought of that analogy myself. My friend hit the nail on the head. For as far back as I could remember, I’d been planning, plotting, dreaming, and fantasizing about my second half plan. I just didn’t know what to call it.

So, now that I’m deep into the second half, I can look back and see four factors that not only made it possible, but also made it important for me to do it. So, if there’s something you’ve always wanted to do and it’s not what you do for a living, you’ve got to check out:

How to Fulfill Your Second Half Career Dream

• A goal and a plan. Yogi Berra famously said, “If you don’t know where you’re going, you may not get there.” Let me put it this way. If you don’t have goals and at least some semblance of a plan, you’ll never get there. For one thing, you’ll be leaving things more or less to hope or chance, and you’ll need better odds than that. Then there’s your own inertia - tough to stop without a damn good reason.

• The entrepreneurial lure. Sure, I was proud of my career and the management level I’d achieved, but I had always worked in somebody else’s company, a corporation with a CEO, a board of directors, tons of employees, and a boatload of shareholders. I wanted to plot my own course at my own company. I wanted to be an entrepreneur.

• The need to test yourself. Even though I played a key role in the companies where I worked, including taking risks and achieving great rewards, I was still part of an executive team and there were so many success factors that accomplishments were really company accomplishments. I wanted it to be me, just me, taking on a new profession. I wanted to test my metal on my own without a big corporate safety net.

• A dream. Although I loved high-tech and marketing, I actually had a dream that started decades before that career even began. Since I was a little boy I’d loved reading books, so much that I romanticized the profession. And now that I had something to say and a voice with which to say it, I wanted to put pen to paper and fulfill that dream.

Of course, some people want to go right from working to retirement. Sure, I could have milked the high-tech marketing gig and then retired, but then I’d forever wonder what could have been. So that wasn’t for me. I opted for the second half, instead.

Incidentally, thanks for being part of my second half plan. If you’ve got one of your own, maybe someday I can return the favor.

Ten Life Lessons from Richard Branson

by Dumb Little Man (blog). Enjoy!!


Richard Branson clearly knows a thing or two about success. At 20, he started a mail order shop, and opened a recording studio a short while later. Now, the Virgin brand boasts dozens of companies and Branson’s net worth is estimated to be more than 3 billion pounds sterling.

As well as immense business success, Branson has personally broken a number of world records for high-speed boat and balloon journeys.

Often witty, always insightful, here are some choice Branson quotes to ponder. Motivation often comes from unique places so if one of these strikes a chord, use it!

1. "Ridiculous yachts and private planes and big limousines won't make people enjoy life more."

I suppose we all know deep down that money won’t make us happy. Of course, money is nice – it brings freedom and opportunities and can be a wonderful recourse. It can contribute to happiness, even. But happiness itself is another thing – it’s independent of anything else. Buddha wrote, ‘there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.’

2. "I enjoy every single minute of my life."

For me, this is the most important thing to remember. When you’re enjoying what you do, you’re more likely to do it well and to be successful. Enjoying every situation is an art, a skill, and can be developed. Maybe it comes naturally to some people, but for most of us, it takes a little practice. But believe me, it will make an enormous difference to the quality of your life.

3. "But the majority of things that one could get stressed about, they’re not worth getting stressed about."

I read somewhere that the most common ‘commandment’ given in the bible is not to worry. Being stressed and worried about things is just a waste of energy – it never helps. I highly recommend Dale Carnegie’s book, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. It contains invaluable, practical advice for those of us inclined to worry about things.

4. "You can’t be a good leader unless you generally like people. That is how you bring out the best in them."

Obviously, we live in a social world, and it is almost impossible to physically cut yourself off from other people. But, how we interact with others is vitally important to our happiness and success. Getting along with people – allowing them to be themselves, bringing out the best, encouraging them – these are the hallmarks of good leaders and good friends.

5. "There is no one to follow, there is nothing to copy."

Life is always fresh and new. We are always on the leading edge, and the successes of the future will not rely on old ways of doing things. Thinking outside the box, embracing change, innovating, taking risks – these are the hallmarks of success in all facets of life.

6. "I can honestly say that I have never gone into any business purely to make money. If that is the sole motive, then I believe you are better off doing nothing."

Money is a by-product. It is not a goal in itself. Those who simply chase money end up with nothing of true value, because money in itself does not add anything to life. Money cannot buy the things that matter most in people – wisdom, serenity, leadership, happiness.

7. "I never had any intention of being an entrepreneur."

Funny how things turn out! We certainly need to know where we are going in life, but we also need to remain open to new possibilities. Things have a tendency to change and if we are prepared to sail with the wind, and not fight against it, life can take us on wonderful adventures, and we can end up in the most magical places. I can attest to this in my own life, as I’m sure many readers can.

8. "I made and learned from lots of mistakes."

How else can we learn? Think back to when you learned any new skill – driving a car, cooking, learning a language. Of course you messed it up! Taking risks, trying new things, learning – these things always involve making mistakes. So don’t fear mistakes – be proud of them!

9. "If you can indulge in your passion, life will be far more interesting than if you're just working."


Someone said that if you enjoy your job, you’ll never have to work another day. Not everyone can go out and ‘indulge their passion’ right away, but there is good to found in all jobs, and if we focus on the good things, looking for that which is pleasing and which, perhaps, we can influence, it will expand. This kind of proactively is the basis of Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, another book I highly recommend.

10. "Right now I'm just delighted to be alive and to have had a nice long bath.

This quote reminds me of a scene from the wonderful British comedy movie, Clockwise. John Cleese’s character is trying to get to a conference but, after many trials and tribulations, he ends up stranded in a monastery. Sitting in a room with a monk, covered in mud, clothes torn, he asks, ‘what should I do?’ The monk simply replies: ‘Have a bath, perhaps?’

We can be so focused on the big picture stuff that we forget that life is a series of moments, each of which has its simple pleasures. Whatever life brings, it is good to be thankful for the many little pleasures each day has to bring.

‘When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love’ (Marcus Aurelius)

Under Pressure: Learning to be a "Clutch" Leader

Great leadership article by Sean. Makes so much sense. I have always maintained that leadership is something you learn to do. Enjoy!

By Sean Silverthorne | November 3, 2010

In the sports world, a “clutch” player performs best when the pressure is on, backs are to the wall, and all eyes turned their way. Think Michael Jordan, Joe Montana, Martina Navratilova. When it was all on the line, they not only didn’t wilt, they got better.

Is there such a thing as a clutch leader? Do you know managers or CEOs who rise above when everything is on the line? A bigger question: Can you learn to be clutch?

The latest issue of Harvard Business Review is spun around the topic of military leadership, and there is an interesting blog post on HBR.org about how military cadets learn what it takes to be clutch. New York Times business writer Paul Sullivan, author of  Clutch: Why Some People Excel Under Pressure and Others Don’t recounts a talk he gave at West Point on the subject.

All clutch leaders display five traits, he said: focus, discipline, adaptability, being present, and fear and desire. Read his post for more depth on each of these.

Sullivan’s good news for the rest of us is that organizations can train their performers to respond well to pressure.  Sullivan says there are three things business leaders can learn from cadets:

1. Focused on a goal. “When they graduate they will be deployed to lead a platoon, probably in Afghanistan or Iraq. They know the responsibilities and the risks. And everything they are doing is preparing them for that moment. Do you know what your primary mission is at work?”
2. Continuous improvement. “They work in an organization that is continually striving to be better. When a mistake happens, the Army tries not to let it happen a second time. Are you aligned with the right organization? Or if you’re leading that organization, are you prepared to change things that aren’t working, even if change could be hard or even a reversal of something you implemented?”
3. Practice for success. “These cadets are given the physical and mental training that will help them do their jobs at the highest level. They know you have to be able to perform a task perfectly under normal conditions before you can expect to do it in a stressful situation. Can you say the same thing? Are you able to do your job at a high level every day? If not, then you should not be surprised when you make the wrong decisions under pressure.”

Will following this advice make you the Michael Jordan of your business? Well, maybe not–some people are just hard-coded for success in tough situations. But working at focusing on the objective, adaptability to the environment and improvement of skills sure puts whatever natural abilities you have in the best position to succeed when the going gets tough. Looking through history, who were the greatest clutch leaders? Churchill? Lincoln? Alexander the Great?

Five Ingredients of Personal Growth

Another great article by John C. Maxwell. Enjoy!!

As any farmer knows, the growth of a crop only happens when the right ingredients are present. To harvest plentiful fields, the farmer has to begin by planting the right seed in rich topsoil where sunlight and water can help the seed to sprout, mature, and bear fruit. If any of the ingredients (seeds, topsoil, sunlight, or water) are missing, the crop won't grow.


Growing as a leader also requires the proper ingredients. Unless the right attitudes and actions are cultivated an aspiring leader will sputter and fail rather than growing in influence. Let's look at five basic qualities essential for growth in leadership.

1) Teachability

Arrogance crowds out room for improvement. That's why humility is the starting point for personal growth. As Erwin G. Hall said, "An open mind is the beginning of self-discovery and growth. We can't learn anything new until we can admit that we don't already know everything."

Adopting a beginner's mindset helps you to be teachable. Beginners are aware that they don't know it all, and they proceed accordingly. As a general rule, they're open and humble, noticeably lacking in the rigidity that often accompanies experience and achievement. It's easy enough to have a beginner's mind when you're actually a beginner, but maintaining teachability gets trickier in the long term especially when you've already achieved some degree of success.

2) Sacrifice

Growth as a leader involves temporary loss. It may mean giving up familiar but limiting patterns, safe but unrewarding work, values no longer believed in, or relationships that have lost their meaning. Whatever the case, everything we gain in life comes as a result of sacrificing something else. We must give up to go up.

3) Security

To keep learning throughout life, you have to be willing, no matter what your position is, to say, "I don't know." It can be hard for executives to admit lacking knowledge because they feel as if everyone is looking to them for direction, and they don't want to let people down their people. However, followers aren't searching for perfection in their leaders. They're looking for an honest, authentic, and courageous leader who, regardless of the obstacles facing the organization, won't rest until the problem is solved.

It took me seven years to hit my stride as a communicator. During those seven years I gave some boring speeches, and I felt discouraged at times. However, I was secure enough to keep taking the stage and honing my communication skills until I could connect with an audience. Had I been insecure, then the negative evaluations of others would have sealed my fate and I never would have excelled in my career.


4) Listening

Listen, learn, and ask questions from somebody successful who has gone on before you. Borrow from their experiences so that you can avoid their mistakes and emulate their triumphs. Solicit feedback and take to heart what you're told. The criticism of friends may seem bitter in the short-term but, when heeded, it can save you from falling victim to your blind spots.


5) Application

Knowledge has a limited shelf life. Unless used immediately or carefully preserved, it spoils and becomes worthless. Put the lessons you learn into practice so that your insights mature into understanding.

My Top Four Pointers for Kicking Your Life into High Gear

Another great artcile by Chris Widener.

How would you like to kick your life into high gear? I can help you! Your life doesn’t have to be stale and full of drudgery. Your life can be lived at the highest levels, experiencing joy in every area! I want to give you my top pointers for kicking your life into high gear so you can get moving on the fast track to success!


But first… A secret key to understanding success.

Secret Key: Success isn’t just doing certain things, though we will certainly do certain things to become a certain kind of person. What kind of person you are is what determines your success in life. Yes, you can do right things and achieve a certain level of success, but not the kind of success I am talking about – true life success.

So what are my four tips? Here the are:

Become a person of Vision.

Vision is the spectacular that causes us to carry out the mundane. Vision is what sees us through the dark days so we do not give up and settle for second best. Vision is the grand scheme that we relentlessly pursue. Vision is the goal we aim for. The best way to kick your life into high gear and begin to succeed in what you want to succeed in is to begin to become a person of vision.

The successful person has a fully developed vision of their destination. So let me ask you a simple question:

Do YOU know where you are going?

And not only do you have a vision of where you are going, but is your vision fully developed? Now certainly we cannot know everything that will happen to us in the future, but we can develop the plan fully, allowing in our plan for a variety of contingency plans. “But Chris, that is a lot of work.” It is, but when you look across the board at people who have succeeded much, they are people who laid out most of their life and work before it happened. Life didn’t just happen to them. They didn’t just stumble into success. They planned for it and they created it.

The Tests of Vision

- Is it Clear?

- Is it Concise?

- Is it Inspiring?

- Is it Achievable?

- Is it Easy to Memorize?

Ask your self the questions above and let the answers begin to shape the vision you have for your life. The tighter and clearer the vision you have for your life, the sooner you will kick your life into high gear!

Become a person of Passion.

Passion. Mmmmm…. Passion. Passion is the burning of the heart. It is the unbridled running amuck of the emotions. It is the overwhelming desire to accomplish your goal. It transcends the mental assent to a set of ideals. It drives and thrusts you toward your goal. You MUST have it!

Those who consider themselves intellectuals will underestimate the power of passion. The fact is that the victory isn’t only in the mind. The truths of the mind are driven by the passion of the heart. So by all means, fuel the passion for life that resides deep within your soul.

Passion is like a fire. It can rage or it can smolder. Even if all you have is barely lit embers, you can fan into flame the fire of your passion for life, love, and the goals and vision you have for your life! Commit yourself to becoming a person who lives passionately!

Become a person of Priorities.

As I have worked through the years with people who achieve much and have lives that are constantly in high gear, I notice something amazing about them: They are people with an extraordinary ability to know what the right thing to do is and to actually do it in a timely fashion.

For example, a friend of mine was in charge of a three-day event a few weeks ago that was attended by close to 250,000 people and was featured on national and international television. Four days before the event he told me he had nothing to do and felt guilty. I encouraged him by reminding him that this was actually a sign of his incredible ability to have focused on and lived out his priorities throughout the whole year before the event took place.

When all was said and done, living and working out of his priorities enabled him to kick back and enjoy the fruit of his (and hundreds of his employees) labor. His life was in high gear and because he is a person of priorities, he is enjoying life. You can too.

Discern what the important things are that you must involve yourself in so as to have the life you want. Then relentlessly live out of those priorities. Say “no” to everything else!

Become a person of Excellence.
People who live life in high gear, succeeding in every area of life, are people who place a high emphasis on and strive for excellence in every area of life. Good just won’t do. The best is the target.

Even when they fail or do poorly, they make an inner commitment to do an excellent job the next time. They are people who want, and live for, excellence in their work, their play, their finances, their relationships – everything!

Do you long for a life lived in high gear? One that is filled with joy and achievement? It is possible! Give some time to contemplate how you can make changes in the next few days and weeks in the following areas and see if your life doesn’t kick into high gear!

Vision, Passion, Priorities, Excellence. They are yours for the taking! Go get ‘em!

Graduation Advice

This is a great article by Michael Josephson of www.charactercounts.org. For those of you living in the US and Canada you will just have gone through some kind of graduation ceremony so this is very pertinent information. For those in SA and Australia save this for December. Enjoy and remember to share!!

Whenever I'm asked to give a commencement speech, I'm intimidated by the challenge of finding something to say that's profound and practical without being trite. I haven't succeeded yet, but that hasn't stopped me from trying. So here are some thoughts for graduates:


• By all means, set goals and go after your dreams, but know that your ultimate happiness will depend not on your plans but your ability to cope with unexpected turns and unavoidable ups and downs. You may not get what you thought you wanted, but if you're willing to adapt, you can get something even better.

• Don't ever underestimate the power of character. If you want to win, don't whine. Success is made from hard work, perseverance, and integrity, not luck.

• Listen to both your heart and your head. Pursue your passions, but don't confuse feelings with facts. Almost nothing is as good or as bad as it first appears, and all things change.

• Remember, pain and disappointment are inevitable, but tough times are temporary. The enduring impact of experiences and the true nature of relationships are only revealed by time. Persist with confidence that no negative emotion can withstand your will to be happy.

• Fill your life with laughter, but don't confuse fun or pleasure with happiness. Don't sacrifice a thousand tomorrows for a few today's.

• Live within your means and don't overestimate your ability to resist temptations that threaten your relationships or reputation.

• How you make a living is important, but how you make a life is vital. If you don't pay attention to your personal relationships, no amount career success will be enough.

10 Things I Wish I Would Have Known Before I Went Into the Real World

WOW! This guy is good!! This is another excellent piece that is great for "older" folk like my self to revisit, but even better to share with you kids in or graduating from college. Wish I would have been given this advice at a early age. Well done Chris and THANK YOU!!

I must confess, I laughed when I saw that Maria Shriver has come out with a book called, “Ten Things I Wish I Had Known Before Going Into The Real World.” The real world? Come on, she grew up a Kennedy and married the biggest action movie star of all time! That aside, it got me to thinking: What are ten things I wish I would have known before going out into the real world? So, here they are…


1. Life isn’t fair.
You know, your mother always told you this but as kids we never believe it. We think that somehow mom was two tacos short of a combo plate and that eventually we will go into the real world and show her how those who work hard and do right always do come out on top. Then after about five years we become disenchanted and start to smell the coffee. Life isn’t fair! Why didn’t anybody tell me that? I guess they did, didn’t they? Unfortunately, sometimes the bad guys wins. Sometimes people die early. We shouldn’t take this lightly, but we must be realists. While we accept what comes our way, we still strive to work hard, dream big, and do right.

2. People play favorites.
It is true that it isn’t what you know but who you know that counts. This is because people play favorites. Sometimes it doesn’t matter that you are the best person or have the lowest bid. People will regularly cut deals with people they like or who can scratch their back in return. I guess the lesson to learn is that while we strive to achieve much and have excellent skills, we should also develop a strong network of healthy relationships.

3. People will let you down.
Being a person who does what he says can be a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing because I am able to look at myself in the mirror each day. It is a curse because if you are like that, you will most likely expect that from others and yet they will regularly let you down. People can be bad at keeping their word or doing what is right. I could have relieved a lot of emotional stress if I would have known this one before getting out into the real world.

4. Not everybody wants to grow personally.
I just assumed that everybody loved to learn and to grow. I thought everybody wanted to get better at what they did. The reality is, however, that most people do not. That is why there is something that we call “average.” Most people want to stay where they are. That is why they do. Those who strive to go forward will always be cutting against the grain and will often be resented, even if quietly, for it.

5. The stock market goes down sometimes.
Some of you older folks knew this. But us young whippersnappers, we have been riding it high on the hog for a while. This is good in a sense, but unless you have some common sense of how financial markets work, you can get quite a shock from time to time. You see, before you get into the real world, everything gets handed to you and you really don’t have to work for much. Then you do and you think that every investment will turn out grand – whoops!

6. The older you get, the harder it is to lose weight.
I was always a little “pudgy.” Nothing big, just not like the cover guys of Men’s Health Magazine (You know, the ones that say “Six-pack abs in 20 minutes a day.” I think that means they only eat twenty minutes a day, and it is usually stewed vegetables! But I digress…). If I would have known better, I would have worked harder when I was younger to keep the weight off so I wouldn’t have to work that much harder now!

7. Marriage is work.
A good marriage is more work. When you are young you think, “I’ll find the girl of my dreams and we’ll live happily ever after.” Well, hello! You forget that your spouse is human and you are too, most of the time! To live under the same roof with someone and to work out likes and dislikes, personalities, and schedules, not to mention life goals and the like is HARD WORK! Not drudgery, just work. Yes, there will be plenty of bliss and joy, but marriage will make you work for it!

8. It takes longer to get out of debt than to get into it.
I have never really had much debt. I did take out student loans to pay for school and wow, do they take a long time to get out of. Fortunately I have them paid off but for a while there, it was one of the big checks we wrote every month. Many people think credit cards are great because they can have what they want when they want it. Too bad they don’t realize that twenty minutes of shopping ecstasy will result in months or years of payments.

9. It doesn’t work to try to please others.
I have always wanted people to like me. Many times, I wanted them to like me too much. That isn’t good. This doesn’t work because I realized that most of the time, people liking or disliking you has nothing to do whatsoever with rational thought. Some people will dislike you, no matter how well you have done, and others will love you, warts and all. So I do my best and let the chips fall where they may – now.

10. You need to tend to your spiritual, emotional, and physical health or you will crash hard.
If you don’t take time for yourself, both inwardly and outwardly, your body will catch up with you. You can take time for yourself by choice or not. It is much more fun by choice! Life is hard and it can and will weigh you down. We need to tend the fires of spirit and mind while keeping our physical bodies tuned for success as well. If not, our bodies break down.

Bonus: In spite of the above, life is very much worth it! Some of the above may seem like bummers. They aren’t the “positive” things we like to focus on, but they are true. Being positive doesn’t mean sticking your head in the ground in order to avoid the negative of life. What it means is that we are realists who understand the negative aspects of life and choose to be optimists instead. We deal with the negative and pursue the positive. That is why I can say that life is worth living no matter how expensive or painful the lessons I have had to learn have been. Life is good and I can make it better!

So I had to learn some lessons AFTER I got into the real world. So what? At least I learned them and can live the rest of my life to the fullest from now on! I hope you can too!

by Chris Widener

The Big Deal - That Shouldn't Have Been

This is a great golf story! Definately worth the read!! Enjoy!!

Rubel Shelly is a Preacher and Professor of Religion and Philosophy located in Rochester Hills, Michigan. In addition to church and academic responsibilities, he has worked actively with such community projects as Habitat for Humanity, American Red Cross, From Nashville With Love, Metro (Nashville) Public Schools, Faith Family Medical Clinic, and Operation Andrew Ministries. To learn more about Rubel please go to: www.RubelShelly.com

The "big deal" in this case has nothing to do with Goldman Sachs, Wall Street, health care, or government bailouts. It did involve money, though, and that is part of the reason it made headlines. A couple of weeks ago, Brian Davis told the truth, acted with integrity, and forfeited $411,000 in the process.

You likely know the story. It happened during the Verizon Heritage golf tournament. Brian Davis and Jim Furyk were on the first hole of a playoff, after finishing the day with identical scores. Davis had holed a clutch 18-foot putt for birdie on the final hole to force the playoff. But he ran into trouble quickly.

Davis was in a hazard that had clusters of reeds all around. He took his time and pondered his options. Playing a 14-time PGA Tour winner such as Furyk, Davis - who has yet to win a PGA event - needed to make a spectacular shot. He and his caddie looked it over carefully. He struck the ball. Then he immediately called a PGA official named Slugger White to come over. He told him that he might have grazed one of the reeds on his backswing.

Nobody had called it. The officials standing nearby had not seen anything amiss. Jim Furyk had not protested. But Davis, although he hadn't felt it through the shaft of his club, believed he had seen it out of the corner of his eye.

White went to the TV monitor. The touch between club and reed was so slight that it took slow-motion replay to spot it. But there it was! And PGA Rule 13.4 - which prohibits moving any "impediment" with the start of a player's backswing - says that a player is to be assessed a two-stroke penalty for such an infraction. And that was the end of Davis' chance to win his first PGA event.

The honesty of Brian Davis became a "big deal" immediately. In some ways, it overshadowed the tournament outcome. E-mails and phone calls flooded in to Davis. Members of the PGA's senior tour phoned to thank him for restoring some sense of integrity to their sport. Teachers had students write essays. "He's class," said Slugger White of the man he had to penalize, "first class!"

As Davis himself admitted in the aftermath of his action, though, it should not have been a big deal at all. That's what Rule 13.4 says, and golf is played by rules. Shortcuts, cheating, taking advantage of one's opponent, winning by doing whatever you must - they are all part of the lore of life these days. But they have no place in a person of character. Davis wants to win, but fair and square.

That there was such a fuss over a golfer doing what he was supposed to do may be a commentary on the low expectations we have of one another.

"Choose a good reputation over great riches; being held in high esteem is better than silver or gold" (Proverbs 22:1 NLT).

Rubel Shelly

Rejections and Reactions

Great article by Rubel Shelly. Definately worth reading. Very insightful!!

Rejection takes many forms. You didn't make the team. The college you want to attend turns you down. The woman you asked out said no. You didn't get the job. You were passed over for a promotion. Your husband left you.


Whatever form it takes, being rejected hurts. It is a blow to your ego and challenges your ability to cope. It makes you question yourself. It makes you angry. In its most extreme and painful forms, it generates self-destructive thoughts and behaviors - ranging from rage to drinking binges to suicide.

The tricky thing about rejection, though, is not to avoid it but to choose a positive way of reacting to it. After all, everybody suffers rejection. That is not meant to minimize anyone's pain at being let go or turned down; it is simply to say that you aren't alone. Others have lived through similar - or worse - things. The only way to avoid the risk of rejection is to fail to live, dream, or dare! And that is a far worse thing than being courageous enough to apply for the position, to accept a leadership challenge, or to invest your heart and getting turned down.

In a recent interview reported in the Wall Street Journal, Warren Buffett spoke of his rejection by Harvard Business School at 19. "The truth is, everything that has happened in my life . . . that I thought was a crushing event at the time, has turned out for the better," he said. With the exception of health problems, he continued, life's setbacks teach "lessons that carry you along. You learn that a temporary defeat is not a permanent one. In the end it can be an opportunity."

In Buffett's case, a second-choice application to Columbia put him under the tutelage of two professor-mentors who taught him the essentials he has used in a successful investment career. More important still, the disappointment he thought his father would feel over his failure turned into a positive expression of "unconditional love" and "unconditional belief in me."

Rejection is the challenge to find a new way, a better path. Rather than curse the job you didn't get or the person who didn't hire you, rethink your skills and find another venue for their use. Instead of hiding from life because a relationship has ended and your heart is broken, learn something about yourself from what has happened and know there is someone who needs what you have to give. Temporary setbacks become permanent defeats only if you allow it.

It isn't rejection that determines the outcome. It is your reaction to it.

Live Backwards!

Nice article. Makes sense to me! Enjoy!


Ben's first duty as a new pastor was to conduct a funeral service for Albert, a man who had died in his eighties. Since he didn't know the deceased, he invited members of the congregation to say a few kind words about Albert.

No one budged. "Many of you knew Albert for years," Ben prompted them. "Surely someone can say something nice."

After an uncomfortable pause, a voice from the back of the room said, "Well, his brother was worse."

If you died tomorrow, what would people say about you? Would their comments make you proud of the way you lived and the choices you made?

There's an old saying: "If you want to know how to live your life, think about what you'd like people to say about you after you die.and live backwards."

Thinking about the legacy we want to leave can help us keep our priorities straight. When the end is near, it's not likely any of us will say, "I wish I'd spent more time at the office." Unfortunately, many of us only begin to realize the value of the time we have after we've frittered much of it away in shallow ruts going nowhere important.

It's hard to think now what will matter later. But doing so can dramatically improve our chances of living a full and meaningful life with few regrets.

Knowing how we want to be remembered also allows us to make a strategic plan for our lives. How much wiser would our choices be if we had the wisdom and discipline to regularly ask ourselves whether all the things we do and say are taking us where we want to be at the end?

In a sense, we write our eulogies by the choices we make every day.

by Michael Josephson

www.charactercounts.org

Always room for a couple of root beers!

Not sure who the author is of this one, but it's really good!!

A wise professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty apple sauce jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was.
So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.

He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous - yes.

The professor then produced two cans of root beer from under the table and proceeded to pour their entire contents into the jar - effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - your family, your boyfriend or girlfriend, your health, and your children - Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter, like your job, your house, and your car.

The sand is everything else or “the small stuff."

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Call your parents often. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your boyfriend or girlfriend out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, give a dinner party and fix the disposal.

"Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the root beer represented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of root beers."

The Perfume

Great story! Not sure of the author. Enjoy!


As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth . Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the otherchildren, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath . In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant.

It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad redpen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at thetop of his papers.

At the school, where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.

Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a brightchild with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly andhas good manners... he is a joy to be around."

His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."

His third grade teacher wrote, " His mother's death has been hard on him He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."

Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class."

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's ..

His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing , and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume .. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist . Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to." After the children left, she cried for at least an hour.

On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him , the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets."
A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy , telling her that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors . He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further . The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had but now his name was a little longer....the letter was signed, Theodore F.Stoddard , MD.

The story does not end there.

You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom.

Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make adifference."

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."