By Gene Yasuda
Call it a cavalry of round-bellies and graybeards.
For years now, a stagnant game has been awaiting the arrival of club-wielding baby boomers. Experts promised the unprecedented generational wave, nearly 80 million strong, would take up golf as they entered their golden years and revitalize golf courses that often resemble abandoned lots.
By all accounts, these fiftysomethings are doing their golfing duty. They now are responsible for about half of all rounds played in the U.S., and as they grow older and bask in the luxury of free time, they’re teeing it up even more.
What’s perplexing is that participation still is sliding. Since 2005, the total number of golfers has declined steadily, from 30 million to 27.1 million in 2009, according to the National Golf Foundation. Rounds played is trending the wrong way, too – off nearly 3 percent during the same period.
So, why isn’t golf reveling in its senior moment?
Because it’s suffering losses in another demographic that may prove far more vital: golfers ages 25-44.
In 1990, there were approximately 12.4 million golfers in that age group; by 2005, their ranks had fallen to 9.2 million – an alarming 26 percent drop. According to industry consultant Stuart Lindsay, who attributed the data to the National Sporting Goods Association, the fall-off bluntly underscores that golf isn’t appealing enough to the sweet spot of the U.S. population. He says the participation rate for that age group is about 20 percent lower today.
“All the boomers are doing is masking what’s really leaking in golf,” he says.
The situation is hurting golf, but the real pain likely is yet to come, considering the link between aging golfers and their increased frequency of play.
“Twenty years from now, there’ll be far less demand,” warns Lindsay, principal of Edgehill Golf Advisors, which conducts market research for golf courses and industry groups. “It could be catastrophic.”
Golf finds itself in this predicament for one main reason: In a day and age when free moments – let alone hours – are scarcer than ever, the game has become a time-sucking affair. Simply put, golf hasn’t adapted to sweeping societal changes, including the predominance of dual-income households. The increase in the number of married women in the workplace has redefined child-rearing and the division of household labor.
“Helicopter parenting” – hopping from one child’s activity to another – saps potential time on the links. And when these harried folks finally do get a chance to play, they’re quickly discouraged from going out again, thanks to five-hour-plus rounds.
Indeed, slow play is an epidemic. Blame it, in part, on developers’ desire to build tougher tracks: 70 percent of courses built in the U.S. between 1990 and 2006 had a slope rating of 125 or more. By comparison, the average U.S. slope rating has been hovering around 119.
It also hasn’t helped that golf’s biggest promoter perpetuates plodding. “We’ve depended way too much on the PGA Tour to market our product for us,” Lindsay says. “And frankly, all they do is market slow play.”
Much of golf’s woes are self-inflicted, and for years, industry leaders, acknowledging their mistakes, have pledged improvements – to make the game faster, family friendly, more affordable. But lip service won’t suffice anymore. Many of the proposed fixes actually work; it’s just a matter of copying those who already have put them in play.
For example, the Cincinnati Recreation Commission’s seven municipal courses in 2006 began a simple program: One paying adult entitles an accompanying junior to play for free. That means a parent and child can play nine holes during off-peak hours for $13.50.
“We started it to boost juniors, but we quickly realized it was allowing families to play together,” says Rob Higby, director of golf for the commission’s facilities, which are managed by Billy Casper Golf. The program has grown at an average rate of 26 percent annually since its inception.
Others are rethinking how golfers can consume 18 holes.
At Ka’anapali Golf Resort in Hawaii, guests can play “Golf My Way,” which enables them to enjoy a round in “portions” that best suit them. For example, they might play six holes at a time over three days. Such unconventional approaches likely won’t appeal to traditionalists. But that’s the point.
“If you do what you always did, you won’t even get what you always got,” says Scott Anderson, president of Kohler Co.’s Hospitality & Real Estate Group, which includes Whistling Straits.
That maxim should be heeded. Otherwise, there’s a chance that no one will be left to rescue golf.
Showing posts with label golf. Show all posts
Showing posts with label golf. Show all posts
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
The Big Deal - That Shouldn't Have Been
This is a great golf story! Definately worth the read!! Enjoy!!
Rubel Shelly is a Preacher and Professor of Religion and Philosophy located in Rochester Hills, Michigan. In addition to church and academic responsibilities, he has worked actively with such community projects as Habitat for Humanity, American Red Cross, From Nashville With Love, Metro (Nashville) Public Schools, Faith Family Medical Clinic, and Operation Andrew Ministries. To learn more about Rubel please go to: www.RubelShelly.com
The "big deal" in this case has nothing to do with Goldman Sachs, Wall Street, health care, or government bailouts. It did involve money, though, and that is part of the reason it made headlines. A couple of weeks ago, Brian Davis told the truth, acted with integrity, and forfeited $411,000 in the process.
You likely know the story. It happened during the Verizon Heritage golf tournament. Brian Davis and Jim Furyk were on the first hole of a playoff, after finishing the day with identical scores. Davis had holed a clutch 18-foot putt for birdie on the final hole to force the playoff. But he ran into trouble quickly.
Davis was in a hazard that had clusters of reeds all around. He took his time and pondered his options. Playing a 14-time PGA Tour winner such as Furyk, Davis - who has yet to win a PGA event - needed to make a spectacular shot. He and his caddie looked it over carefully. He struck the ball. Then he immediately called a PGA official named Slugger White to come over. He told him that he might have grazed one of the reeds on his backswing.
Nobody had called it. The officials standing nearby had not seen anything amiss. Jim Furyk had not protested. But Davis, although he hadn't felt it through the shaft of his club, believed he had seen it out of the corner of his eye.
White went to the TV monitor. The touch between club and reed was so slight that it took slow-motion replay to spot it. But there it was! And PGA Rule 13.4 - which prohibits moving any "impediment" with the start of a player's backswing - says that a player is to be assessed a two-stroke penalty for such an infraction. And that was the end of Davis' chance to win his first PGA event.
The honesty of Brian Davis became a "big deal" immediately. In some ways, it overshadowed the tournament outcome. E-mails and phone calls flooded in to Davis. Members of the PGA's senior tour phoned to thank him for restoring some sense of integrity to their sport. Teachers had students write essays. "He's class," said Slugger White of the man he had to penalize, "first class!"
As Davis himself admitted in the aftermath of his action, though, it should not have been a big deal at all. That's what Rule 13.4 says, and golf is played by rules. Shortcuts, cheating, taking advantage of one's opponent, winning by doing whatever you must - they are all part of the lore of life these days. But they have no place in a person of character. Davis wants to win, but fair and square.
That there was such a fuss over a golfer doing what he was supposed to do may be a commentary on the low expectations we have of one another.
"Choose a good reputation over great riches; being held in high esteem is better than silver or gold" (Proverbs 22:1 NLT).
Rubel Shelly
Rubel Shelly is a Preacher and Professor of Religion and Philosophy located in Rochester Hills, Michigan. In addition to church and academic responsibilities, he has worked actively with such community projects as Habitat for Humanity, American Red Cross, From Nashville With Love, Metro (Nashville) Public Schools, Faith Family Medical Clinic, and Operation Andrew Ministries. To learn more about Rubel please go to: www.RubelShelly.com
The "big deal" in this case has nothing to do with Goldman Sachs, Wall Street, health care, or government bailouts. It did involve money, though, and that is part of the reason it made headlines. A couple of weeks ago, Brian Davis told the truth, acted with integrity, and forfeited $411,000 in the process.
You likely know the story. It happened during the Verizon Heritage golf tournament. Brian Davis and Jim Furyk were on the first hole of a playoff, after finishing the day with identical scores. Davis had holed a clutch 18-foot putt for birdie on the final hole to force the playoff. But he ran into trouble quickly.
Davis was in a hazard that had clusters of reeds all around. He took his time and pondered his options. Playing a 14-time PGA Tour winner such as Furyk, Davis - who has yet to win a PGA event - needed to make a spectacular shot. He and his caddie looked it over carefully. He struck the ball. Then he immediately called a PGA official named Slugger White to come over. He told him that he might have grazed one of the reeds on his backswing.
Nobody had called it. The officials standing nearby had not seen anything amiss. Jim Furyk had not protested. But Davis, although he hadn't felt it through the shaft of his club, believed he had seen it out of the corner of his eye.
White went to the TV monitor. The touch between club and reed was so slight that it took slow-motion replay to spot it. But there it was! And PGA Rule 13.4 - which prohibits moving any "impediment" with the start of a player's backswing - says that a player is to be assessed a two-stroke penalty for such an infraction. And that was the end of Davis' chance to win his first PGA event.
The honesty of Brian Davis became a "big deal" immediately. In some ways, it overshadowed the tournament outcome. E-mails and phone calls flooded in to Davis. Members of the PGA's senior tour phoned to thank him for restoring some sense of integrity to their sport. Teachers had students write essays. "He's class," said Slugger White of the man he had to penalize, "first class!"
As Davis himself admitted in the aftermath of his action, though, it should not have been a big deal at all. That's what Rule 13.4 says, and golf is played by rules. Shortcuts, cheating, taking advantage of one's opponent, winning by doing whatever you must - they are all part of the lore of life these days. But they have no place in a person of character. Davis wants to win, but fair and square.
That there was such a fuss over a golfer doing what he was supposed to do may be a commentary on the low expectations we have of one another.
"Choose a good reputation over great riches; being held in high esteem is better than silver or gold" (Proverbs 22:1 NLT).
Rubel Shelly
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Golf’s Colorful Language Goes With Any Green
You have to be a golfer to understand!! Enjoy!!
By BILL PENNINGTON
Do you speak golf?
Do you play for Barkies? Or Arnies? Do you avail yourself of the breakfast ball and love a good game of Bingo, Bango, Bongo?
Have you found yourself dormie, stymied, plugged or in the cabbage?
Have you dubbed it, shrimped it, shanked it, dinked it or duck-hooked it? And do you know the difference? Have you hit a scooter? How about one in the side door?
Are you a sandbagger? A pigeon? A player? A hooker?
Do you know who lovingly called his putter Billy Baroo?
In other words, are you conversant in the dialect of golf? Do you not only play golf but also revel in all of its idiosyncratic, peculiar lingo?
I hope so. It’s the code of the tribe, sometimes the best part of being in the weird golf fraternity. Nothing can assuage the misery of a poor shot like a good, self-deprecating idiom for your idiocy.
Golfers could say, “Oh, that’s a bad shot.” But why, when they can say they chunked it, skulled it or smothered it?
And golf linguistics are not just for your bad shots. In fact, most of the terms deal with making fun of your partners’ shots. Because theirs are never simply in trouble, in a pond or out of bounds. They are in jail, rinsed or Oscar Bravo.
This vernacular is centuries old, passed on and continually abridged and expanded, especially with references that are amazingly relevant to pop culture. There are sayings linked to Rush Limbaugh and Nancy Pelosi (think of shots going right or left), Osama Bin Laden (think of all the bunkers on a golf course) and Paris Hilton (think of anything). O.K., many of these references are too risqué to be repeated here, but it makes me feel good that golf — a so-called stodgy game invented five centuries ago — can stay current.
It also proves to me something nongolfers often fail to grasp: old-fashioned golf is at its heart an old-fashioned social exercise.
“Golf lingo developed because the golf course is a place where people get to know each other, and the game is so hard it especially leads to teasing, joking and ragging on each other,” said Randy Voorhees, the author of “The Little Book of Golf Slang.”
“The lingo has persisted because golf is a game you play for a lifetime,” he said. “So parents pass the terms on to their children, or older players use this colorful vernacular around younger players, and it becomes a natural way of speaking on the golf course.”
The first time you hit a ball on the green and someone calls for it to “sit,” does that not perfectly describe what you want the ball to do? If you hit a ball in the water and someone says it is “wet,” does that not forevermore seem like the best portrayal of its position and your disposition?
“A lot of golf terms actually evoke an image of what is happening out there,” Voorhees said. “You can carve, feather or gouge a shot, and once you learn to perform those shots, they are words that exactly describe what you’re trying to do.”
The golf lexicon has not developed by accident. David Normoyle, the assistant director of the United States Golf Association Museum, cited three primary reasons.
“One, golf is played over such a vast, irregular surface, we need a myriad of descriptions for play on a golf course,” he said. “Two, golf is truly a global game and has many local variations and flavors. Lastly, and perhaps more than anything else, golf has had great poets, and they have tried to capture the essence of the game.”
Who knew that having “the shanks” was meant to be literature?
Now if you’re a beginner or a casual player, you may find golfspeak to be another intimidating barrier to feeling comfortable on the course — a verbal version of golf’s code of behavioral etiquettes. But don’t fret.
There are no secret passwords in the pro shop or trick questions posed on the first tee. People are engrossed in their own games. Don’t play slowly or throw your clubs, and no one will care much about your golf vocabulary.
“Keep your ears open; you’ll learn it all as you go,” Voorhees said. “Soon it will flow out of your mouth naturally.”
I would make one suggestion: visit the local municipal golf course. A lot about golf can be learned there in general, but without question, it is where you will hear the richest, most saucy golf phrases.
But please, don’t be a mute out there. You may come up with a new term for our treasured golf glossary.
Speaking of which, I don’t have time to give definitions for every piece of golf slang used in this article. If you really need translations, they won’t be too hard to come by.
But I can’t leave anyone hanging about Billy Baroo, because “Caddyshack” references are sacred in the cult. The great Ted Knight, as Judge Smails, called his lucky putter Billy Baroo. Years later, that commendation held such merit that it became the name of a line of real putters.
If you are new to golf, understanding the Smails character’s role in the American game is pivotal. Watch the movie some Saturday night after a great, or horrible, round. You’ll feel better — and understand the lingo a bit better.
It also may help explain why you’ve seen someone stand on the first tee and pause to announce, “Gambling is illegal at Bushwood, sir, and I never slice.”
Next time, you’ll be able to bet a hundred bucks they slice it into the woods.
In Layman’s Terms
NASSAU A group game with three bets: low score on the front nine, back nine and for the full 18 holes.
BARKIES A bet won for making par after hitting a tree.
ACEY DEUCEY A group betting game in which the low scorer on each hole (ace) wins money from the other three players and the high scorer (deuce) loses money to the other three players.
BINGO, BANGO, BONGO A points game awarding a point to the first player on the green (bingo), a point for being closest to the hole when everyone has reached the green (bango) and a point for being the first in the hole (bongo).
By BILL PENNINGTON
Do you speak golf?
Do you play for Barkies? Or Arnies? Do you avail yourself of the breakfast ball and love a good game of Bingo, Bango, Bongo?
Have you found yourself dormie, stymied, plugged or in the cabbage?
Have you dubbed it, shrimped it, shanked it, dinked it or duck-hooked it? And do you know the difference? Have you hit a scooter? How about one in the side door?
Are you a sandbagger? A pigeon? A player? A hooker?
Do you know who lovingly called his putter Billy Baroo?
In other words, are you conversant in the dialect of golf? Do you not only play golf but also revel in all of its idiosyncratic, peculiar lingo?
I hope so. It’s the code of the tribe, sometimes the best part of being in the weird golf fraternity. Nothing can assuage the misery of a poor shot like a good, self-deprecating idiom for your idiocy.
Golfers could say, “Oh, that’s a bad shot.” But why, when they can say they chunked it, skulled it or smothered it?
And golf linguistics are not just for your bad shots. In fact, most of the terms deal with making fun of your partners’ shots. Because theirs are never simply in trouble, in a pond or out of bounds. They are in jail, rinsed or Oscar Bravo.
This vernacular is centuries old, passed on and continually abridged and expanded, especially with references that are amazingly relevant to pop culture. There are sayings linked to Rush Limbaugh and Nancy Pelosi (think of shots going right or left), Osama Bin Laden (think of all the bunkers on a golf course) and Paris Hilton (think of anything). O.K., many of these references are too risqué to be repeated here, but it makes me feel good that golf — a so-called stodgy game invented five centuries ago — can stay current.
It also proves to me something nongolfers often fail to grasp: old-fashioned golf is at its heart an old-fashioned social exercise.
“Golf lingo developed because the golf course is a place where people get to know each other, and the game is so hard it especially leads to teasing, joking and ragging on each other,” said Randy Voorhees, the author of “The Little Book of Golf Slang.”
“The lingo has persisted because golf is a game you play for a lifetime,” he said. “So parents pass the terms on to their children, or older players use this colorful vernacular around younger players, and it becomes a natural way of speaking on the golf course.”
The first time you hit a ball on the green and someone calls for it to “sit,” does that not perfectly describe what you want the ball to do? If you hit a ball in the water and someone says it is “wet,” does that not forevermore seem like the best portrayal of its position and your disposition?
“A lot of golf terms actually evoke an image of what is happening out there,” Voorhees said. “You can carve, feather or gouge a shot, and once you learn to perform those shots, they are words that exactly describe what you’re trying to do.”
The golf lexicon has not developed by accident. David Normoyle, the assistant director of the United States Golf Association Museum, cited three primary reasons.
“One, golf is played over such a vast, irregular surface, we need a myriad of descriptions for play on a golf course,” he said. “Two, golf is truly a global game and has many local variations and flavors. Lastly, and perhaps more than anything else, golf has had great poets, and they have tried to capture the essence of the game.”
Who knew that having “the shanks” was meant to be literature?
Now if you’re a beginner or a casual player, you may find golfspeak to be another intimidating barrier to feeling comfortable on the course — a verbal version of golf’s code of behavioral etiquettes. But don’t fret.
There are no secret passwords in the pro shop or trick questions posed on the first tee. People are engrossed in their own games. Don’t play slowly or throw your clubs, and no one will care much about your golf vocabulary.
“Keep your ears open; you’ll learn it all as you go,” Voorhees said. “Soon it will flow out of your mouth naturally.”
I would make one suggestion: visit the local municipal golf course. A lot about golf can be learned there in general, but without question, it is where you will hear the richest, most saucy golf phrases.
But please, don’t be a mute out there. You may come up with a new term for our treasured golf glossary.
Speaking of which, I don’t have time to give definitions for every piece of golf slang used in this article. If you really need translations, they won’t be too hard to come by.
But I can’t leave anyone hanging about Billy Baroo, because “Caddyshack” references are sacred in the cult. The great Ted Knight, as Judge Smails, called his lucky putter Billy Baroo. Years later, that commendation held such merit that it became the name of a line of real putters.
If you are new to golf, understanding the Smails character’s role in the American game is pivotal. Watch the movie some Saturday night after a great, or horrible, round. You’ll feel better — and understand the lingo a bit better.
It also may help explain why you’ve seen someone stand on the first tee and pause to announce, “Gambling is illegal at Bushwood, sir, and I never slice.”
Next time, you’ll be able to bet a hundred bucks they slice it into the woods.
In Layman’s Terms
NASSAU A group game with three bets: low score on the front nine, back nine and for the full 18 holes.
BARKIES A bet won for making par after hitting a tree.
ACEY DEUCEY A group betting game in which the low scorer on each hole (ace) wins money from the other three players and the high scorer (deuce) loses money to the other three players.
BINGO, BANGO, BONGO A points game awarding a point to the first player on the green (bingo), a point for being closest to the hole when everyone has reached the green (bango) and a point for being the first in the hole (bongo).
Friday, May 22, 2009
The Golf Lesson
Another great life story told through Golf!!!! Enjoy!
by Michael T. Smith
Michael lives and works in Caldwell, Idaho with his beautiful wife Ginny. He writes in his spare time and is currently working on a collection of his stories to be called, "From My Heart to Yours." To read more of Michael's stories go to: http://ourecho.com/biography-353-Michael-Timothy-Smith.shtml#stories or go to: http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?m=1101828445578&p=oi to sign up and receive his stories.
"Do you golf, Mike?" Jim asked.
"Not much, but..." I began to tell him three stories I never tire of telling.
***************************
Except for a few birds, the course was quiet. It was a great morning for golf: no one ahead to slow me down, no one behind to rush me forward. I looked down the hill. The fifth hole of the nine-hole, par 3 course lay below and one hundred and seventy yards away. The flag hung limp in the still air. A small knoll at the front of the green hid the cup. I checked my score card again. It was definitely a good day. After four holes, I was only six over par. I grabbed my seven iron, approached the tee, placed my ball, glanced at the flag, and positioned myself. After another look at the flag, I drew my club back and swung. The iron whistled through the air, struck the ball at an angle, and drove it spinning through the air. It started toward the hole, but the spin and aerodynamics took control. I watched helplessly as the ball sliced to the right, away from the hole, and head for the tall grass that separated the fairway from the forest. It slipped between the blades of grass, disappeared, bounced off something hard, and reappeared. I stood in shock. The ball bounced across the fairway, jumped over a sand trap, leaped onto the green, and headed toward the flag. It disappeared behind the small knoll. I waited for it to reappear. It didn't. "That must be close to the hole." I thought. I grabbed my clubs, walked down the hill, and approached the green. My eyes remained focused on the area around the flag. My ball was nowhere in sight, but the cup was still hidden by the knoll. I climbed to the top of the knoll. The cup came into view, but my ball didn't. The green was empty. I didn't think the ball rolled fast enough to go over the edge of the green, but I walked around to the back anyway. My ball wasn't there. I turned and look at the cup again. "It couldn't have?" My heart began to pound as I walked closer to the hole. There was my ball, nestled close to the pin at the bottom of the cup. It remains the only hole-in-one I ever got. There were no witnesses to my feat.
***************************
Jack and I stood at the tee-off to the first hole of an eighteen-hole, par-three course. My best friend took his first shot and came up short of the green. I teed off and watched my ball land a little short and slightly to the right of the green. Jack's second shot put him on the green, a few feet from the hole. I grabbed my wedge, stood by my ball, and judged the distance. My light swing lifted the ball from the grass in a smooth arc toward the green. It hit the rough at the edge of the green, bounced, rolled smoothly toward the flag, and plopped into the cup for a birdie. On the second hole, it happened again. I chipped my second shot into the hole. After double-bogeying the third hole, I chipped another one in on the fourth - three birdies in four holes. My game returned to normal. A double-bogey was something to get excited about. At the eighteenth hole, my first shot placed the ball at the edge of the green. My second shot bounced the ball across the green and into the cup for my fourth birdie of the day.
***************************
Don, my neighbour, looked at my ball. "You can take a free lift from there."
"You're right, Don, but the ground is level. I think I'll just shoot it from here."
I swung and lifted the ball in a high arc. I silently cursed. The ball appeared to be headed deep into the brush behind the green. I watched as it climbed higher and lose momentum in the wind. At the highest point in its arc, it lost speed, and dropped straight into the hole, rattling the flag as it did. Don was shocked. "In my more than forty years of golfing, I have never seen anyone drop a ball into the hole like that. What a shot! It's a birdie too." I smiled. "Thanks, Don."
***************************
I finished the last story. Jim looked at me. "You sound too good for me to play."
"Actually, I suck at golf." I smiled. "I just told you the best." What I didn't talk about were all the balls that landed in the woods and didn't bounce out. I didn't mention the trophy I won for the most lost balls in one round. Jim doesn't know I lost the hole-in-one ball in the woods on my next shot, and he doesn't know that the day I got four birdies, my final score was twenty-two over par. If someone asks me about my life, I tell them I had to move seven times between provinces, countries, and states. I talk about my wife, who died too young, the numerous jobs that ended before I thought they would, and I whine about the money hardships. It's all negative. It's time for me to tell the golf story. I loved and married a wonderful woman and shared the rest of her life with her. In the process, we created two children. I moved seven times and got to meet wonderful people and experience things that most can only dream about. I remarried to an amazing woman and we share a beautiful life together.
Life is hard - life is good. It's how you tell the story.
Now "that" is a golf lesson!
by Michael T. Smith
Michael lives and works in Caldwell, Idaho with his beautiful wife Ginny. He writes in his spare time and is currently working on a collection of his stories to be called, "From My Heart to Yours." To read more of Michael's stories go to: http://ourecho.com/biography-353-Michael-Timothy-Smith.shtml#stories or go to: http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?m=1101828445578&p=oi to sign up and receive his stories.
"Do you golf, Mike?" Jim asked.
"Not much, but..." I began to tell him three stories I never tire of telling.
***************************
Except for a few birds, the course was quiet. It was a great morning for golf: no one ahead to slow me down, no one behind to rush me forward. I looked down the hill. The fifth hole of the nine-hole, par 3 course lay below and one hundred and seventy yards away. The flag hung limp in the still air. A small knoll at the front of the green hid the cup. I checked my score card again. It was definitely a good day. After four holes, I was only six over par. I grabbed my seven iron, approached the tee, placed my ball, glanced at the flag, and positioned myself. After another look at the flag, I drew my club back and swung. The iron whistled through the air, struck the ball at an angle, and drove it spinning through the air. It started toward the hole, but the spin and aerodynamics took control. I watched helplessly as the ball sliced to the right, away from the hole, and head for the tall grass that separated the fairway from the forest. It slipped between the blades of grass, disappeared, bounced off something hard, and reappeared. I stood in shock. The ball bounced across the fairway, jumped over a sand trap, leaped onto the green, and headed toward the flag. It disappeared behind the small knoll. I waited for it to reappear. It didn't. "That must be close to the hole." I thought. I grabbed my clubs, walked down the hill, and approached the green. My eyes remained focused on the area around the flag. My ball was nowhere in sight, but the cup was still hidden by the knoll. I climbed to the top of the knoll. The cup came into view, but my ball didn't. The green was empty. I didn't think the ball rolled fast enough to go over the edge of the green, but I walked around to the back anyway. My ball wasn't there. I turned and look at the cup again. "It couldn't have?" My heart began to pound as I walked closer to the hole. There was my ball, nestled close to the pin at the bottom of the cup. It remains the only hole-in-one I ever got. There were no witnesses to my feat.
***************************
Jack and I stood at the tee-off to the first hole of an eighteen-hole, par-three course. My best friend took his first shot and came up short of the green. I teed off and watched my ball land a little short and slightly to the right of the green. Jack's second shot put him on the green, a few feet from the hole. I grabbed my wedge, stood by my ball, and judged the distance. My light swing lifted the ball from the grass in a smooth arc toward the green. It hit the rough at the edge of the green, bounced, rolled smoothly toward the flag, and plopped into the cup for a birdie. On the second hole, it happened again. I chipped my second shot into the hole. After double-bogeying the third hole, I chipped another one in on the fourth - three birdies in four holes. My game returned to normal. A double-bogey was something to get excited about. At the eighteenth hole, my first shot placed the ball at the edge of the green. My second shot bounced the ball across the green and into the cup for my fourth birdie of the day.
***************************
Don, my neighbour, looked at my ball. "You can take a free lift from there."
"You're right, Don, but the ground is level. I think I'll just shoot it from here."
I swung and lifted the ball in a high arc. I silently cursed. The ball appeared to be headed deep into the brush behind the green. I watched as it climbed higher and lose momentum in the wind. At the highest point in its arc, it lost speed, and dropped straight into the hole, rattling the flag as it did. Don was shocked. "In my more than forty years of golfing, I have never seen anyone drop a ball into the hole like that. What a shot! It's a birdie too." I smiled. "Thanks, Don."
***************************
I finished the last story. Jim looked at me. "You sound too good for me to play."
"Actually, I suck at golf." I smiled. "I just told you the best." What I didn't talk about were all the balls that landed in the woods and didn't bounce out. I didn't mention the trophy I won for the most lost balls in one round. Jim doesn't know I lost the hole-in-one ball in the woods on my next shot, and he doesn't know that the day I got four birdies, my final score was twenty-two over par. If someone asks me about my life, I tell them I had to move seven times between provinces, countries, and states. I talk about my wife, who died too young, the numerous jobs that ended before I thought they would, and I whine about the money hardships. It's all negative. It's time for me to tell the golf story. I loved and married a wonderful woman and shared the rest of her life with her. In the process, we created two children. I moved seven times and got to meet wonderful people and experience things that most can only dream about. I remarried to an amazing woman and we share a beautiful life together.
Life is hard - life is good. It's how you tell the story.
Now "that" is a golf lesson!
Friday, May 15, 2009
Golf’s Colorful Language Goes With Any Green
By BILL PENNINGTON of the New York Times
Do you speak golf?
Do you play for Barkies? Or Arnies? Do you avail yourself of the breakfast ball and love a good game of Bingo, Bango, Bongo?
Have you found yourself dormie, stymied, plugged or in the cabbage?
Have you dubbed it, shrimped it, shanked it, dinked it or duck-hooked it? And do you know the difference? Have you hit a scooter? How about one in the side door?
Are you a sandbagger? A pigeon? A player? A hooker?
Do you know who lovingly called his putter Billy Baroo?
In other words, are you conversant in the dialect of golf? Do you not only play golf but also revel in all of its idiosyncratic, peculiar lingo?
I hope so. It’s the code of the tribe, sometimes the best part of being in the weird golf fraternity. Nothing can assuage the misery of a poor shot like a good, self-deprecating idiom for your idiocy.
Golfers could say, “Oh, that’s a bad shot.” But why, when they can say they chunked it, skulled it or smothered it?
And golf linguistics are not just for your bad shots. In fact, most of the terms deal with making fun of your partners’ shots. Because theirs are never simply in trouble, in a pond or out of bounds. They are in jail, rinsed or Oscar Bravo.
This vernacular is centuries old, passed on and continually abridged and expanded, especially with references that are amazingly relevant to pop culture. There are sayings linked to Rush Limbaugh and Nancy Pelosi (think of shots going right or left), Osama Bin Laden (think of all the bunkers on a golf course) and Paris Hilton (think of anything). O.K., many of these references are too risqué to be repeated here, but it makes me feel good that golf — a so-called stodgy game invented five centuries ago — can stay current.
It also proves to me something nongolfers often fail to grasp: old-fashioned golf is at its heart an old-fashioned social exercise.
“Golf lingo developed because the golf course is a place where people get to know each other, and the game is so hard it especially leads to teasing, joking and ragging on each other,” said Randy Voorhees, the author of “The Little Book of Golf Slang.”
“The lingo has persisted because golf is a game you play for a lifetime,” he said. “So parents pass the terms on to their children, or older players use this colorful vernacular around younger players, and it becomes a natural way of speaking on the golf course.”
The first time you hit a ball on the green and someone calls for it to “sit,” does that not perfectly describe what you want the ball to do? If you hit a ball in the water and someone says it is “wet,” does that not forevermore seem like the best portrayal of its position and your disposition?
“A lot of golf terms actually evoke an image of what is happening out there,” Voorhees said. “You can carve, feather or gouge a shot, and once you learn to perform those shots, they are words that exactly describe what you’re trying to do.”
The golf lexicon has not developed by accident. David Normoyle, the assistant director of the United States Golf Association Museum, cited three primary reasons.
“One, golf is played over such a vast, irregular surface, we need a myriad of descriptions for play on a golf course,” he said. “Two, golf is truly a global game and has many local variations and flavors. Lastly, and perhaps more than anything else, golf has had great poets, and they have tried to capture the essence of the game.”
Who knew that having “the shanks” was meant to be literature?
Now if you’re a beginner or a casual player, you may find golfspeak to be another intimidating barrier to feeling comfortable on the course — a verbal version of golf’s code of behavioral etiquettes. But don’t fret.
There are no secret passwords in the pro shop or trick questions posed on the first tee. People are engrossed in their own games. Don’t play slowly or throw your clubs, and no one will care much about your golf vocabulary.
“Keep your ears open; you’ll learn it all as you go,” Voorhees said. “Soon it will flow out of your mouth naturally.”
I would make one suggestion: visit the local municipal golf course. A lot about golf can be learned there in general, but without question, it is where you will hear the richest, most saucy golf phrases.
But please, don’t be a mute out there. You may come up with a new term for our treasured golf glossary.
Speaking of which, I don’t have time to give definitions for every piece of golf slang used in this article. If you really need translations, they won’t be too hard to come by.
But I can’t leave anyone hanging about Billy Baroo, because “Caddyshack” references are sacred in the cult. The great Ted Knight, as Judge Smails, called his lucky putter Billy Baroo. Years later, that commendation held such merit that it became the name of a line of real putters.
If you are new to golf, understanding the Smails character’s role in the American game is pivotal. Watch the movie some Saturday night after a great, or horrible, round. You’ll feel better — and understand the lingo a bit better.
It also may help explain why you’ve seen someone stand on the first tee and pause to announce, “Gambling is illegal at Bushwood, sir, and I never slice.”
Next time, you’ll be able to bet a hundred bucks they slice it into the woods.
In Layman’s Terms
NASSAU A group game with three bets: low score on the front nine, back nine and for the full 18 holes.
BARKIES A bet won for making par after hitting a tree.
ACEY DEUCEY A group betting game in which the low scorer on each hole (ace) wins money from the other three players and the high scorer (deuce) loses money to the other three players.
BINGO, BANGO, BONGO A points game awarding a point to the first player on the green (bingo), a point for being closest to the hole when everyone has reached the green (bango) and a point for being the first in the hole (bongo).
Do you speak golf?
Do you play for Barkies? Or Arnies? Do you avail yourself of the breakfast ball and love a good game of Bingo, Bango, Bongo?
Have you found yourself dormie, stymied, plugged or in the cabbage?
Have you dubbed it, shrimped it, shanked it, dinked it or duck-hooked it? And do you know the difference? Have you hit a scooter? How about one in the side door?
Are you a sandbagger? A pigeon? A player? A hooker?
Do you know who lovingly called his putter Billy Baroo?
In other words, are you conversant in the dialect of golf? Do you not only play golf but also revel in all of its idiosyncratic, peculiar lingo?
I hope so. It’s the code of the tribe, sometimes the best part of being in the weird golf fraternity. Nothing can assuage the misery of a poor shot like a good, self-deprecating idiom for your idiocy.
Golfers could say, “Oh, that’s a bad shot.” But why, when they can say they chunked it, skulled it or smothered it?
And golf linguistics are not just for your bad shots. In fact, most of the terms deal with making fun of your partners’ shots. Because theirs are never simply in trouble, in a pond or out of bounds. They are in jail, rinsed or Oscar Bravo.
This vernacular is centuries old, passed on and continually abridged and expanded, especially with references that are amazingly relevant to pop culture. There are sayings linked to Rush Limbaugh and Nancy Pelosi (think of shots going right or left), Osama Bin Laden (think of all the bunkers on a golf course) and Paris Hilton (think of anything). O.K., many of these references are too risqué to be repeated here, but it makes me feel good that golf — a so-called stodgy game invented five centuries ago — can stay current.
It also proves to me something nongolfers often fail to grasp: old-fashioned golf is at its heart an old-fashioned social exercise.
“Golf lingo developed because the golf course is a place where people get to know each other, and the game is so hard it especially leads to teasing, joking and ragging on each other,” said Randy Voorhees, the author of “The Little Book of Golf Slang.”
“The lingo has persisted because golf is a game you play for a lifetime,” he said. “So parents pass the terms on to their children, or older players use this colorful vernacular around younger players, and it becomes a natural way of speaking on the golf course.”
The first time you hit a ball on the green and someone calls for it to “sit,” does that not perfectly describe what you want the ball to do? If you hit a ball in the water and someone says it is “wet,” does that not forevermore seem like the best portrayal of its position and your disposition?
“A lot of golf terms actually evoke an image of what is happening out there,” Voorhees said. “You can carve, feather or gouge a shot, and once you learn to perform those shots, they are words that exactly describe what you’re trying to do.”
The golf lexicon has not developed by accident. David Normoyle, the assistant director of the United States Golf Association Museum, cited three primary reasons.
“One, golf is played over such a vast, irregular surface, we need a myriad of descriptions for play on a golf course,” he said. “Two, golf is truly a global game and has many local variations and flavors. Lastly, and perhaps more than anything else, golf has had great poets, and they have tried to capture the essence of the game.”
Who knew that having “the shanks” was meant to be literature?
Now if you’re a beginner or a casual player, you may find golfspeak to be another intimidating barrier to feeling comfortable on the course — a verbal version of golf’s code of behavioral etiquettes. But don’t fret.
There are no secret passwords in the pro shop or trick questions posed on the first tee. People are engrossed in their own games. Don’t play slowly or throw your clubs, and no one will care much about your golf vocabulary.
“Keep your ears open; you’ll learn it all as you go,” Voorhees said. “Soon it will flow out of your mouth naturally.”
I would make one suggestion: visit the local municipal golf course. A lot about golf can be learned there in general, but without question, it is where you will hear the richest, most saucy golf phrases.
But please, don’t be a mute out there. You may come up with a new term for our treasured golf glossary.
Speaking of which, I don’t have time to give definitions for every piece of golf slang used in this article. If you really need translations, they won’t be too hard to come by.
But I can’t leave anyone hanging about Billy Baroo, because “Caddyshack” references are sacred in the cult. The great Ted Knight, as Judge Smails, called his lucky putter Billy Baroo. Years later, that commendation held such merit that it became the name of a line of real putters.
If you are new to golf, understanding the Smails character’s role in the American game is pivotal. Watch the movie some Saturday night after a great, or horrible, round. You’ll feel better — and understand the lingo a bit better.
It also may help explain why you’ve seen someone stand on the first tee and pause to announce, “Gambling is illegal at Bushwood, sir, and I never slice.”
Next time, you’ll be able to bet a hundred bucks they slice it into the woods.
In Layman’s Terms
NASSAU A group game with three bets: low score on the front nine, back nine and for the full 18 holes.
BARKIES A bet won for making par after hitting a tree.
ACEY DEUCEY A group betting game in which the low scorer on each hole (ace) wins money from the other three players and the high scorer (deuce) loses money to the other three players.
BINGO, BANGO, BONGO A points game awarding a point to the first player on the green (bingo), a point for being closest to the hole when everyone has reached the green (bango) and a point for being the first in the hole (bongo).
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Great Golf Poem
In My Hand I Hold A Ball,
White And Dimpled, Rather Small.Oh, How Bland It Does Appear,
This Harmless Looking Little Sphere.
By Its Size I Could Not Guess,
The Awesome Strength It Does Possess.
But Since I Fell Beneath Its Spell,
I've Wandered Through The Fires Of Hell.
My Life Has Not Been Quite The Same,
Since I Chose To Play This Stupid Game.
It Rules My Mind For Hours On End,
A Fortune It Has Made Me Spend.
It Has Made Me Yell, Curse And Cry,
I Hate Myself And Want To Die.
It Promises A Thing Called Par,
If I Can Hit It Straight And Far.
To Master Such A Tiny Ball,
Should Not Be Very Hard At All.
But My Desires The Ball Refuses,
And Does Exactly As It Chooses.
It Hooks And Slices, Dribbles And Dies,
And Even Disappears Before My Eyes.
Often It Will Have A Whim,
To Hit A Tree Or Take A Swim.
With Miles Of Grass On Which To Land,
It Finds A Tiny Patch Of Sand.
Then Has Me Offering Up My Soul,
If Only It Would Find The Hole.
It's Made Me Whimper Like A Pup,
And Swear That I Will Give It Up.
And Take To Drink To Ease My Sorrow,
But The Ball Knows ... I'll Be Back Tomorrow.
Should Not Be Very Hard At All.
But My Desires The Ball Refuses,
And Does Exactly As It Chooses.
It Hooks And Slices, Dribbles And Dies,
And Even Disappears Before My Eyes.
Often It Will Have A Whim,
To Hit A Tree Or Take A Swim.
With Miles Of Grass On Which To Land,
It Finds A Tiny Patch Of Sand.
Then Has Me Offering Up My Soul,
If Only It Would Find The Hole.
It's Made Me Whimper Like A Pup,
And Swear That I Will Give It Up.
And Take To Drink To Ease My Sorrow,
But The Ball Knows ... I'll Be Back Tomorrow.
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